


Mute It Out

by itxokayish



Series: The Kogane Logs [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: ALLURA PILOTS BLUE, Abuse, Angst, Comfort, FLUFFFYYYY, Fluff, Galran Father, Human Mother, Hurt, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Imprisoned Since Birth, Lance pilots Red, M/M, Mute Keith, Talk of Self-Harm/Suicide, There's plot, Voltron Without Keith, hurt keith, lots of fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2018-12-16 07:53:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 23
Words: 63,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11824326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itxokayish/pseuds/itxokayish
Summary: On a mission, Lance has to escape through the prisoner quarters, where he sees a human prisoner, Keith, and rescues him.Little do they know that Keith had actually been born in Galran prisons, and all his life he has only known one cycle, suffer, heal, repeat.How will Keith, thrive in this new environment, where he is supposed to live on his own free will, something that has never even been an option before.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Lance, of course gets himself in trouble, but little does he know he will be thankful he got separated from his team.

"What do you mean you can't get out?" Pidge yelled through the radio com.

"I mean I got seperated from Shiro," Lance yelled in the same irritated tone back at Pidge. 

"Okay, I see you on the map, I'll guide you through it," Pidge sighed. "You couldn't just let them go, could you?" The teen girl said as she started locating the exit.

"They don't call me the sharpshooter for no reason," Lance said as he smirked to himself, taking the first turn directed by Pidge.

"Nobody calls you that," he could hear the rest of his team say in unison.

"Just focus on getting me out, how about that?" Lance scoffed as he took yet another turn.

"Okay, you are going to have to pass by some of the prisoner quarters, and then signal Red to get you from one of the openings," Pidge instructed.

"Signal Red? I can't just do that, she just comes to me when I am in danger," Lance whined as he continued on, hiding as one of the guards passed by.

"Well, if you don't get out, you are going to get killed. Enough danger for you?" Pidge asked sarcastically.

"Yeah, okay," Lance said as he turned another corner.

"Okay you should be making your way through the outside of the the prisoner quarters," Pidge said.

Lance nodded as he looked at all the closed metal doors. There weren't that many, and most prisons he was used to had metal bars or at least same way to see the prisoners.

"Are you sure this is for prisoners?" Lance asked as he slyly walked through.

"It says here, that-um, oh here it is," Pidge said through the com. "This is supposed to be for isolation, or some dangerous prisoners," she added.

"That brings me comfort," Lance said as he suddenly heard people coming down the prisoner hall. He jumped through a gap as quickly as he could as he heard Galra. He held his bayard close to him in case he would need it.

"Everything would come so easy if you would just obey, human," he could hear the vicious words of a galran soldier.

Wait, did he say human?

"Lance, you have to get out of there fast, the castle can't stay here forever," he heard Allura say through the com.

"There's a human prisoner," was all Lance said as he could hear Pidge gasp.

"Lance, we can't. He could be tracked, we can't-," he heard Allura say. 

"I have to try," Lance cut her off as he powered his bayard and jumped out to the prisoner hallway, meeting the Glass soldier face to face.

Before the soldier could even respond he shot him and he fell to the ground. He looked at the frail prisoner that feel down with him. He must have been so weak. He could see his bloody lip and the multiple scratches on his legs. 

Lance winced as he looked at the prisoner. He did indeed look human, and all that he was wearing was a long shirt that ran to the midway of his thigh. His hair was styled in a mullet, and there was blood running down his legs.

"Lance, if you are going to do this, you have to get out now!" Shiro yelled causing Lance to jump into action. He turned on his jet pack, and picked up the passed out prisoner bridal style. He was shocked and worried at how light the boy was, but tried to not lay too much mind to it as they made it towards the exit.

"You have company ahead," Pidge said as Lance could feel the prisoner in his arms rustle and groan in pain.

"Why can't the Galra just give me a break?" Lance asked as he tried to shift the boy to his back. It wasn't working, and if he didn't wake up they would both probably be shot down.

"Pidge!" Lance said as he felt himself panicking.

"I'm working on it," Pidge responded in the same panic.

Suddenly, Lance turned to corner and instead of being greeted by gunshots, he was greeted by powered off, collapsed sentries.

"Thank you Pidge," Lance sighed as he once again grasped the prisoner securely in his arms.

"Wait, Pidge, he won't make it out in space," Lance suddenly realized.

"Lance, we don't have the time. And who knows what this prisoner could do. What if he has a tracker?" Allura warned.

"He is a human Allura. How many human prisoners do we come by?" Lance said as he started making his way through the opening.

"Let's just hope Red thinks I am in a lot of danger," Lance said as he grabbed the collar of the boy's shirt and tightly put it over his nose and mouth, hoping it would buy him some oxygen as Red got to them.

With one last deep sigh, Lance burst out and within seconds, he could feel the prisoner in his hands start freezing up. As he was starting to loose hope, he saw his lion come rushing towards them, engulfing them both in its metal form.

"Thanks Red," Lance said as he situated the prisoner as best as he could to pilot Red.

"Lance, we will try to hold he fighters off, but you have to make it to the castle as soon as possible, or we might not make it," Pidge said to him as Lance piloted through the fighters and the debris from the fight.

With a few shots and dodges, Lance made it through the castle's particle barrier and successfully entered the castle. He could feel the castle getting ready to enter a wormhole as he landed his lion and carried the prisoner out.

Lance took off his helmet and placed it on the prisoner, setting oxygen levels high, hoping it would help him recover as they made their way to a healing pod.

"How did you get on their ship?" Lance quietly said as he picked the boy up once again, leading him to where the healing pods would be.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coran lets the team know that the rescued prisoner is starting to wake, and the team figures out how to deal with the matter. A lot of details are revealed about the boy's condition, and it just adds to the tension in trying to find a compromise for the better health of the boy.  
> (A lot of angst, and also slight descriptions, again sorry, especially to Keith, yikes)

"Did you check him for trackers?" Allura asked as she hovered near the healing pod containing the rescued prisoner.

"For the last time, yes. He does not appear to have any location devices of any sort," Pidge groaned as she sat down and started typing away at her laptop.

"How long till he wakes up?" Lance asked as he looked at the boy.

"Soon, for we are just going to let the superficial wounds heal up, and then for the reassurance of the princess ask him some questions before continuing the process," Coran responded as he checked the vitals of the patients.

"Is his information coming up?" Shiro asked Coran as he crossed his arms in from of his chest, picking at the metal crevices of his Galran arm.

"Paladins, I won't be able to check anything if you do not give me space to breathe. I will inform you of any occurrences when they come," Corn suddenly burst out, turning to look at all the Paladins. "Sorry, but because he is a prisoner, there are barriers we have to get by. He seems to be in disturbance, and he doesn't seem to be responding completely to the treatment. Until he calms down a bit, I will have his medical information for you to see.

"Well I'm going to go make dinner, if any of you want to go help me," Hunk announced as he started walking out.

"I'll go do some combat work," Shiro announced, as he too walked out. Soon enough, it was just Lance and Pidge in the room as Coran went to check on the ships operating systems while he waited for sometime of medical program to work. Lance sighed as he sat down next to Pidge.

"Do you think this is getting to him, you know with him being-you know," Lance said to Pidge as she looked up from her computer.

"Yeah, I mean he was kept by the Galra for some time. So to see, a prisoner, human nonetheless, could bring up some thing Lance, but I wouldn't push it," Pidge said as she returned to her computer.

"What are you so busy doing?" Lance asked, trying to settle his mind from something other than the current situation. He had to get the sight of seeing that poor boy in such an awful state from his mind.

"Well, I am just doing some data analysis," Pidge said, briefing over the subject.

"What does that mean exactly?" Lance asked, knowing she was ignoring the topic.

"Well I got a blood sample-" Pidge began.

"Where the hell did you get a blood sample? Did you poke him with needles, gosh Pidge, after everything he probably went through, you just-," Lance burst out, accusing Pidge.

"Lance! Shut up!" Pidge yelled. After Lance calmed down she spoke once more,"I got it from your suit. When you-when you carrie him in, I got the sample form your space suit," Pidge confessed.

"But why would you need a blood sample?" Lance asked as he looked at her with inquiry.

"Allura asked me too, she wanted to know exactly what he was and what to expect," Pidge explained.

"Are you kidding me, look at him, he is human," Lance said as he pointed at the fragile figure in the pod behind him.

"It is just a precaution. Allura says that back in the days prisoners were injected with some type of tracking fluid, but it stopped being used due to the expenses of the war. Lance, it is just a precaution to know what is going on," Pidge reassured.

"Still," Lance said as he looked over at the boy behind him. "Did you find anything out? Anything to ease Allura's conscience?" Lance asked as he got up and looked closer at the boy. HE looked troubled and it bothered Lance that even in a healing pod, the boy was not able to find peace.

"Well I can assure you, he is not being tracked," Pidge said, as she read off the information. Lance heard her gasp as she looked at her screen.

"What is it?" Lance asked as she looked at her computer.

"He-he, well he is," Pidge struggled to say as Lance looked over at her computer and looked at where her cursor was.

"But it can't be," Lance said as he looked back at the figure behind him. "There has to be a mistake," Lance said. "He can't be, look at him."

"It could be DNA mixed with his blood from other Galra. I mean where was he bleeding from?" Pidge asked as she adjusted her glasses, starting to think there had to be some other explanation.

"Well he was-there was blood running-well down his-legs," Lance struggled to say as he looked down at the ground.

"You mean from his-?" Pidge asked as the color ran from her face. Lance just nodded.

"Well, then that would explain things. Either he is part Galra, or his blood got...mixed with other DNA because he was-," Pidge started to say.

"Yeah, I understand what you mean," Lance said as he cut her off, not wanting her to finish. He thought it was a possibility. Not seeing much reason in my there would indeed be blood running down anybody's legs from there other than- other than sexual intercourse. It just hurt to even imagine such a weak being having to endure that, and much less seeing how much bigger the Galra were to just a puny little, defenseless human, just made Lance despise the Galra even more.

"Are you going to tell Allura?" Lance asked as he turned away from the boy behind him, not being able to look at him without imagining his pain.

"I have to, but I will make sure to explain what the possibilities could be," Pidge said as she began to get up, and walk out, leaving Lance alone with the boy.

* * *

"Lance," Lance suddenly heard through the com in his room as he slept. He quickly got up and rushed to answer.

"Yes?" he asked, in a drowsy voice, as he had just jumped a little to quickly our of bed.

"He is out of the pod," Coran said, and Lance was out to the healing pods before he could even finish, pajamas and all.

As soon as Lance entered he could see all the Paladins were present except for Shiro. He could see as the boy was laid in some type of floatable cot that probably Coran had brought. Lance could see that he was dressed in a white shirt and white shorts. His wrists and ankles were bound, and his gaze suddenly turned towards Allura.

"Why is he bound?" He asked in anger as he walked over to the side of the boy.

"He could be half Galra for all we know Lance. He could attack us," Allura said as she crossed her arms over her chest, looking stubbornly at Lance.

"It is just a precaution Lance. We still don't know anything. As soon as he talks, we will be able to clear everything up, and then we will decide what to do, but for now, this is what is best," Pidge said as she stood next to Coran filtering through soem medical history.

"Have you looked at him. He can barely even breathe, but here you are claiming he is going to kill us," Lance started to argue.

"Lance, calm down," Hunk said as he put his hand on Lance's shoulder, letting his breathing slow from the simmering anger.

"I was able to pull up the medical report," Coran said, breaking the growing tension in the room. Allura and Lance both put their guards down as they looked to where Coran and Pidge. Lance could see the look of pain in Pidge's eyes as she scrolled through the information.

"It appears-," Pidge said as she gulped.

"There are multiple lacerations all throughout his body, but from what the tech can gather, he is around sixteen years old," Coran said, and the rest of the room fell even quiter as they all looked at the boy, who everyone thought could pass for being just a messily twelve year old. "There seems to be Galran writing carved into his skin, along with multiple deep cuts that should have killed him. There also seems to be multiple bruising areas located on his writs, arms, legs, ankles, and just about any place that would allow for restraints.," Coran continued to out loud. The team winced and looked at the boy, who was still not fully woken up. 

"There is also severe damage to-the-to the rectum area, as well as a Galran piece of tech on the mid left side of his neck, there's a lot more, but I think you get the idea, this boy should not be alive," Coran somberly said as he turned off the holographic medical report.

"Then how is he?" Hunk asked, what the rest of the group was too in shock to ask.

"Druids," a voice suddenly said that came from the opening of the room Shiro.

"They can heal just about any wound, and easier if it's on a human," Shiro explained.

"But why would they use their power to save a human, who could easily be killed?" Allura asked.

"Humans are hard to come by in space, and plus we make perfect subjects for experimentation," Shiro added as he slightly signaled to his arm.

"So you are saying that he should be dead, but he isn't because some magical Galran witch thingies decided that they should use him for experimentation?" Hunk asked.

"Yeah," Lance said. The room fell quiet as everyone processed the information. "But where in the quiznack were they able to get a human? It seems a lot fo trouble to go to Earth just ot get one, and telling by his appearance, he looks rather young, so he was taken during the war?" Lance asked.

"I think I know a way to check his prisoner data, the same way I was able to look at Matt's. It will just take some time, but I think I will be able to have it in at least two days," Pidge said, the rest of the team nodded. It was quiet for a moment, but then everyone sprung into life as suddenly the boy's eyelids fluttered open.

In panic, he could see the boy breathe heavily. He tried to move his limbs, but as soon as he noticed he was bound, he stopped rusting and went limp, as if waiting for something. It was Lance who decided to finally walk up to him, and as soon as the boy took note of someone approaching him, he started trembling violently.

"Hey, hey, I'm not going to hurt you, we are just trying to help you," Lance said as he looked at the boy. Sweat building up around his hairline, and his purple eyes, looking everywhere but at Lance, were filing up with tears.

"Hey, it's okay," Lance said as he tried to grasp his hand. The boy winced but didn't fight it. "Can you tell me your name?" Lance asked, but the boy ooked at him puzzled, trying to comprehend what he was saying.

"I don't think he understands you," Hunk suddenly said. Keith's eyes darted to where the voice came from and then he started looking around more, noticing his surroundings and the people in it. Lance could see his chest was heaving.

"Shh, shh, it's okay, we are here to help you," Lance said, and Keith locked eyes with him, nodding viciously side to side, and whimpering as he started sobbing.

"Allura, are these really necessary?" Lance asked as he touched the cuffs holding the boy in place.

"This could all be an act," Allura said, as she looked intently at the sobbing boy, questioning her own words. Soon enough, the sobs filled the room, and the boy started to lose it.

"Here, how about we put him in a holding cell, but at least take these off, he is going to hurt himself," Pidge said as she walked up to Allura. Thinking about it, Allura nodded.

"Sedate him first and then take him to one of the rooms aboard the ship, but lock the door. No one is to go in unsupervised," Allura instructed as she started walking out. "We still don't know what it is capable of," she added as she walked out, Shiro following her.

"It's not an it," Lance scoffed beneath his breath as Coran injected the boy with a sedative. Lace watched him pass out, wiping away his tears, on his now calm face, as Pidge undid the restraints. Hunk carried the boy to where Coran led him, and set him down on the bed.

"Let's leave him to rest," Coran said as the three Paladins crowding against the exit nodded. Lance was a bit hesitant walking back to his quarters, but Pidge suddenly grazed past him. "He will be okay," she reassured as Lance nodded and headed to bed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pidge is able to track down the first of the logs that the Galra had written about the boy. Through these, Lance begins to understand the boy and how his life came to be.

It hurt. It hurt Lance to have to leave the boy alone. To know that he could be in pain and be hurting. He didn't even know why he cared so much, he didn't even know the guy. It just brought up memories, he guessed. It made him remember Shiro, and how broken Shiro was. How he would wake up screaming and how he was forced to pull it together for the sake of the team, and quite frankly the universe. Lance just guessed it hurt more, because there was nothing he could do.

The boy seemed to not respond at all to anything he said, and worst of all, he seemed to not even understand what he was saying, or comprehend the different tones of voice. It scared him, knowing that he had been broken down enough that even the sound of anyone's voice was enough to send him sobbing and beg for mercy with just his body language. Recalling the situation, the boy hadn't spoken a single word since he got here, there was even a possibility he could be mute.

Lanced sighed as he imagined how scared the boy had to be, and sat up from his bed, as he headed out to the computer room. He logged onto his, and looked at the mission log of their last mission. They were just going to get some tracking information for the Blade of Marmora, but because of Lance's impulsivity, they got tangled even further. But the more Lance thought about it, the more he thanks his lack of reason because that meant they had saved someone from the vicious clutches of the Galra.

"Can't sleep either?" he suddenly heard Pidge say as she entered the room, placing her own laptop next to him, sitting down beside Lance.

"Says the insomniac," Lance chuckled as he scooted to make more room for Pidge to settle.

"Funny," Pidge said sarcastically as she looked over at what Lance was doing. "You realize only I can do that," she teased as she looked at the information on Lance's screen.

"Yeah, I learned, I can only get out stupid log information. How do you even access the prisoner logs?" Lance asked as he shut off his computer.

"A master never reveals their secret, but if you must know I did manage to access the first logs, which actually seem to be less encrypted than recent ones. I will probably have all of them in two days like I said," Pidge explained as she pressed some buttons on her computer, and suddenly Lance's blank screen turned on, presenting several messages from Pidge.

"Are these?" Lance began to ask.

"Yeah, they are pretty dark though, so don't read them all in one go," Pidge said as she clicked away more at the keys on her laptop.

"I'm guessing you already read them all," Lance weakly chuckled as he pulled up all the logs that were sent to his computer.

"Yeah, not the best idea. It just gave me more reasons to hate the Galra. I didn't know a being could be so messed up," she said as she moved to sit on one of the sofas in the computer room. She clicked a few buttons and some snacks appeared on the coffee table in front of her. She nibbled away as she types away. Lance sighed as he was left alone with the few logs Pidge had sent him.

He was not prepared for this, he thought he would never be. He scrolled over slowly to his inbox and noted there were only three logs present. He opened the oldest one and was surprisingly presented with actual English.

"Did you translate it?" Lance asked, turning back to look at Pidge.

"Uh-yeah, I created this software that allows-," she began to say, but stopped as she looked at the confusion in Lance's face. "Yeah, I made a Galran translator," she sighed as she returned to her work.

Lance just hummed in response as he returned to the logs.

"Here goes nothing," he said as he opened up the first log, which was dated to be 16 years from today.

_**[P** risoner **H546-98** was born today. It is shown that even in awful conditions, a mother will do anything for their child to survive. The human mother suffered severe injuries during labor, but the druids were able to heal her up. This is the tenth time the mother has tried to die on us, the next time might be the last. But by then she will be of no use if the project fails, so resources wouldn't be needed to be wasted on her if the hybrid does not obey and survive._

_The child proved to be healthy and strong, but does not show any Galran features. It will be tested for Galran DNA as soon as it is stable. This could be a huge advancement in Galran hybrids, as we could easily disguise our soldiers in what appear to be such weak and frail species._

_The child has shown to have indigo tinged eyes, as well as pale skin, like the mother. It is fascinating how few Galran features the hybrid obtained. But it will be the first in hopefully many future, successful experiments. As the cild grows up, we will see how well the experiment goes to proceed further actio **n.]**_

As the short log ended, Lance looked at the screen in pure sickness. How could they do this? Force someone to offspring a child from their own abductors? And how could they plan to do it so willingly in the future? He felt like throwing up, the sound of the Galran referring to the boy like a thing, and talking about using him like some type of weapon in their game of war. He could only see how their plan had not gone as they hoped as he envisioned the horrific sight of the prisoner.

He took a frustrated breath as he got tired of referring to the boy as a ' _the boy'_. He felt that he should have a name, anything, other than _'the boy'_ or _'the prisoner'._

"Have you been able to find his name by any chance?" Lance asked as he looked back at Pidge who flinched as she was pulled from what she was reading, probably some more logs she had been able to obtain.

"What?" she asked as she focused back into reality.

"His name. Have you-?" Lance asked.

"Keith," Pidge answered before he could finish. "I mean that's what the mother-his mother, wanted to call him, but she never really got the chance," Pidge said sadly as she closed her laptop and looked at Lance. "I can't read anymore," she sighed as she laid on the sofa. "I'm going to doze off for a bit."

"Okay, you do that," Lance said as he clicked on the second log Pidge had sent him.

"Let's find out who you are and how I can help you, _Keith_ ," Lance whispered to himself as he clicked on the next log.

 


	4. Chapter 4

_**[P** risoner  **H546-98** , does in fact appear to be at leat 50% Galra. Because of his Galran side, he is able to be stronger in vile conditions. We have waited until the subject is of age to withstand our tests and give us some presentable results._

_Today the test subject turns two human years, and we have started our experimentations officially. We tested the limitations of the hybrid with a voltage test, an isolation test, and an instinct survival test._

_It was able to withstand, in incriminations of five, thirty watts of electricity to its body. After, the being appeared to start seizing and go into cardiac arrest. One of the druids was called to heal up the child before it died. Next we saw how long it will last without communication with others or the fulfillment of its basic needs._

_The child is still not able to talk, just slight murmurs or hand movements indicating what it wants. We were given orders to not teach the being how to communicate, and to see if it tries to talk all on its own._

_We will check back, when the child appears to not withstand the condition **s.]**_

As Lance finished reading the log he could feel his stomach start to churn. He had curiosity as to what the boy-Keith's life had been like, but he never imagined this. For the Galra to breed their own human and use them as some type of experiment in their war plan. It was sickening, imagining what else the species had put the boy through. He gulped as he was about to click on the next log, going against what Pidge had advised, but he was suddenly met with a blaring alarm.

"We just got a distress signal from a nearby planet!" Lance could hear Coran through the room's speaker. "Also we are under attack," he added and Lance groaned as he shut off the holographic screen to his computer and ran towards the main piloting room. 

He entered seeing Allura already piloting the ship and Shiro is his leading chair, giving orders to the other Paladins.

"Who is attacking us?" Hunk asked as he tapped away on his screen.

"It appears to be the species from the distress signal," Pidge says as she checks the cameras.

"So the people that are asking us for help are the ones that are attacking us? Talk about mixed signals," Lance joked. "Hey where is Keith, wait is he safe, did he wake up?" Lance began to ask frantically, realizing Keith was nowhere to be found.

"Who's Keith?" Allura asked as she steered the ship away, Coran already starting their communications system, telling the attackers they were there to help.

"The boy that we rescued, his name is Keith," Pidge said as she helped Coran broadcast the message.

"Hey, that's a human name! That means he is human right?" Hunk said.

"We will explain later, first how about we get out of the brinks of death," Pidge sarcastically suggested as she and Coran were able to broadcast the message. As soon as it sent, the attackers stopped in their tracks and held their ground.

"They are telling us to land our ship," Coran said, targeting his words at Allura. "Do we wish to proceed with action, Princess?"

"Voltron is a protector to all innocent things, we have to at least check it out," Allura said as she started steering the ship. "It will take a few hours, but we should be there without harm."

"Now that we are out of death's grasp, I am going to check on the boy-Keith," Lance declared.

"All of Voltron needs to be there to greet these people, Lance," Allura lectured.

"Well someone needs to check on, I don't know the person we just rescued from the Galra, who is probably scared as hell that he is alone in this new place," Lance said and walked out the door before anyone could stop him.

"He can't go see him alone, it's dangerous," Allura warned, hinting at someone to rush after him.

"I'll go," Pidge said as she turned off her screens and headed out the door. "Don't anybody jump at the opportunity," she added sarcastically.

* * *

Lance took a deep breath as he went down the hallway where Keith was staying.

"Hey Lance, wait," Pidge called after Lance and he turned around, looking at the panting girl.

"You are going to see him to?" Lance asked.

"Nobody is allowed to be alone with him, Allura's orders," Pidge responded.

"He isn't going to hurt anybody, you read the logs. He isn't dangerous," Lance said, almost irritated at Pidge.

"We don't know that, I still don't have all the logs, and plus nobody else knows anything about him other than you and me. Everyone else just thinks he is part Galra and some type of trap for us to fall into. You can't blame them, just give it time," Pidge lectured, and Lance just stood there, but finally nodded as he had to admit, her words made an awful lot of sense.

Lance wordlessly opened the door and they both quickly slipped in. The room was a lot bigger than what the Paladins were used to. It looked like the master bedroom, if you compared it to Earth architecture. It even had its own bathroom.

Because the ship wasn't built with holding cells, it was either this, or force Keith into hibernation in a healing pod, which Lance would have never allowed. He didn't want the boy to feel like he was yet another prisoner, having no say in what was done to him. At least in this room, he would have free will to tend to himself.

As thought of, Keith was no longer in the bed. This caused the duo to be a little on  the edge, for they had not had much interaction with Keith out of his helpless, or sedated form.

"Check the bathroom," Lance said as he turned and looked under the bed. Pidge nodded as she headed into the bathroom.

"Lance, oh my god Lance!" he suddenly heard Pidge scream, and he immediately rushed to where she was. Keith was on the floor, sitting on his knees, with a razor in his hands. Lance could see blood on his white shirt and shorts. His own blood ran cold as he saw horizontal cuts on his arm.

As he noticed the duo staring at him, he stood up and growled at them like an animal. His eyes started glowing an unnatural yellow and he looked like he was ready to kill.

"Lance, he looks like he wants to kill us," Pidge said as she drew hey bayard.

"Just try to get the razor from his hand, try not to hurt him," Lance said as he drew his own bayard, and got closer to Keith.

"Hey, hey, we aren't going to hurt you, just drop it, and we can have a talk," Pidge said as she drew closer to Keith. He just growled, baring his teeth, and tried to slash at Pidge.

"I didn't want to have to do this," Lance said as he shot at Keith's hand, and instantly he dropped the razor and whimpered in pain.

"Did you actaull-," Pidge began to ask.

"It's on tranquilize settings. He should be able to move it in a few minutes, but until them, it will feel numb," Lance explained as they both rushed to the dazed boy. Keith recovered quickly and looked at both Paladins with a deathly glare before his eyes returned back to their original color, and he stood weakly before the duo.

"I think that's his feral mode," Pidge said.

"Feral mode?" Lance asked.

"It's in his logs. At least in the description. He goes into 'feral mode' when he thinks he is in danger, and has enough strength to go into it. It is described as rare though, so it shouldn't happen too often," Pidge replied.

"It shouldn't be happening at all," Lance stated as he laid his hand on Keith's shoulder, helping the boy balance his strength.

"Agreed," Pidge said as she disarmed her bayard. As soon as Keith seemed to acknowledge what happened, he started trembling, but bared his neck, to show the rectangular piece of Galra tech on the left side of his neck.

"I think he wants us to push it," Lance stated as he looked at Keith, his eyes starting to tear up.

"I don't think we should, we still don't know what it does," Pidge said as she grabbed the razor from the floor and showed it to Lance. Lance winced as he saw it dripping red from what Keith had been doing to himself.

"Okay, yeah we should find out what it does. But why do you think he was hurting himself like that?" Lance asked as Pidge set the razor down on the bathroom counter and washed her hands, her face paled from touching, and seeing blood.

"We don't know what they were doing to him. He might have been-he-well it wouldn't be surpsing-if he was-," Pidge stammered, not being able to bring herself to say it.

"He was trying to kill himself," Lance sighed as he looked at Keith, who was still baring his neck, trembling in Lance's grip. Lance grasped Keith's head and just laid it on his shoulder, pulling the trembling boy into a hug. Keith flinched at the sudden touch of affection, but leaned his way in, letting his body rest on Lance's taller form.

"He hasn't had much to eat," Pidge commented.

"Hunk made food earlier, so-owww, what the hell!" Lance yelled out as he felt Keith bite his shoulder. He pushed Keith off harshly and sent him flying across the bathroom, Keith tripping against the tub in the room, and falling into the hard bath. Lance looked at Keith remorsely, realizing he reacted too violently.

"You scared the crap out of him dude, why did you do that?" Pidge asked and went over to Keith who just hissed at her.

"He bit me," Lance hissed as he touched the wet spot on his neck, seeing it was pretty deep, and some spots had drawn blood.

"We have to clear this space of weapons, he can't-," Pidge said.

"He is just scared, he isn't a killer, he is just scared. We should take anything he could hurt himself with. I'll tell Coran to come in and treat his cuts, but I don't think he is dangerous," Lance said as he placed his hand over the bite mark, trying to numb the pain.

"Okay, fine. I'll tell Coran, but you need to treat that too," Pidge said as she looked over at Keith. "I'll tell Hunk to bring some food by later, but we should both rest, we will need our energy later to deal with the distress call."

Lance nodded as he looked at Keith, who had scrunched himself up in a ball in the tub. He was mumbling some gibberish to himself.

"He will be okay Lance, his mind is probably a bunch of puddy right now. Who knows what they did to him, he is bound to have some mental disorders. It is best to let him rest after we get all the weapons, let him get adjusted to the place," Pidge said. Lance nodded again as they started cautiously opening up drawers and removing any sharp objects, and chemicals they found Keith could do some damage with.

When they were done, Pidge put it all into an expandable pack she had on her, and they headed towards to door. As they were about to leave, Lance was pulled back ever so slightly and Pidge instinctively flinched back, watching as Keith was gently grasping Lance's hand. 

"What is he?" Pidge said, as she started drawing her bayard. Keith didn't even flinch as the buzzing noise of the bayard filled the room. He just looked at Lance, as if inspecting him. He intertwined his fingers with Lance's on his right hand and squeezed it tight for a couple of seconds. Lance looked at him, trying to stay as still as possible.

Keith let go of his hands and slowly grasped his fingers one by one with his non-tranqualized hand, analyzing them almost. Keith then looked at his own hand and placed his palm against Lance's, and he had almost a moment of realization as he saw how similar they looked. He then seemed to smile and he touched Lance's chest, where his heart was, and then touched his own with his other hand, he smiled wider as he felt Lance's heartbeat in the same place his was.

"I think he is realizing we look like him," Pidge said as she watched Keith inspect Lance, intrigued at how Keith was actually filled with some type of life.

Lance nodded and looked at Keith as he poked at his face. Keith then poked his eye and Lance giggled as he rubbed his eye, pulling away from Keith's touch in slight pain. Instead of laughing along with Lance, Keith bared his neck again, asking him wordlessly to press the button, his form trembling just like it had before, grasping his numb hand in hopes to calm himself down.

"No, Keith it's okay. It didn't hurt that much," Lance said as he touched Keith's shoulder, but pulled away as the boy trembled more.

"Lance, Pidge, we are about to board the planet," Allura's voice chimed through the room speaker. Keith yelped in surprise as he rushed to the bed in the room, hiding within the covers.

"I thought you said it would take at least a few hours for us to reach the planet," Lance responded through his radio.

"Well I lied, get down here," Allura said again, her voice causing Keith to bundle himself deeper in the covers.

"Lance, we will check back on him later, like we said before, but I think we need to get going now," Pidge said as she picked up the bag in her grip with the things they had taken our of the room.

"Okay," Lance sighed as he looked back at Keith, who was staring back at them, the blanket wrapped around him, causing him to look sort of like a nun. Lance smiled at how surpassingly cute he looked but then frowned, cursing himself for thinking that way of someone that had been through so much. 

"We will come back later, Keith," Lance finally said as Pidge exited the room.

"Bye," Lance said as he too walked out with Pidge, leaving Keith alone once again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some Keith POV. I don't condone this, and I am sorry in advance.  
> TW: Mentions of Non/Con sexual activity.  
> Mentions of Self-Harm/Suicide.  
> Lots of explaining, but still not enough.  
> Brackets indicate a flashback, or just something about the past, to help you identify present from past, plus just a good visual for me in general when writing it, so sorry if you hate it.

As soon as the tan-skinned creature left his room, Keith released himself from the covers. He winced as something brushed along his arms, but then his mouth fell into a frown as he looked at them.

He was unsuccessful in ending his imprisonment. He thought since this indeed did not look like the prison he was previously at, they had transferred him, and although the color scheme around him seemed friendly, he could not forget waking up cuffed to something, helpless against the people around him. The tan-skinned creature that has just left his room was the first to approach him, before he realized there were more all around him. He then started bawling, hoping that they would show him some type of mercy.

He could still remember the liquid pouring from his eyes. He didn't know what it was called, but he remembered feeling strange as he never saw anyone else pour the liquid from their eyes at all the prisons he was at. He didn't even entirely understand it. He just knew that it came when he was feeling helpless or sad, which tended to be a lot of the time.

After he felt someone insert a needle into his neck, he could feel the panic rise, within him as he feared what he would be waking up to. Surprisingly, when he woke up, they hadn't hurt him, but as soon as realized that, he started looking around.

No one came after a couple of hours to release him or greet him in this new prison, so he assumed they were putting him in some isolation unit, to do more tests on him. He gave up trying to escape after what seemed a few hours, and returned to the bed he woke up at. He was about to attempt to sleep, when we heard the ship move, and alarms sounds started blaring.

Usually when such sounds were made, it meant there was a big test coming up and there would be lots of pain. Keith looked around and started panicking, he could not endure another test, he had to get out of performing it. He quickly remembered dashing to what seemed to be a much cleaner cleaning facility. It was quite small though, he wondered how all the other prisoners on the ship would get cleaned in such a small bathroom. 

He ignored the fact and looked through drawers, hoping he could find something before they came looking for him, and do yet another set of experiments. He knew it was for the better of his empire, but he hated it. He hated the pain, the big and purple creatures that surrounded him all the time, poking and prodding at him. He hadn't gotten a close look at the people around him when they woke him up, but it didn't matter as they were probably just another type of alien species there to perform some tests on him. 

He smiled as he was able to find a sharp object, he did not know what it was called, but he hoped it would do the job.  He mostly hoped the druids wouldn't catch him this time and heal him back up. He hated when they did that, because not only did it mean he had to endure more torture, but it felt invading and painful on his body as their stupid magic seeped through his wounds and pulled him together again.

He was so close, but his indigo eyes suddenly met with one of his captors. They were dressed in green and yelled something, signaling someone else to come. Keith reacted quickly, knowing that if he failed he would be punished greatly, but he also acknowledged that if he didn't fight he would still face the same end for trying to do harm to himself yet again.

Suddenly, he felt a blur of the next events, he only remembered the tan-skinned creature holding him by his shoulder, as the two things conversed between each other. He then realized how numb his right hand was, and started freaking out a bit. Had they performed their test while they sedated him? Was he going to lose his arm? Were they going to replace it?

As soon as he gained complete consciousness, he started freaking out. He had just disobeyed order, and he had harmed himself without their permission.

He bared his neck to them and he would feel his whole being shake with fright as he awaited the button on his neck to be pushed. Keith knew that it would send a horrific amount of paint throughout his body for a total of ten ticks. His captors pressed it to show him obedience, but by this point, he had grown accustomed to saving them the trouble of forcing him to bare his neck. 

The sooner the pain was over with, the sooner he could recover, so he waited, but no push to the button was made. He stayed in the position, until he felt the creature that was touching his shoulder reel him in. At first he flinched at the sudden movement, but then he froze in shock as he processed they were probably going to suffocate him. He did the only thing he could think of to get their hands off of him, he bit him. It wasn't too hard, but enough that the being sent him flying across the cleaning facility and into what seemed like an oversized bathing chamber.

He thought of moving after he was in the tub, but thought it would save him the pain if he only stayed still. So he stood, curled in a ball in the tub, hoping they wouldn't touch him anymore.

They didn't, but they stayed in his room, taking things and putting them in a bag. It took a while for Keith to understand what they were doing, but he soon realized they were taking weapons away from him. He sighed as he finally took the time to look at his captors. The more he looked at them, the more they reminded him of something.

The way their eyes were shaped, the way their skin wasn't filled with fur, or their hands appeared to only have five fingers. The more he took the time to inspect them, the more something in his mind clicked. They looked an awful lot like...him. They reminded him of something he had lost, not too long ago, his mom.

She had been taken from him because he refused to listen to the scientist. He could still hear her piercing screams in his ears as he recalled what they did to her, just because he wouldn't listen. He didn't want to think about that though, so instead he watched the beings closely now.

He saw that they both walked out of the bathroom, and were about to head out, so he quickly scampered out of the tub, and quietly made his way towards them. They seemed to be distracted, so he took the opportunity to approach the tan-skinned one. They hadn't hurt them, so he assumed that maybe they were friendly, or at least not as abusive as is other captors. He knew it might have been stupid, but he pulled at the creatures hand before he was about to leave. If his theory was right about them being like his mother, he had to know.

So he pulled the creature back, and as he met eyes with what seemed to be something like him, he took the liberty to look at him, and observe him. He took note of how their hands interlocked perfectly, not how his hand was forcefully fitted into a large furry hand of a Galra. He started inspecting the hand as he let it go, as well as he could with his hand that wasn't numb, from whatever had happened.

"I think he is realizing we look like him," he could hear the other being say, but he ignored it as he brought his thin fingers to touch the other's face, it wasn't like he understood what was being said anyways. He took note of how it felt like his own skin, and how soft and kind the features looked compared to what he was used to. He then poked at one of his eyes, and he felt the other pull away and make some type of weird noise. Keith wasn't used to it, and just bared his neck again in instinct, awaiting the awful sensation that his body would endure from the device.

Like last time though, no click came, and no pain was present, instead the same calming voice he heard before.

"No, Keith it's okay. It didn't hurt that much," he heard the creature before him say as he tried to touch Keith, but he felt his hand retreat, probably from how much he was quavering in fear.

He still waited for the pain, but as he was about to pull out of his uncomfortable position, he heard an electronic voice fill the room, and he heard a noise of fear escape his mouth as he ran towards the bed. When he heard an electronic voice, it usually meant more people were coming, and although they seemed friendly, he was not ready to be around more things. This could all be a test for all he would know. Maybe they were seeing how he would react in a false environment, or better yet if he would fall for it.

As he heard the robotic voice again, he bundled himself deeper in the covers, trying to block out the sound, maybe if he was able to ignore the buzzing, he would be able to feel safer here, and then maybe the test would be over. 

That brought Keith to now, where he had stood for at least five minutes in silence, awaiting for the scene to fade from focus, and wake up strapped to a table. But no fading came, and he didn't wake up. He sighed as his head became confused as to what was going on. He thought that maybe when the friendly creatures left, the simulation would stop, and he would again return to the pain of his life, but no, he was still there.

He was still in the lightly decorated place, that seemed somewhat more welcoming than the dark color scheme he was used to. It almost made him wish that he would not be moved. Although it was a rather , different approach at imprisonment, he officially ruled out that this was a simulation, so he wouldn't mind not being transferred somewhere else, where these friendly creatures would probably not be present.

He let himself explore the room, and as he looked around he made his way to the cleaning facility. He managed to find what appeared to be some type of reflecting device. He had seen one before in the Galra prison, and found it quite fascinating how it showed the reflection of what stood before it. It was truly magic in Keith's eyes.

As he looked at his reflection, Keith frowned as he realized how short his hair was now. It was badly cut, and he remembered how it came to be. He had done it to himself actually. 

 **[I** t had been a few days ago, or a few days ago from where he could remember being at his former prison. He had recently been taken out of isolation after a week because he was becoming more defiant ever since the incident with his mother. He had been brought over to a room where he was stripped of his clothes, and chained up from the ceiling.

He shuddered at the memory. He hated the feeling of his arms feeling they were going to pull out of him, and how the floor could be grazed ever so slightly if he stretched far enough. He especially hated the set of tests they did when they had him strung up like this,

They would touch him and grope him in ways he would respond rather strangely too, that it almost felt good. They would then stick multiple needles in him and continue to touch him in the same way, his body responding to the touches more erotically as the drugs intensified. Keith didn't know exactly what they were doing when they did this to him, but he did know that they would stop after some white liquid would stop coming out of his body, leaving him in pain rather than pleasure. 

He remembered as they released him, he managed to break one of their weapons, and he remembered stashing a metal piece of the weapon in the bundled grey shirt he was supplied. They surprisingly, didn't beat him for acting in defiance, but rather chucked him in his cell afterwards, leaving Keith to heave for air. 

He was left alone again in his cell, the walls dark and unfriendly greeting him once more. He weakly managed to sit up and adjust the shirt on him. He grabbed the sharp piece of metal that he got and looked at it intently. He suddenly felt the weird, and warm liquid spill from his eyes as the drugs he was given began to wear off. His crotch area hurt, from being forced to come so many times, and his whole body felt tired from the whole experiment in general.

He hated this, he hated how nothing ever seemed to change, and he hated how he was alone in his cell because they had taken his mother away. They had taken the only thing that actually made it just a bit easier to survive. The thing that would cradle him before he went to sleep, and that would stroke his back lovingly as he came back from tests.

The only reminder of his mother was his long hair, that reached halfway down his chest, and soon enough he learned to hate that too. It just reminded him of her, and how she was no longer there. Keith looked around, and knew that there were cameras watching him, and if he tried to hurt himself, they would come and beat him hard enough, a druid would come. So instead of bringing the metal to his skin, he brought it up to his hair, cutting it sloppily as short as he managed. He watched his hair fall beside him as he finished and he looked at the pieces in complete disgus **t.]**

Keith sighed as he brushed his hand through his hair, taking note that the numb feeling was starting to wear off of his hand. Whatever they had done to him, wasn't as painful as it could have been. He took a deep breath as he looked through the cabinets, looking for something to bandage and clean his wounds with, but he found nothing, instead he found a spare change of clothes, which by the way his were splattered with blood, he thought it would be good to change. He really wanted to actually, but he usually couldn't do things without permission. 

And if this _was_ somehow a test, and there were cameras watching him, he would be punished for acting on his own free will. Seeing as he really didn't want to muster up the courage to ask for permission, he decided his clothes would be fine for now. If there were no cameras, he would just be signaling to an empty room, seeing he could not speak their language, much less speak at all.

Keith hadn't always been mute. He had learned some simple words from his mother, but ever since he turned seven human years, he stopped talking completely, for every time he tried to reject a test or cower in defiance, he would be sent to isolation, where he would stir himself crazy. So he soon found no use in speaking, and seeing as he got to spent less and less time with his mother, and how he mostly tried to block everything out during tests, he didn't really get the opportunity to learn how to communicate verbally.

After he acknowledged the fact that changing would be a bad idea, he stopped trying to look for things to bandage his cuts, as he saw doing that would also anger his captors, and just make them lose their friendly composure they had maintained.

He instead thought it would be best if he just went to sleep, and try to stay asleep for the rest of this experience.

* * *

 He awoke when the ship sounded like it was about to land. He actually fell asleep, and he was surprised he hadn't been woken up to run some more tests or be hurt. He rustled out of the covers and felt something around his arms. He looked at his forearms, as they were wrapped in white bandages and then noted how his clothes had changed as well. 

He frowned, thinking about what else his captors had done to him while he was asleep. He liked the fact that they were kind enough o treat him, but he wished he was at least conscience of all of it happening. His mind wandered off as his nose caught scent of something good. He turned to his side, and saw a plate full of weird looking things. It was very colorful, and it smelled sweet and new.

Keith felt like he was supposed to eat it, he really wanted to, but he had never seen such a thing. The only food he was used to were globs of grey and water. He sometimes was lucky enough to have bread. He took note in his mind that it could also be poisonous and they could be trying to test him right then and there. He sighed, noticing how he was actually drooling as he looked at the plate.

He groaned as he forced himself to look away, his stomach churning in protest. He sat there on the bed for a few more seconds, trying to resist the food, but finally he got so frustrated he grabbed the plate and threw it across the room. Now if he wanted to eat it, he would have to get up and risk eating glass. He soon regretted his rash decision as he felt his stomach growl. 

He was about to try to go back to sleep, but suddenly the door to the room opened and he flinched at the sound. Were they finally here to urt him again? He involuntarily whimpered as he could already feel their harsh grabs and painful claws pry at him in his mind. To his surprise, yet again, that did not happen. Instead the two people that had come in were dressed in red and blue armor. One appeared to be female, and she had strange markings just below the corners on her eyes, and next to her was the tan-skinned creature from before.

For some reason, seeing him gave Keith some relief.

"He seems very stable," he heard the female like creature say as she pointed at the mess Keith had made by throwing his plate across the floor.

"He is just scared," the other one said. Keith tried to hard to register what they could have been saying. It frustrated him how they were just talking and not doing anything to him. He almost wished they came and yanked him out, so his head would stop hurting from trying to decipher their stupid language. That was what he hated most about never being taught how to communicate, not being able to understand. For all he knew, they could be talking about killing him and torturing him, and he would just be sitting there like an idiot.

"Yeah that bite mark tells me just how scared he is. He is dangerous Lance," the female said as she looked at Keith with disgust. It reminded him of how the other prisoners looked at him, and he hated that feeling her eyes made him feel as they judged him. He found himself hissing at her for her to stop.

"You are scaring him," the tan-skinned creature said. 

"All I did was look at him," she responded.

"You need to learn how to put your prejudice aside. Shiro was a prisoner too, and look at him he is leading this team. Why can't you get it through your head that he isn't going to kill you? Look at him, he can barely even get out of his bed. I mean we had to sedate him just to change him and get him some bandages because he would freak out when we touched him," the other explained. Keith groaned as he heard the words, and he sunk into the bed, covering his ears with the sheets as he got tired of hearing the conversation.

After a few ticks, he felt a touch at his shoulder, and he instinctively bit at it, but stopped as he noticed who it was. 

"Hey, how about you set a limit of on injury until the last one heals," the tan-skinned creature said making that weird sound he had made before when he poked his eye.

"Oh sorry, I forget how you don't understand me," he said, and Keith just sat up staring at him, confused. "Okay, um, how do I tell you this, um, well we just made an alliance with a planet," he said, making a circle motion with his hands, Keith just looked at him with the same expression.

"Um, okay, well we are safe now that's all you need to know. We are headed to the Blade of Marmora headquarters, so we will be able to rest for a few weeks," he continued, just rambling at this point. Keith looked at him still, starting to get frustrated by the amount of words he was saying. He would have started screaming or yelling at that point, but he felt somewhat safe around this creature and he didn't want to scare him off, so he suppressed his frustration and just stared blankly at him.

"Well you seem to be getting better Keith," he said as he pointed at him. Keith just looked at himself and then at him, wondering what he could be talking about.

"Oh, see you are Keith," he said as he pointed at him again. "Keith." 

"Lance," he said as he pointed at himself. Keith looked at him. He thought more about what he was being told and concluded that the tanned skinned creature was called a Lance, and that he was a Keith?

"Oh gosh, this is so frustrating, not being able to talk to you," the Lance said. "I just want to help you."

"He isn't hurting you," Keith suddenly heard someone say. He noticed that the female was still in the room. She didn't look like a Lance, and she also didn't seem as friendly and inviting as a Lance, so he felt himself frown as she apraoched him. He could hear the glass pieces on the floor crucnh beneath her.

"You just have to approach him a certain way," the Lance said as he sat on the bed with him. Keith looked at him, and shuddered a bit as he could feel the warmth of the Lance's body close to his. He took the opportunity to inspect the creature once more. He crossed his legs and touched the Lance's hand. He could see the female flinch as she stood next to them beside the bed.

"It's okay, he won't hurt me, he just is trying to figure things out," the Lance spoke, seeming to calm the female as she took a deep breath and nodded.

Keith continued, holding his hand with both of his and pulling at the fingers. He bended them, and then compared the movements to his own fingers. He found it reassuring how similar they were. It reminded him of his mother, and how she seemed to be the only one with similar features like him from where he had been before.

He smiled as he put their palms together like before and intertwined their fingers. The Lance smiled at him as he looked at the female, who was starting to let her guard down.

Keith then let go of his hand and touched his brown hair. He then touched his own hair and noticed they were different textures. The Lance's was soft and his was brittle and coarse, he frowned as he wished his hair was silky like his. Lance made that same weird sound from before as he smiled and touched Keith's hand.

"We should probably put you in a bath again sometime soon," he said and Keith looked at him, not knowing what exactly he was saying, but liked the tone of voice he spoke in, it was much different than the one he was used to. The Lance soon let go of his hand and stood up from the bed.

"You should probably eat first," he heard him say as he looked at the plate on the floor. Keith felt a wave of guilt overcome him as he saw the food and pieces of the plat on the floor. After seeing the Lance, he felt bad for making such a mess. He could fell himself start trembling as he bared his neck to the Lance, awaiting to be punished.

"Are we supposed to press it?" he heard the female say in an inquisitive tone. He sighed, remembering how she did not seem to be satisfied with him and would probably press the button for a long period of time.

"I don't know what it is for, and I'm scared it could hurt him," the Lance said, as he walked around the room. "Don't we have some cleaning robots or something?"

"Yes, actually we do, they should be in storage though because we haven't really needed to use them."

"Well now I think we will be using them a lot," he said as he made that weird noise yet again. Keith concluded it had to be something good because when he did it, he would smile afterwards, so it set him on ease.

"I'll go tell Coran, you should go get him some food," the female said as she started walking out. He could tell the Lance was going to walk out as well, but he felt scared knowing he was going to be alone in the room again.

What if other creatures came and did something to hurt him? What if as soon as he walked out the door, he would suddenly wake up to find that this was all just a cruel dream? So as he saw the Lance walking out he mustered all his brainpower to do something that would get the Lance to stay with him.

As he started exiting Keith managed to squeak out one word,"La-nce, L-ance. Lance!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Overview.  
> Keith had been mute since he was seven.  
> The button on his neck is some sort of device that tortures him depending on how long it is pressed for.  
> He finds out that Lance and Pidge look a lot like him, and gets excited, before it passes through his mind that it could just be another test simulated to him.  
> Everyone time he goes into "feral mode" he gets amnesia and usually forgets anything that happened in "feral mode" (which is a side affect from him being part Galra)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Description of some not so friendly things.  
> Lots of Allura being racist  
> Kind of a filler chapter, but also kind of not.  
> Yeah, it's about to get really disturbing, so I am sorry. (but tbh it is just the beginning and oh gosh poor Keith)
> 
> I am also going to start an (hopefully) consistent uploading time as of next week. It will be at least every Sunday, and random times during weekdays. It just all really depends, but before next week starts, I am going to write as much as possible to have content to upload, so hopefully this story won't die out.

Lance looked at Keith in bewilderment as he spoke.

"Lance," Keith said again, surprising himself as he spoke. He kept repeating his name over and over again in different tones. He almost seemed a little frightened by his own voice that it made Lance smile wider as he turned to look at Keith.

"Lance, we have to get-," Allura spoke as she opened the door slightly to come back for Lance.

"Lance!" Keith yelled, interrupting Allura.

"Did he just-," Allura began to ask as she looked at Keith in amazement.

"Yes, he just spoke," Lance smiled as he came closer to Keith. "Do you want to go get your food with me?" Lance asked as he made a sign trying to indicate eating to Keith. Keith looked at him and nodded as he rubbed his stomach, showing he was hungry.

"Lance we can't just have a prisoner wandering around," Allura interjected their mute conversation.

"I will be watching him. I mean he needs to realize where he is, maybe it will help him calm down," Lance suggested as he sat down back on the bed next to the cross-legged Keith who looked at Allura in confusion. It was obvious he did not yet know how to feel about her.

"He can realize where he is in this room," Allura said as she frowned as she pulled out a device and clicked some buttons on it.

"Allura, he is never going to get better if we don't stop treating him like a prisoner," Lance said.

"A prisoner? That is what he is-was Lance. He is part Galra. Who knows what they taught him to do? Sure, he seems weak now, but who knows what he is capable of?" Allura said as she pointed at Keith, making him hiss at her and grab a pillow from the bed, almost to shield himself from her.

"I think you should see something," Lance said as he got off the bed.

"Lance," Keith said as he looked at Lance, begging for him not to leave. Lance looked at him, almost indecisively as he didn't know what to do. He wanted to show Allura the logs Pidge had found, but he felt almost guilty if he left Keith alone again.

"Pidge got some logs," Lance announced as he sat back down on the bed. "I think you should look at them before you make any assumptions."

"If you think these logs are going to change the fact that he is part Galra, it isn't-," Allura said.

"Just read the logs please," Lance interrupted. He noticed how Keith was looking at them, frustrated. "What if I made sure he didn't cause trouble? I would-," Lance said.

"It is too dangerous, we can't have a prisoner running around, at least not freely," Allura said, an idea popping into her head.

"No, we can't do that to him," Lance said, understanding what she was saying. There was no way he was willingly going to put restraints on him.

"If you want to take him out of this room, you will have to restrain him. I know how much you want to help him, but there is still much to figure out. And since he are going to the Blade of Marmora, we can't have our course delayed because of him," Allura said.

"Okay," was all Lance said as he battled his thoughts. Keith looked at him, still bewildered by all the words being exchanged.

"Do you have some- some...cuffs with you?" Lance finally asked after a couple of ticks of silence. 

"I can go get them from a storage closet, it will take a few ticks," Allura said and Lance nodded as he looked at Keith. The boy just looked at him, he was starting to get worried by his facial expression and he started clawing at the pillow with his hands.

"Here," Allura said as she entered the room once again with the restraints in her hand. They surprisingly looked nothing like the restraints Lance was used to seeing. They were like to white cuff bracelets. "They are magnetic," Allura said as she wrapped a small, thin bracelet around her wrist with a button on it.

"I'm sorry, but I don't want to leave you here alone, and the droids have to come clean up, and I think you will get scared if you see them," Lance apologized as he got the cuffs from Allura and set them down beside him on the bed. Keith eyed him, worried, as he looked at the bracelets and then at Lance. 

Lance sighed as he reached for Keith's hand. Keith shuddered as he was touched, but didn't fight it. Lance continued as he grabbed a cuff and started nearing it to Keith's wrist. As soon as Keith realized that the cuff was supposed to go on him, he looked at Lance, hurt almost. He didn't fight it though, but he looked at Lance, betrayed.

Lance took another deep breath as he opened the cuff and placed Keith's wrist inside of it. Keith winced as the cuff shut close and he looked like he was awaiting some type of pain or shock. But as none came, he let a breath out he seemed to be holding.

By the time Lance managed to put both cuffs on Keith, the boy was surpassingly calm. He was still shaking, but he hadn't tried to hurt Lance or attack him for putting the bracelets on him. Lance reached out his hand, and Allura handed him the remote bracelet, which he wrapped around his own wrist. Keith looked at him and then at Allura. 

"I will only push this button if he seems like he is going to put himself or others in danger," Lance told Allura as he pointed at the button. "But other than that, I don't want to make him walk around like a prisoner.'

"Fair enough, but if anything happens, we are putting him in a hibernation pod," Allura warned and Keith looked at her, noticing her threatening tone, and started to shake more violently. "I'll call the cleaning droids, please don't get yourself killed,"Allura said as she walked out, leaving Lance and Keith alone on the bed.

"Let's go get you some food," Lance announced to Keith as he examined the bracelets around his wrists. Lance was about to help him out of bed, until he looked at the floor and noticed there were still pieces of glass all around. "I guess I will have to carry you, if that's alright with you?" Lanced asked, before he realized he wasn't going to get an answer.

Lanced sighed as he stood up from the bed and held his hand out to Keith, who just looked at it and then put their palms together. Lance chuckled as he looked at the completely clueless Keith. "You have to hold it," Lance instructed as he pulled his hand away and tangled both of his hands together, showing Keith what he needed to do. 

Keith nodded and then when Lance held his hand out the next time, Keith grasped it. Lance took the opportunity to pull Keith in to carry him, but as soon as he started to do so, Keith started shaking and he immediately pulled away, looking at him in horror. 

"Hey, I'm not going to hurt you, it is just so you don't cut yourself with the glass. I promise I will let you walk by yourself as soon as we walk out the door," Lance said, hoping Keith would understand even a little bit of what he was saying. Unfortunately, he didn't and he curled on on himself as Lance tried to grasp him again.

Lance looked around instead for something to get Keith out of bed, but gave up as he saw nothing. 

"Come on, work with me Keith. I won't hurt you," Lance tried again to reassure Keith, but he still looked at him with fear. "Okay, um how about you just get on my back then?" Lance suggested as he turned around and tapped his back, signaling for Keith to climb on him, but Keith just looked at him confused as to what he meant.

"Okay, look you need to eat, and I think it would do you some good if you ate by yourself instead of us having to feed you when we sedate you, so please, look I'm trying to help you," Lance said as he turned around and held out his hand to Keith. "Look I'm like you, I am human," Lance said as Keith looked at him, with less fear and uncurled himself.

"Here," Lance said as he grabbed Keith's hand, ignoring the obvious struggle, and put it to his chest, where Keith could feel his heart beat. After a couple of ticks, Keith looked at Lance like normal, and seemed to untense.

"You see? I am human, and I'm not going to hurt you," Lance said as he tried again to grasp Keith to carry him through the glass debris. At first he was hesitant, and he was trembling a lot, but Keith let himself be cradled, bridal style by Lance, and Lance took the opportunity to quickly rush through the door and across the glass filled floor.

"See? That wasn't so bad," Lance said as the door of Keith's room closed behind them, and Keith started tensing up in his grip. When he realized they were outside his room, he quickly shifted uncontrollably in Lance's grip and caused Lance to drop him.

As Keith got up, he looked around in panic and he was about to turn the hallway, until the cleaning droids came and blocked his path. He panicked even more as the robots came towards him and he curled himself into a ball and looked as if he awaited to be beat.

Lance winced as he thought how his first instinct was to protect himself from being beaten to death. The droids soon, made their way around Keith's curled up composure and proceeded to the room.

"Hey, it's okay, nobody is going to hurt you," Lance said, and he brought himself to sit on the floor beside Keith to try to get him to get up. He frowned as he could hear muffled sobs from Keith as he squeezed himself tighter in a ball.

"Hey it's just me, Lance," he said, and Keith's head bobbed up at the mention of the name. Lance could see his reddened eyes, and his cheeks that were now covered in tears. Keith looked around and he noticed the robots weren't there anymore and held onto himself a little less tight.

"Come on, let's go get you some food," Lance said as he got up and reached down his hand to help Keith up. Keith looked at the hand, and then at his own hand. After he seemed to realize the robots were completely gone, he clasped the hand and allowed himself to be helped up. He rubbed at his eyes and face  with his free hand, wiping his previous tears away. Lance could feel a feeling of joy as he realized Keith was starting to feel safer.

* * *

They made their way to the kitchen without bumping into anyone. Although Keith was on the edge the whole time, and closed his eyes half of the way there, he hadn't had another breakdown, which made Lance's feeling of reassurance stronger.

"Hey Lance-," Hunk greeted as they entered the kitchen, but his eyes widened a bit as he saw Keith.

"Could you try to at least seem a little less shocked?" Lance sarcastically said as he guided Keith to one of the counter table stools. Lance let go of Keith's hand, which he almost forgot Keith had been holding the whole way here.

"Here sit down," Lance said as he patted on the stool next to him. Keith looked at him confused and stood there looking at the stool.

"He looks like he has never seen a stool before," Hunk commented and Keith seemed to officially acknowledge the other person in the room. He started hyperventilating as he ran under the nearest table.

"Can you make something really quickly? Not anything too fancy though," Lance asked Hunk as he got off the stool and rushed to where Keith was huddled beneath a table. He was able to drag Keith out and guide him back to the stool, where Keith finally sat down. He seemed like he was going to make a run for it as soon as Lance settled down beside him, so Lance grabbed his hand to reassure him that he was okay.

"Here you go," Hunk said as he laid a small plate of fruit, milk, and crackers in front of Keith. Keith looked at Hunk instead of the food and his eyes started going wide, squeezing Lance's hand as he stared as Hunk.

"Hunk could you give him your hand?" Lance asked, and Hunk looked at him, confused. "It is to show him you are human," Lance said, and Hunk nodded hesitantly, holding out his hand to Keith, who took note of how much bigger it was. Hunk appeared to get too close and Keith tried to bite at the hand before him.

"Lance, he tried to bite me!" Hunk said, retracting his hand.

"He is just scared," Lance told him. "Human," then said as he pointed at Hunk. Keith looked at him, not fully understanding what he meant.

"Human," Lance said again pointed at Keith, and then at himself.

"Lance," Keith said, almost correcting Lance as he pointed at him. Lance chuckled as he brought their intertwined hands to Keith's face. 

"Human," Lance said again as he signaled at their hands and then at Hunk. Keith looked at him, like as if something clicked and looked at Hunk, letting go of Lance's hand and reaching for Hunk's.

Lance nodded at Hunk, as Hunk hesitantly allowed Keith to hold his big hand with both of his across the counter. Keith analyzed it the same way he had Lance's. After a while he crawled on top of the counter, and hesitantly reached his hand out to Hunk's chest. Lance nodded again, to reassure Hunk to let him, and Hunk stood still, letting Keith search for his heart beat.

When he found it, Keith smiled and retracted his hand, He pointed at Hunk and said, "Human."

Lance smiled as he helped Keith pull back and sit back in his stool.

"He isn't as bad as Allura makes him out to be," Hunk said as he seemed to process everything that just happened.

"Yeah, he really isn't," Lance agreed as he smiled at Keith. "You just have to be a little patient."

* * *

Lance only got Keith to eat the crackers and drink half of the milk. He tried to feed Keith the fruit, but as soon as it made its way into his throat, he made himself throw up, so Lance just decided that crackers and milk would have to do for now.

After he ate, Lance thought it would be a good idea to try to get Keith to bathe. He led Keith back to the big room where he was staying, that had been cleaned up by the cleaning droids, and led him into the large bathroom. 

He turned on the water, but as soon as Keith realized what was going on, he started screaming and tried to bite at Lance yet again to let him go. So eventually Lance decided, that bathing would just have to wait until Keith was calmer. After running away from the bath, Keith had gone back to his bed, and when Lance got close to him, he would scream. 

Lance ignored the piercing screams that filled the room, and continued to try and calm Keith down, but instead Keith bit at him again and hissed at him to leave him alone. After a persistent ten minutes, Lance decided to leave Keith alone, and he would come back later for when he calmed down.

He thought it would be a good idea to let him rest anyways, so he sat in one of the chairs until Keith fell asleep, and then left to the computer room, where of course Pidge was at. Lance was beginning to think she never actually used her own quarters and just lived in there.

"Hey," he greeted as he walked in, and Pidge looked up from her computer, her eyes were red with tears and Lance looked at her with worry. "What is going on?" Lance asked as he rushed up to her in worry.

"How-how, c-can they do t-that to s-someone?" Pidge sobbed her question out.

"What do you mean?" Lance asked, as he looked at her computer screen. He felt like throwing up as he saw the sight.

 **[H** e saw a small child bound to a table, He was gagged by what appeared to be a metal spike ball. It was causing his lips and mouth to drip vibrant red and his eyes were wide and in fear. He was wearing what appeared to be a purple tattered shirt that reached midway down his thigh. His legs were bare and covered in deep gashes and his hair was black and short. He could see that he appeared to be looking at some screen, as his eyes teared up, they were the same indigo color as Keith's and Lance soon made the conclusion that, that could be Keit **h.]**

Lance was glad that Pidge was wearing headphones, or else he would have probably thrown up right then and there is he was able to hear exactly what was going on. He looked at the screen for a couple more seconds before closing the laptop. 

"Pidge, you don't need to be looking at that," Lance finally stammered out as he gathered himself.

"Th-they are h-horrible," Pidge said, as her sobbing calmed down.

Lance just embraced her as she completely calmed down.

'Where did you even get that? I thought there were only logs," Lance finally said when she pulled away from his hug.

"Well-there was a lot more than I thought, and I wasn't able to get all the logs. But just today, as I got a few more, I noticed that there were videos attached to it," Pidge said, looking down at her hands, Lance could see that she was trying to push out the disturbing images.

"How old-how old, was he...in that video?" Lance managed to ask, almost not wanting to know the answer.

"F-four, he was just freaking four," Pidge said as she started tearing up again. Lance could instantly feel the desire to throw up once more and he looked at the floor beneath him.

"Why would they do that?" Lance asked as he kept looking at the floor.

"They were testing what he would be willing to endure for another," Pidge stammered out. Lance didn't talk, but he signaled for her to continue explaining. "They would show him videos of his mom being tortured, and the longer he endured the pain, the less she would be tortured for," Pidge said as she soon looked at Lance with the same feeling of disgust and disturbance.

Lance was about to say something, but he suddenly fell for a loss of words as he imagined the scene in his mind. He didn't know how to respond to that, and he didn't know how Pidge could even function after watching and reading that log. It made him even sicker imaging what else was in that video. 

They stood there for at least five minutes in silence before Lance ran to the nearest waste basket and threw up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Overview,  
> Keith feels a lot safer as he realizes now that Hunk and Lance are what is called a 'human'.  
> He manages to eat a bit, but still refuses to take a bath.
> 
> Pidge finds out that there are not just logs, but videos and pictures attached to logs.  
> Lance walks in on Pidge sobbing while watching one.  
> They learn that one of the test that Keith was put through is one where he has to watch his mother be tortured because he is unable to endure the tests.  
> I am so sorry again, I don't condone this.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions of vomiting (i mean idk if it bothers anyone, but it is there, so be warned)  
> Allura is being racist again, but also somewhat reasonable.  
> Lance gets mad because he has the personality of a Red Paladin and yikes is he passionate.  
> (Comments motivate me more than they should)

_**[P** risoner  **H546-98** was able to survive a week in isolation. He was in poor condition though, and the druids had to heal him up. The subject did not respond well to the feeling of being healed and went into animalistic state once he appeared to be able to fend for himself. He had to be tranquilized and is restrained in his cell until further notice._

_We have discovered so much about the human species already through this test subject. Humans do not pose a threat to the Galran empire, but they could be of great service if they are bred with Galran species. Since this is the first subject that has managed to survive this long, we are working vigorously for we have a time limit in this war. Since its human mother seems to be the only one who is able to care for the child, we have decided to spare her life._

_If she bonds with the child, she may be a great asset in getting the child to do what we want it to. For we hear, that such creatures are bonded to their offspring in a way that presents a great weakness._

_As of now, the only superficial state of the child being Galra is its 'feral mode' where it is able to be stronger and swifter in its movements. We will try to trigger this 'mode' again as the subject wakes up. IF we can learn how to manage it, we might be able to use its DNA to trigger the same affect on our own troops in battle._

_It all depends on the subject though, so until further notice, it would't be safe to mix DNA with the test subject, or any of our troops. We will log more once the child appears to be awake. The files of the isolation time of the child are attached below and we hope to note some valuable observations from whomever views these files. Please report any key observations to your commanding scientis **t.]**_

Lance let go a breath he didn't even know he was holding, as he finished reading the log. It had been a few hours since he had viewed part of the video on the log Pidge was on. She still hadn't come out of her quarters after she left. Shiro even came asking what happened, for she locked herself in, not responding to anyone.

 _'It's the logs'_ was all that Lance could tell him because it was indeed these sadistic and messed up logs. He wasn't going to finish up the ones that Pidge had sent him, the third one to be precise, but he somehow found himself needing to know more, and he din't feel it was right to go and ask Pidge to summarize it for him from the state that she was in.

Lance sighed as he slowly edged his finger to the file attached to the log. He battled reasons to click it. He could click it and see Keith in a horrible state. I mean it couldn't be something other than purely horrifying, as he would be watching how a two year old starts to break down in complete isolation. On the other hand, he might be able t uncover some things that would tell him more about Keith, and help him understand him better. He almost chuckled at the thought of ever being able to understand what he had been through.

I mean he was red to solely be experimented on his whole life, and by the looks of how his prison wasn't well guarded, the experiment lost motivation and had become some type of sick game for the Galra to entertain themselves. Lance could feel his body chill as he thought of how he had found Keith. 

His eyes were closed, and his mouth cut, and dry. His mouth agape as if begging for some type of hydration. He remembered his matted hair that was tangled and a complete mess. But most of all he remembered how he had blood running down his legs, Lance could feel himself shiver at the horrifying picture in his mind, and he quickly tried to block the image out.

He tried ot picture Keith now. He was actually looking better. His clothes were actual articles of clothing, not the lame excuse for clothes that was the filthy grey shirt he was found in, coated his blood splatters and other questionable body fluids. His hair was washed, although starting to get dirty again, at least it wasn't coated with filth like it had before. 

He also seemed to be getting a lot of sleep, the more Lance thought about it the more he realized that Keith had actually slept a lot, and it wouldn't be soon before he started actually sleeping, and not just passing out due to sleep deprivation. He was bound to start having nightmares soon and seeing as he started growing more comfortable with Lance, he would have to be there to deal with it. 

Finally, he made a decision and turned off his computer. He wasn't going to sit through another video of watching Keith in pain. He was about to talk out of the room when Allura came in. 

"OH, hi, Lance," Allura greeted quietly as she hesitantly walked over to the computer next to Lance.

"Hi, I was just heading out," Lance said as he stood there.

"Oh- I was just going to look at those logs you told me about," Allura suddenly said. "I mean ever since you told me I should I wanted to, but after seeing how Pidge has literally not come out of her room from looking at them-," Allura said.

"They are horrible, and they will only make you hate the Galra more," Lance suddenly interjected, knowing she was going to ask to see the for herself. Lance couldn't bring himself to get her to see them anymore after what he saw on Pidge's screen. In good conscience, he couldn't recommend anyone watch those videos or read those horrific logs.

"Yes, I understand that, but-," Allura began to say.

"I can't let you watch them without feeling guilty Allura," Lance said. "You won't like what you read or see, and we don't need more of our team falling apart because of what these logs could do to them."

"Lance, I just feel-," Allura said. "I just feel guilty myself. I judged the boy-Keith, I judged Keith, and now I see that I was wrong. I mean can't you at least help me understand him?"

"Allura-," Lance began to say, he really didn't want to have to explain to her.

"Please, Lance," Allura said. After a moment of silence, Lance nodded solemnly and sat down on one of the couches, Allura sitting on the one perpendicular to him. 

"Well he isn't-wasn't like a normal prisoner we usually see," Lance began to say, trying to find a way to word it.

"I mean he is Galra, so-," Allura said.

"He is part Galra, Allura, and he didn't ask to be that way," Lance said sternly.

"Sorry," Allura apologized as she waited for him to continue.

"He was bred, meaning that the Galra made him. From what I have read, they wanted to know more about humans, and how a human-Galra hybrid would function. They were planning to use him as a weapon, but something went wrong," Lance said.

"What do you mean something went wrong?" Allura asked.

"I don't know what exactly, but they weren't able to use him for what they needed, so instead they have been using him for experiments since I don't know when," Lance said as he let his head fall onto his hands. He hated how this was actually possible.

"So you are saying this boy was made somehow just to be treated like some type of Galran experiment?" Allura asked, and Lance nodded, still holding his face in his hands. He inhaled sharply and looked up at her, leaning back and sitting upright.

"He just-he never has known anything else besides a cell, Allura. He has probably never seen another human other than his mother." Lance said. " I mean he hasn't even seen fruit for goodness sake. He ate it, and thought we were trying to poison him, so he forced himself to throw up," Lance added as he remembered how Keith had desperately stuck his fingers in his mouth, trying to get the fruit from his system.

"Lance, I am so sorry," Allura said, and Lance took note at how her voice cracked and quavered. "I didn't know, and I made assumptions, and -oh my- I, how can the Galra do this? How can they-oh," she said as she started to look angrier than sad.

"I don't know, I honestly don't know. All I know is it gives me motivation to put a stop to this because if they are capable of this, who else knows what they are capable of?" Lance said as he managed to stand up and walk over to his computer.

"What are you doing?" Allura asked, as she too rose from the couch and followed Lance.

"I'm going to search the prison databases," he responded.

"Isn't Pidge already doing that?" Allura asked.

"She opened up the prison database to us, and she is getting his logs for us. I am going to check every other source for information on Keith," he said as he pulled up the last log he was reading.

"You mean, we don't already have his information?" Allura asked, confused as to what Lance meant.

"All we have are his logs and his basic prisoner overview. If I type his prisoner code, then everything relating to him should pop up. It might let us know more about him, and could even show us who his parents could be. It also could show us more to help him. I mean if we can access his medical data, then we can use it to tell the healing pod exactly what to look for," Lance explained.

"Are you sure this is such a good idea, Lance?" Allura found herself asking. Lance stopped what he was doing and looked at her.

"What do you mean, if it's a good idea? This will help us find out more about him," Lance said, getting defensive about the issue.

"Lance, I know what it will do, that's why I am concerned," Allura said, Lance looked at her still, his fingers hovering over the keyboard. "I understand you trying to help him-Keith, but you are starting to invest in him too much. I understand what he went through is more than horrific and terrible-," Allura began to explain.

"Allura, are you listening to yourself? It sounds like you are saying we should just let him go, or drop him off like he is some kind of liability," Lance said, noticing how Allura wasn't stopping him. "You think he is a liability? Allura, how could you-," Lance began to say, his voice rising.

"Lance, I know you think I am horrible for thinking that, but look at us. We are fighting a war, and I would more than love to help Keith, but the universe is depending on us, we can't be taking care of a prisoner and tending to their needs, when we need to be saving every being in it. I am not saying he just abandon him, I am just saying we take him to a place where he will be safe and taken care of," Allura said.

"You are saying exactly that, Allura! What if they are Atlean? I bet you would be fighting everyone on letting him stay if he was liek you!" Lance burst out, turning to face her now.

"That is a whole different matter, Keith is human, there are plenty of humans on Earth that are more than capable of tending to his needs," Allura responded.

"Oh yes, because Earth is going to be very understanding when we drop off someone that is half alien, and has been experimented on since birth. They are going to be so not suspicious when they see how he shouldn't even be alive. What a great idea, Allura," Lance said sarcastically, making large hand gestures as the argument to more heated.

"Well there are other options. He is hurting our team Lance. Look at you and Pidge, you guys are both breaking down from those logs, and you haven't rested properly since he got here. Not to mention how Shiro is not even capable of wandering the halls because every time he sees Keith he starts having a memory. Lance, he is breaking us apart," Allura yelled.

"So what? It's not his fault that he was born to suffer! We can't just turn our back when we can do more than help him. I mean we are Voltron and you are somehow telling me that we are not capable of pulling ourselves together to help one person get their life back on track? What if it were one of us, what if it was Shiro who was broken like him, would you still bring up the 'we can't handle out shit card'?" Lance asked.

"Stop saying what if, this isn't a _'what if'_ situation. He is a prisoner, a _Galran_ scientific prisoner Lance! That is exactly why we can't have him on the ship!"Allura said.

"Oh, so we are back to him being Galra, yeah nice one Allura, like he freaking asked to be Galra, it's not like he had a choice!" Lance yelled and suddenly the doors to the computer room slide open, Hunk and Shiro running in.

"What? What happened?" Allura asked, noticing their troubled faces.

"Keith is gone," Hunk said. Lance could feel his whole body quake. What did they mean he was gone?

"Like he isn't in his room, or-" Lance began to ask, frustrated still from the argument with Allura.

"I went to give him some more food, but he wasn't in his room," Hunk said.

"He probably just got scared," Lance said. "I mean it's not that big of a deal. I'm surprised he hasn't tried to get out by himself before. he is just exploring probably. I'll go find him myself, cause I know everyone else but Pidge and I think he is something other than-" 

"That's not it Lance!" Shiro yelled abruptly, causing Allura and Lance to flinch. "Pidge," he said. "We can't find her either."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Overview.  
> Keith and Pidge are nowhere to be found.  
> Allura thinks it is best if they get rid of Keith and send him somewhere else, but Lance will actually fight her on that, so that's a thing.  
> Pidge was last seen locking herself in her room after seeing that video of Keith.  
> Keith was last seen sleeping in his room alone.  
> "Cliffhangers are fun" - said no reader ever, I'm sorry.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first scheduled upload! Lots of Pidge acting on emotions and the whole team trying to get it together.

'What do you mean you can't find her?" Allura asked. "Can't you find her on the cameras?"

"I was staying outside her room because she wouldn't come out, and then when I finally opened the door she wasn't there. Her computer is gone as well. I went to try to find you, but I only found Shiro," Hunk explained.

"And you somehow think that Keith has something to do with this?" Lance asked defensively.

"I checked everywhere, including Keith's room, but when I went to look, he wasn't there. She could have gone in and he could of attacked her-," Shiro explained.

"This is why nobody is allowed to visit him alone," Allura scolded as she rushed to a computer. "Let me check the cameras."

"We already tried that, and they seem to be blocked," Hunk said.

"Where is Coran?" Allura asked frustrated as she turned to the rest of the team.

"Last, I knew he was checking the ship's operating systems at the lower level," Shiro said.

"Have you checked if Pidge is with him?" Allura asked.

"Yes, of course we did, we wouldn't want to make it a big deal if we hadn't checked everything first," Shiro said. "I knew this was all a bad idea," Shiro muttered quietly.

"What?" Lance asked, but Shiro quieted down. "You mean rescuing a prisoner was a bad idea, oh god please punish us for freeing a helpless prisoner from the wings of a cruel dictatorship," Lance said.

"You know what he means, Lance," Allura said.

"How can you even say that, you were a prisoner too," Lance said to Shiro.

"That's different, I am not part Galra, and I wasn't bred _by_ the Galra," Shiro said.

"Guys! Pidge is nowhere to be seen. If this has anything to do with Keith, we don't know, but fighting about it isn't going to help us find either of them," Hunk declared as he tried to simmer the boiling fight down.

"Hunk's right," Shiro sighed as he looked at Lance.

"Tell Coran to try and get the cameras and security defenses working again, and help him if it makes them work any faster," Shiro ordered Hunk and he nodded as he rushed out of the room. "Allura you go check her quarters and try to find anything that could lead us to her," he added and Allura listened and rushed out.

"Lance-," Shiro began.

"I am going to go find Keith," Lance said, as he looked at Shiro defiantly.

"I know you are, but I am coming with you," Shiro said.

 Lance took a second to look at him before nodding. They both rushed out the door to start their search.

* * *

Pidge had been crying from the video she watched. All she could picture was Keith sprawled out, his limbs restrained and his young, four year old face covered in his own blood and tears.

Pidge shuddered at the thought, just thinking about it made her cringe in pain. How could someone do that to a person, how could they be so vile and cruel to test a four year old like that? Pidge could feel more tears start to erupt from her eyes as she thought about it more.

After a couple of seconds, she could hear people outside her door, they were probably worried about her. But going outside meant having to explain what she saw, or being all suspicious and hiding it like some type of messed up secret, which it was. She didn't want to worry them either way, so she just stayed, curled up in a ball in the corner of her room, alone.

"Pidge, please let me come in," she could hear Shiro say, and she just dug her head deeper into her arms. Pidge could only think of how many memories this could bring up for Shiro. If he ever laid his eyes on those logs, she felt the whole team would just fall apart. He could not only remember things about himself, but things to Matt. And Pidge flinched at the own thought, She pictured her own brother going through the blood coiling, gruesome experiments, ands she almost felt herself throw up. She suddenly felt herself start heaving, and she quickly got up in panic.

"I have to get rid of them, I have to get rid of them," she repeated to herself in a whisper over and over again. Her room had a secret opening that she found out about while scanning the room, so she quickly pushed at a part in the wall, and it opened up, letting her crawl in quickly with her lab equipment. As she exited through the passageway, she looked around. Her chest was still bobbing up and down erratically.

"I can't let them see, I have to get rid of it," Pidge kept repeating to herself. As soon as she got situated she went to her computer equipment and turned off all location services on herself, and shut down the camera security system. She knew if Lance spotted her, he would stop her, and she couldn't have that.

As she looked on her computer, she logged onto one of the cameras in the computer room, logging it on. She heaved as she saw Lance and Allura in there. Lance could have shown Allura everything and they could have already seen everything. Everyone was going to fall apart because of her stupid obsession with wanting to know what happened, with wanting to just be a little closer to her brother.

It was stupid thinking a human-bred prisoner would lead her to any clues about her brother. Instead he has brought nothing but hateful and gore filled sights to Pidge's eyes. Not only that, but Pidge can only imagine what they did to her brother, or if he had been captured again, or what could be happening to him.

When she finally faced that she could not barge into the computer room and just erase everything without Lance noticing. I mean how stupid was it for her to sync up her data with Lance. They had made a stupid pact where both of them had to be in consent to delete the files, and Pidge was not in the right mindset to use her hacking skills to the full potential, or risk her getting caught or doing something stupid to the defenses.

She was just angry. She was angry at Lance for knowing this, and throwing up and just making her feel worse. She is angry that this could have happened to her brother and she was worlds away from him, as he probably stood helpless against his vicious captors. She could feel herself tearing up. She sniffed, and she figured out how she could just get rid of all this.

She had to go see Keith. She was angry at Keith. For bringing this all on her, and the team, for tearing everything apart. For some reason, her anger and her sadness were enough to fill this cruel and longshotted view that this was all Keith's fault. That all their problems were linked to an innocent and tortured being. So she ran, she left her computer and ran as fast as she could to Keith's room. She reached his door and pulled out her bayard, unlocking the door. She had to get answers.

She could see Keith was sleeping, his room dark and peaceful, and she lingered in, the door shutting close behind her, making Keith squirm in bed. She came up to him and waved her bayard, trying to wake him. Keith groaned as his eyes started fluttering open, and he blinked, adjusting to Pidge's stance over him, He rubbed his eyes and whimpered as he tried to slide backwards into the headboard of them bed, his eyes with fear as PIdge held her bayard close to him.

"Shh," Pidge said.

Keith nodded his head violently from side to side as he sat upright, his neck centimeters away from Pidge's bayard.

"Why did you do this to us?" Pidge said, as she held her stance, making Keith start to tear up. "Don't you start crying! You are tearing this whole team apart!"

Keith looked at her with terror as the small bayard blade started inching closer to her neck, he whimpered as he leaned back all the way against the headboard to support himself.

"Don't do that! Stop playing so innocent! You are tearing this team part and you know it! You have to, just look at you!" Pidge yelled out in frustration, her words not making sense anymore and tears started to form at her eyes.

"You shouldn't have given up, you should have fought harder and not given up!" Pidge yelled and Keith looked at her, full on sobbing by now, as he supported himself against the headboard.

"How could you give up on your own brother!-How-how-how can you-just," Pidge yelled out, starting to sob, realizing she wasn't talking about Keith anymore, she retracted her bayard a little, and Keith took the opportunity to move away, but Pidge saw sudden movement and automatically drew her bayard again, the electronic blade stabbing into the button of Keith's neck. Pidge gasped as she moved away her hand and dropped her bayard.

Keith's eyes went wide as the bayard caused the tech to go wild. He started looking like he was having a seizure, and his limbs went numb after a couple of seconds. Pidge sighed as she thought it was over, nearing him, but it started again and again. Her bayard must have caused a malfunction from the overstimulated electricity current.

"Keith! Keith!" Pidge yelled as she tried to hold him still as he spasmed. She caught a glimpse of his eyes and he looked to be in so much pain. There were tears running down his face as he bit his lip during periods of time where his body stopped shaking. Pidge started crying as she saw him in pain, the video coming back into her mind.

"I''m sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Pidge said as she looked around for something to help Keith, anything would work. She sighed as she realized there were sedatives in the supply closet not too far away from here. She ran towards the closet, forgetting to lock the door behind her in panic. She opened the closet and made a mess shuffling through all the supplies, finally finding a sedative she knew worked. She ran as fast as she possibly could back to the room.

She completely ignored the open door and looked around at the dim lit room. Keith was no longer on the bed shaking and trembling in pain. His body wasn't having spasms or going haywire, he wasn't there.

PIdge looked around. "Keith! Keith!" she yelled as she realized what she had done. 

"Shit!" Pidge said as she threw the box with the sedative on the floor harshly. 

"Shit, shit shit shit," she repeated as she started crying.

What had she done?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Overview:  
> Pidge basically hit the button on Keith's neck with her bayard which causes it to go haywire, putting Keith into a bunch of pain.
> 
> Because she put the security systems down, the door doesn't close automatically and Keith runs out, probably in fear because he has just been sent into a prolonged chain of pain.
> 
> Also all these names like "Pidge" and "Shiro" and the word "bayard" are ALWAYS in red when I am typing this out and it is so annoying because I think I have a grammatical mistake, but sike it's just the internet not understanding Voltron names,


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith's aftermath with what Pidge did, but also him after he is found.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not uploading more, but I have been trying to write more for the other book in this "series" and surprisingly writing this book is easier compared to the other one. Anyways, if you haven't checked out the other book, it isn't related to this one "plot wise", meaning that you don't have to read this one to understand it. 
> 
> Also it really helps understand some things in this chapter, and you might get some references made to the other book better.
> 
> Anyways, enjoy and please leave comments on what you think! They motivate me a lot more than you think!

Keith was asleep. He was tucked in his bed and sound asleep. He soon realized he got too comfortable. He relied too much on the kindness of the other humans to last longer, or even last at all.

He learned this as he started to hear faint noises of his room opening. He shoved the noises out, not wanting to get up and face them or sit through a conversation he did not understand, so he tried to stay asleep, and then he heard buzzing.

He recalled it was the same buzzing from the weapons the humans held, so he slightly opened his eyes to see what it was exactly.

As soon as he saw the small human dressed in green with their weapon above him, he could hear a whimper escape his body as he tried to quickly get away and shield himself.

He then realized he had been too trusting. The test were finally going to begin now. He cold feel his being cower into the headboard, as far away as he could get without making sudden movements. He wasn't going to let them experiment on him without some type of resistance. 

He couldn't just go directly back to being a test subject, so he sat there and tried to stay still, as the weapon drew closer to his neck. At least they weren't forcefully grabbing him, so he was a lot calmer until the human made a sound.

"Shh," it said, trying to be calming in some odd way, but it just made Keith back away more. He nodded his head from side to side erratically, just trying to beg for them to hold the test until later, he couldn't take it right now, he needed more time.

"Why did you do this to us?" the creature said. Keith just looked at them in horror, cursing himself for not understanding. He could already feel his eyes start to water. He didn't know what to do or say, and the more they spoke the more confusing and frustrating the situation became. Not to mention, the closer the weapon got to his neck, and he started to panic.

"Don't do that! Stop playing so innocent! You are tearing this team part and you know it! You have to, just look at you!" the green dressed human yelled out. Keith noticed how their eyes were filled with anger, and it was weird. He had never seen that look of anger in someone's eyes.

He usually only saw satisfaction in his pain or his use as a lab object. But never anger, he never saw the emotion up close. Nevertheless, it scared him, a lot more than the looks he was used to, and he could feel tears start to slip from his eyes as he saw the anger rise in the being.

"You shouldn't have given up, you should have fought harder and not given up!" they yelled and Keith looked at them, full on sobbing by now, as he supported himself against the headboard. He couldn't deal with this, it was too much. He didn't understand what he was doing wrong. The human wasn't prying at him to follow them or yelling order like things, they were just yelling in fury, expecting him to answer.

"How could you give up on your own brother!-How-how-how can you-just," they yelled out, starting to sob. Keith looked at them from his tear filled eyes and noticed how they put her guard down for a second. He immediately took the opportunity to finally run away, but as soon as he did he could see the being move and he felt the weapon stab into the button on his neck.

He screamed, but because he learned that screaming usually gave his captors satisfaction in giving him pain, he bit his arm as hard as he could as he felt the pain convulse throughout his being for the first time. His whole body shook at first and he collapsed onto the bed, then it stopped. Keith panted and heaved out air until it started again and he resorted to biting his lip instead.

He could hear muffled yelling probably from the being, but after a while he felt his eardrums ring white noise and the shocks made his whole body seize.

It hurt, it hurt so much, that he felt his voice start to go away after a couple of shocks. He didn't even notice how the being had left for a couple of seconds, until the shocking stopped. He took the opportunity to recover and wait out the next shock. Fortunately, the shocks were less prolonged, and they came less frequently, allowing Keith to catch his breath and muster up little strength to force himself out of the bed.

He immediately fell on the floor, not able to gather enough strength to stand up by himself. So he slowly, but surely crawled as well as he could. His breathing could be heard around him as he occasionally fell out of consciousness for half a second before making it out the opened door of his room.

He had to get away. The beings weren't friendly and they were just like the rest. He had had captors like them before, but just not as nice and convincing. They used tactics to get him to trust them, and then slyly betrayed his trust by doing things like this. How had he been so stupid as to believe that just cause they looked like him they were any different? It was probably even a disguise, they were probably druids like Haggar on the ship he had been on before.

He couldn't ignore how much it hurt though. He thought they were safe, they were something better. He thought Lance was something better, but if he was, how could he let his friend do that to Keith. If he cared, why would he allow for such a painful thing to be done to Keith?

"Keith! Keith!" he could hear voices call, and that forced the little adrenaline rush his body was able to produce burst though him, giving him the motivation to stand up, limping as the tech on his neck occasionally caused him to spazz at any given time, causing him to bump into a wall have to stop and bite his arm to keep quiet.

Nevertheless, he tried. He tried his absolute best to get away, and he started weighing out his options. If he could not find a place to hide, he should be looking for something to hurt himself with. 

He couldn't deal with it. It had been more than a week since the button had even been touched and to have a sudden rush of painful shocks pervade his entire body, made him realize exactly what he was.

He wasn't a human or whatever the creatures had told him. He was a prisoner, an experiment, a whore, and nothing more than someone with no control over their life. Keith processed how he could be so stupid as to think that anything would or could have ever changed.

He had been so blind and idiotic, so hopeful, and for what? To have a buzzing green blade held to his neck, and be stabbed into submission?

He panted as he took a break against a hallway wall. He his head fall forward, his forehead touching the cold surface as he put his arms against the wall. He tried to catch his breath, somehow keep it under control, but every time he got close, his body would be shocked and the process would be ruined. 

Soon enough, a prolonged shock came and he wasn't able to hold himself up, so he fell. He fell hard and brutally to the ground, and he could feel the world starting to blur as his head hit against the floor beneath him. All he remembered before passing out were the white surroundings and the sound of his body trying to control his breathing finally tuning out.

* * *

 When he finally awoke, his whole body was sore. He felt cold and he didn't recognize where he was for a second. It was white, like the rest of the ship he remembered passing out on. 

Okay, so they hadn't transferred him. At least, that is what it looked like. It did however, not look like anything he was used to. He slowly saw up and winced at the pain pervading throughout his body. It hurt, but honestly, he was almost numb to the feeling by now. His senses were starting to kick in.

Every shock, kick, punch, slap, and even stab bore into his mind. The shocks had only been a tad reminder of what he had been through and what he has faced. He could feel himself yawn as he started looking around.

There was nothing around him that seemed familiar. It was just a white room, and he was on a ground level bed with nothing but a coat hanger like thing on the opposite side of where he was laying down. He yawned and as the sleep slipped out of his eyes, he jolted awake and sat up completely. His body ached in protest, but he willed himself to stand up. 

He took note of how his clothes smelled, clean and washed. His hair was also smoother and felt like Lance's. Although, he appreciated being clean, he frowned because he didn't like the idea of anyone doing anything to him while he was unconscious, despite it happening so many times.

Suddenly, the door to the room opened, and he dashed to a corner, realizing there was nothing to hide behind in the room. He cursed internally for not going to at least the bed, that had covers he could have hidden in, but took note of how obvious the lump in the bed would have been to anyone that had walked in.

"Hey," he heard whoever come in say, and he immediately recognized who it was.

It was Lance, he knew it was Lance, but he didn't look up from the curled position he was in at that open, and white corner. He only tucked himself deeper into his knees. He knew he would be greeted by that warm and loving smile, and he didn't want it.

It made everything so confusing, so twisted in meaning. He had been hurt by whomever was with him before. They had shocked him, and all he could remember was the pain and the way their face contorted in an angry manner, How they gritted their teeth in anger and yelled at him as if he had done something wrong, expecting him to answer, making him feel even more idiotic than he already thought he was.

He wanted them to stop. He almost wished for them to just hurt him and stop being so kind, to stop confusing him and associating them with safety to be hurt in return.

"Keith, it's Lance," he said again to the curled Keith. 

"Keith, I know you are scared, but Pidge didn't mean to do that," Lance added as he placed a hand on Keith's shoulder, on top of the white t-shirt he was wearing. Keith didn't flinch instead Lance could hear him make some type of weak and fragile noise as he stuffed his head deeper into his tucked knees and wrapped arms.

"I'm sorry," Lance said as he pulled his hand away and sat in front of Keith on the floor.

"She was just, emotional and she is very sorry," Lance said as he looked at Keith, who was now visibly trembling. 

He was scared and he wanted to just be left alone, and he knew that it wasn't possible. He knew he had no power to tell him to go away, and the more he faced it, the weaker his frame and his body became. He suddenly kept on thinking on what they could possibly do to him.

Would they shock him again? Or worse do that test where they would put that thing in him? The thing that made the weird feeling and white liquid come from him?He could almost feel their hands on him. Furry, purple hands on him. It hurt. He could remember how much it hurt. 

Where he was before, they were growing fond of performing that test now, it seemed to be the only thing they were fond of for a few months. He didn't know what they were testing during it. If it was his screaming? How much pain he endured? Or maybe it was just simply for fun because the main person that ordered for the tests, Varkz, wouldn't be there anymore. 

Keith didn't even notice as arms were enclosing him until he heard Lance speak, breaking his thoughts.

"Keith, I know what she did was horrible, but you are okay now," Lance said as Keith's eyes grew wide from the sudden touch.

He whimpered and immediately pushed at Lance for him to get away from him. His words seemed kind, but he was probably holding him to pick him up or take him somewhere, and he didn't want that, he didn't want to be taken anywhere, or do anything other than stay in the room, alone.

"Keith, I'm not going to hurt you," Lance said and Keith brought his eyes to meet his blue ones and he hated how safe they made him feel. They weren't yellow Galra eyes, they were glowing, or emotionless. They were pouring with love and concern and Keith hated it. How it brought up this weird feeling that made him feel like he should feel thankful for being here, for being on this new prison ship.

"Stop being scared please," Lance said as he pulled all the way back to his sitting position, leaving Keith in his tucked position, staring at him.

Keith wanted so badly to understand him, to know what that kind tone was trying to say to him, but instead he just took a deep breath and touched his face, he surprised himself as he felt his cheek were wet with that weird, warm liquid from his eyes.

"Tears," Lance said as he pointed to Keith's eyes and cheek. 

Keith looked up at him and shied away.

"Those are called tears," Lance said repeated that word, _tears_ , "Tears," he said again pointing to the liquid he had rubbed away from his face.

Keith then processed that the liquid was called tears, and then could feel Lance awaiting for him to repeat the words to him, but he didn't. His throat hurt from screaming before and he knew if he spoke it would cause Lance to smile and look so proud of him somehow. Like as if he was worth something, and he didn't feel worth anything right now, he didn't want to feel like anything right now, he just wanted to be left alone.

If only he would be taught how to tell them that, not like they would listen though.

Keith scoffed in his mind, he knew they would listen, that is what made everything so confusing. If that other creature hadn't shocked him, he wouldn't be questioning everything. If he didn't have to be reminded that he had no power, maybe he would have talked to Lance, and felt the need to thank him somehow for making him feel safe.

But he didn't feel safe anymore, that was the problem. He felt betrayed and confused. He found more tears spill as he acknowledged how much he wanted his mom right now. How much he missed having her to comfort him, the only person that he was sure loved him and wanted to make him feel better. 

"Keith, please I'm sorry," Lance suddenly said as Keith noticed how Lance had tears on his face too. It was enough to pull Keith from his own emotions and make his brain stir with even more confusion. 

Why was Lance crying? Keith knew that tears came only from feelings of sadness? Why was Lance sad? 

"I-I-, shouldn't have l-et you out of my sight. I- kn-ew how much e-everyone would have reacted, and I-," Lance sobbed as he dug his face in his hands, trying to muffle his sobs. 

Keith looked at him and felt even sadder, somehow the sight of someone that had been so kind to him crying, made his heart burn, it made his body shiver in some type of weird pain. He didn't know why, he shouldn't have cared so much about Lance, for all he knew it could all be an act. But something in him made him feel it wasn't.

He had never seen someone else cry, that was the thing. He had seen his mother cry when she was in pain, but that was about it. Keith had never been put in a position where his captors showed him weakness, raw emotion, and that is what made him lower his defenses.

He shifted so he was sitting on his knees and he brought himself close to Lance, slowly doing what Lance was doing to him before, _hugging_ him.

It made Lance look up and flinch, causing Keith to pull away in fright. He awaited some type of hit or slap for being stupid and touching his captor that way, he even bared his neck, to be punished. Lance brought his hand up to his neck and Keith flinched as he awaited for the button to be pressed. Instead he felt Lane's fingers on his skin, and he gasped.

He could feel his fingers on his skin. He could-it couldn't be. He wasn't supposed to feel anything there, the button was supposed to be there, unless, and he immediately shot his own hands to his neck and felt his skin. It was tender and there appeared to be some type of scar or bump where the button had been, _but there was no button._

There was no cold, metal on him anymore and he could feel more tears coming, and he wondered why if he wasn't sad, he was happy. He was relieved, he was almost in shock as his mind processed that there was nothing on his neck anymore. He looked at Lance in question as if asking if it was really what he thought it was, if the button on his neck was no longer there. 

"Yes, Keith it's gone, it's gone forever," Lance said as he chuckled through weak sobs.

Keith was full on sobbing my now as his hands dropped from his neck and around Lance, sobbing into his shoulder. 

"Keith, you are safe now, I won't let anything bad happen to you again," Lance said, and for some reason, it only made Keith sob more. He wasn't sad though, he was happy, something he had forgotten he could feel for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Overview : Keith was found but there is a gap from what Pidge did to him being found.
> 
> Lance is the one that checks on him first and of course he manages to comfort Keith, because what kind of heartless monster do you think I am??
> 
> Also Keith's button got removed, and more unanswered questions are brewing!  
> Also check out my other fic that is basically explaining Keith's life in Galra prison, warning, lots of angst and painful journey for Keith.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge freaks and a decision has to be made for the sake of Keith's life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings : mentions of suicide/rape/kidnapping
> 
> Lots of Lance Angst and lots of pain
> 
> Lots of Pidge not being so smart as well.

Pidge panted as she looked all over the room before full on panicking.

"Shit," she repeated as she processed what had happened.

"Keith! Keith!" she yelled out again hoping she would get some type of answer, she didn't and instead ran out to the hallways.

How had she been so stupid? She had forgotten she had turned off security system and therefore the door would not close automatically.

"Keith please answer!" Pidge yelled out and she stayed quiet for a few moments, only the sound of her erratic breathing being heard.

Suddenly she flinched as she heard a loud thud down what sounded a few hallways, she could hear low buzzing as well. She ran as she processed that the low buzzing was Keith's button spazzing out, her body winced in pain as she ran to where it was coming from, trying to be as quiet so she could identify where it was coming from.

Soon enough, after a few corners, she was able to fully hear the low buzzing and she saw Keith. He was sprawled out on the floor. He was laying on his stomach and every few seconds, his body would spazz, and electricity would crackle from his neck.

"Keith, I'm so, so, so sorry," Pidge repeated as she kneeled down and pulled something out of her suit. It was an expandable pack she had forgotten all about. It was her tech gear. There was bound to be something she could power off the button with.

"I am going to make it stop okay?" Pidge said, almost expecting some type of response.

"Keith, please please forgive me," Pidge said as she finally found something that could break the electrricity circuit.

She took a deep breath and held the tool in both her hands, firmly grasping the handle with both. "I'm sorry," Pidge hissed as she hit the button as hard as she could and it suddenly stopped buzzing, causing Keith's body to go limp.

Pidge sighed in relief as she dropped the tool and looked at Keith. His back would lift up and down, signaling his heavy breathing, his frame was still weak and he was unconscious.

Pidge could feel herself wince as she saw how damp his cheeks were, coated with a layer of tears and sweat. She took note of how his arms had deep gashes that looked like bite marks, as if he had bit himself. It was that that made Pidge start tearing up again. 

"I'm so stupid, I'm such an idiot," she kept repeating as she kneeled next to Keith, and attempted to examine him more.

After a while she looked around and saw where they were. They were in one of the hallways close to the healing pods. If she could pull Keith to there somehow, she could get him cleaned up before anyone would notice something.

Before Lance would notice what she had done, she sighed as she fumbled around in her bag. She didn't find anything to help her carry Keith to a pod, so instead she was going to have to do it herself. 

She didn't know whether to be concerned or grateful at how light Keith was for his age. Although he was bound to be at least two years older than her, she could almost say they weighed the same or even Keith weighed less.

Pidge slowly grabbed him by his underarms and dragged him into the healing pod room. She looked at the watch on her wrist as she slowly set down Keith on the floor. It had been about two hours since she locked herself in her room, and people were bound to notice that they were both missing. 

"Shit," Pidge cursed again as she was able to open one of the pods and put Keith in. She was about to set the settings to the pod when she heard footsteps, and she immediately panicked and lowered the pod, causing it to sink into the floor. She then hid behind a column and tried to steady her breath.

"Pidge!" she could hear Shiro call.

"Why would she be in the healing pod area?" she heard Hunk asked, annoyed.

"Well we have checked everywhere, this is one of the last places we haven't checked," Shiro scoffed as he kept calling out, moving closer to where Pidge was.

"I don't think she would be here, have you even checked Keith's room?" Hunk asked and Shiro's breath hitched up.

Pidge held her breath as Shiro was about to turn to where she was hiding, but then retreated and started running out.

"We are so stupid, she could be wih Keith! Who knows what that Galran could do to her?" Shiro said as he rushed out.

"He isn't that bad," Hunk said to himself and he too went rushing after Shiro.

After Pidge was entirely sure that they were both gone, she came out from hiding and brought Keith's pod up from the ground. 

"Oh, no, no, no," she said as she saw how Keith was again spazzing, the healing pod must had caused another disturbance with the malfunctioning tech. 

She started clicking different procedures to get it to stop, but unfortunately nothing she tried worked and Keith was starting to wake up. As he did so, the healing pod opened and he fell out, landing on his stomach.

"I need to get help, I can't do this by myself," Pidge said as she started panicking, bringing her hands to her forehead and her hair, running them through her light brown locks in frustration.

After she was able to calm herself down a little she managed to catch a glimpse at the fallen Keith and his eyes were open wide, and they were turning that shade of yellow they had turned in the bathroom when she had tried to take the razor from him.

"Keith, Keith, calm down," Pidge then said, her voice quivering.

It didn't help, as his eyes switched from their purple color to the unnatural, glowing yellow. Surprisingly, it was more concerning, even though they indeed look more frightful in their yellow tinge, they still looked scared and terrified, and in so much pain. It was enough pain, that Pidge brought herself to swallow her fear and kneel down next Keith, rubbing circles on his back, as he whimpered in pain.

"I should have just asked for help, I'm so sorry Keith," Pidge said as Keith was too weak to shove her soothing hand away. He just gave into it as his eyes started producing tears and he kept spazzing out.

"H-h-elp," Keith managed to stutter out.

Pidge started crying as she looked around for anything to contact anyone, but because she had been so stupid as to turn off all security measures, she was bound to not be able to contact anyone. Not to mention how no one was going to be able to find her as she had left her communicator and her locater in her room.

"I don't want to do anything because it might hurt you, but I swear someone will find us soon, and they'll know what to do," Pidge tried to reassure him, and almost as if Keith understood what she was saying, he managed to nod up and down as more tears slipped out from his eyes and onto the floor beneath him.

If it wasn't such an alarming and awful situation, Pidge would have payed more mind to the fact that Keith was actually comprehending her words, but because it was indeed a terrible situation, she blocked the thought from her mind.

After a couple of minutes, it seemed to appear the spazzing was becoming less frequent and Keith started breathing slower, his eyes falling tired and stayed at their normal purple color. Along with the calming, the security systems were starting to boot up as well, and as soon as the cameras appeared to come back to life, she heard shouting from down the hall seconds later.

"Keith!" she could hear Lance shout.

"Pidge!" Shiro called out as well as they both entered the room and saw the scene.

"What the hell happened?" Lance asked as he came rushing to Keith's side, whose eyes were now closed. He was about to touch him when he suddenly spazzed and a pained whimper escaped his mouth. "Pidge, what happened?" Lance asked as he looked at her horrified at what he was seeing.

"I-I didn't-, i-t was an acc-accident," Pidge sobbed out as she dug her face into her hands.

"You did this?!" Lance yelled out, his face growing hot in anger.

"Lance, calm down, there has to be a purpose for this. He is dang-," Shiro was about to protect Pidge.

"No, it was my fault. I was-I-I was angry, I-I wasn't thinking, and I, I'm sorry," she sobbed out. "But you need to help him, he's in so much pain, and- and I don't know how to-to help him," she added as she weakly got closer to him, Lance sat up from his sitting position, almost protecting Keith from her.

"Lance, she is just trying to help," Shiro said.

"She's done plenty, look at him! Look how he is spazzing out and shaking and crying," Lance shouted as he pointed at Keith, who was now again unconscious, sweat and tears coating his face, along with his hair that was sticking to his face and neck.

"Lance, you don't even know what happened-," Shiro began to say.

"Okay, so tell me what happened?" Lance asked bitterly. "Did he somehow attack you, did he try to hug you, or I don't know better yet try to speak and you became like everyone else and decided hey, why not torture him?" Lance said.

"Lance!" Shiro yelled in defence as he looked at how Pidge was crying.

"No, Shiro he's right. I was angry at him because he reminded me of Matt, and how- it doesn't matter, it's just I was stupid and I know how stupid I am and how Keith deserved none of this," Pidge explained. "All I want is to help him now though, you have no idea how much pain he is in right now."

"The button on his neck in malfunctioning, and it is causing shocks throughout his whole body," Pidge said as she wiped her tears.

Lance processed the information and looked at Keith, he swept the hair from his neck away to show red, irritated, and blistered the skin around the button was. He winced as he could hear it buzz, causing Keith's whole body to convulse, his hands balling into fists, as he unconsciously tried to endure the pain.

"How do we stop it?" Lance asked after analyzing the situation.

"I don't know, it's too advanced for me to-," Pidge began saying.

"Take it off," Shiro then said.

"What?" Lance asked, shocked at his response.

"Take it off, out, I don't care, but I've seen this kind of thing," Shiro said looking down. "At-well, at the, prison, where I-, at the prison, they had something like that on a collar. The guards, they would make the collars malfunction to the point where the prisoner couldn't stay alive anymore. It's going to kill him if we don't take it out," Shiro said.

"What?!" Lance asked.

"It's already starting to cause infection as it irritates the skin. I've seen it happen, we have to take it out, or it's going to cause heart failure from the shocks, or some type of septic from infection," Shiro said as he finally brought himself to look at Keith, wincing at the sight. 

Before that, he had been so uptight about this prisoner being here. But as he looked at him, pity filled him. He looked so weak. He was supposed to be around Lance's age, but he looked almost the same size as Pidge.

"How are we supposed to take it out? We aren't exactly surgeons!" Lance panicked as he started to put the dots together, looking at how weak Keith was. His eyes were closed, and occasionally you could see him scrunch his face in pain.

"He's going to die, we need to do something!" Lance said as he stood up and started looking around.

"What if-," Pidge began to say. "Nevermind."

"No, don't do that, Keith is going to die if we do nothing, spit it out!" Lance said.

"I could download an Earth medical procedure into one of the healing pods, and with Allura's magic it might just be able to perform surgery to remove the button," Pidge said.

"Might," Lance said.

"It's his only chance," Shiro said.

"Shut up," Lance scoffed as he rubbed his hands on his face.

"Lance-," Shiro began to say.

"Get Allura, just get her, just get everyone," Lance said. Shiro looked at him, "I said go!" Lance yelled and Shiro ran out. "Start downlaoding that procedure," Lance said to Pidge and she rushed to the healing pod computer. 

"Put him in the healing pod, I need to scan him to find one most suitable for him," Pidge said weakly as Lance looked at her, his eyes starting to go puffy.

Lance nodded and picked up Keith, putting him into a pod.

"Lance," Pidge then said as the scanning began. Lance looked at her. "I'm sorry-it's just-," Pidge said and Lance just looked at Keith.

"I know, but it doesn't matter right now, just do everything you can," Lance said and Pidge nodded as she started running through the database.

"I found one, I just need these things from the storage closet, that will act as the surgical tools on Earth. I also need to do some coding on it, it shouldn't take long," Pidge said as she handed Lance a list with different things on it.

"Pidge, in all honestly, do you think this is going to work?" Lance asked.

Pidge sighed, "I don't know Lance, but I don't know I will be able to live with myself if it doesn't so let's just hope it does."

Lance nodded as he rushed out to get the list of things needed.

* * *

"He is dying!" Lance yelled at Allura. Everything was in place, all that was needed was for Allura to use her magic to power such a complicated procedure.

"I know he is Lance! But he is a prisoner, and I can't be performing surgery on him, what if someone comes and attacks us and I can't help form Voltron because I am too busy with a Galran prisoner!" Allura yelled back.

"Allura, I wouldn't ask you if it wasn't dire. He is a freaking human! How do you not understand that! He didn't ask for any of this!" Lance yelled.

"Allura, please," Lance said as tears started pouring from his cheeks.

"You can't let him die," he said and the room fell silent.

"He isn't dangerous," Hunk said as he placed his hand on Lance's shoulder, looking at Allura.

"Shiro?" Allura asked as she looked at Shiro who was looking at Keith.

Shiro nodded, and then Allura's eyes went to Coran.

"It's not ideal situations Princess, but whatever his background is, you have the power to save someone from death," Coran said. "Your father would do the same thing. He wouldn't let an innocent boy die."

Allura processed everyone's words. "What if Zarkon-," she began to ask.

"We will take care of it," Shiro said and Allura gulped and nodded at Pidge as she went over to the control panel where she stood.

"Just tell me what I have to do," Allura said and Pidge smiled.

Lance just looked at her and then at Keith.

"Thank you," Lance said as he and everyone but Pidge and Allura stayed in the room to give them space to concentrate.

* * *

It was about ten minutes until Allura and Pidge finished and everyone had stayed in complete silence for the past four hours. Hunk was asleep, but Lance was wide awake and bouning his leg up and down ad he sat waiting for any news.

"Lance," Shiro finally spoke, and Lance fliched from the sudden sound.

"Yeah?" Lance asked.

"Why do-I know it might sound rude, but why-why do you care so much?" Shiro asked.

Lance winced at the question and sighed. 

"I have- I used to have a brother," he said. He paused almost as if he was debating continuing.

He made up his mind and took another deep breath. "He was five and I was ten," Lance said as his voice started cracking. "He was kidnapped one day when he was walking home," Lance explained and Shiro looked at him pained. 

"They eventually found him naked behind a dumpster, barely alive when I was fifteen and about to leave to study at the Garrison, but by that point they found out he had been... beaten and -r-r-raped, and mentally scarred by his captor," Lance said as he held his head in his hands as he looked down, his eyes forming tears.

"We tried to help him, but he wouldn't let me touch him or talk to him. He was so scared of me, of me, his own brother," Lance said.

"Lance, I'm so sorry," Shiro said.

"He commited suicide after four months of being home, at eleven years old. I found him, he swallowed a whole bottle of pills, and he-he wasn't breathing-" Lance said. "And I couldn't-I couldn't do anything about it-I couldn't, I tried and I couldn't," Lance squeaked out. "He was just-I couldn't do anything for him."

Suddenly, he could feel Shiro's arms wrap around him and he openly sobbed into his shoulder.

"That's why-it's why, I can't watch someone like Keith give up, I can't-he, he has to survive-he has to get better," Lance sobbed. "He-he can't just die, he has-has to get better."

"He didn't ask for any of this, none of it was his fault. It's never their fault," Lance said as he pulled away and wiped his tears. "They think it's their fault, that they will never be happy or have some type of control over their life. They don't know any different. He didn't know any different," Lance said as he fidgeted with his hands. "He never knew any different."

"Lance, we are going to help him," Shiro said as he placed a hand on Lance's shoulder. He just nodded silently in response.

"Did-did they ever-catch the person who did it?" Shiro asked.

"He got into a bar fight and someone recognized him, he commited-he killed himself a few days after being reported," Lance said. Shiro looked at him with more pity.

"Lance, I'm so sorry," Shiro said and Lance just looked at his hands, trying to stop picturing his brother, lifeless in his arms, and his piercing screams as he yelled for help. After a couple of seconds Pidge walked in and Shiro and Lance both looked up.

"He's in recovery in one of the extra smaller room close to our rooms so we can look over him easier, everything went smoothly," Pidge walked into the room where everyone was waving, she had a look of concern as she saw Lance, but Shiro just nodded telling her not to ask.

"He should be awake in thirty minutes, if you want to see him now, it is fine too," Pidge said.

"And Allura?" Shiro asked.

"She is resting," Pidge said and Shiro nodded, nudging Hunk awake.

Before any other formalities could be said though, Lance was out of the door and into the room Pidge had informed him of.

He entered the room and saw Keith, his neck bandaged and some weird glowing thing in his wrist.

"It's like an IV," Pidge said, making Lance flinch.

Lance nodded and went to his bedside.

"So it's gone," Lance said. 

"Yeah," Pidge said.

"What was it for exactly?" Lance asked.

"I think I read about something describing it in the logs. They mention some type of, obedience device," Pidge said and Lance scowled. He hated how anyone could ever do that to someone else, force them into submission.

"Was it hard?" Lance asked. "To take it out?"

"Well it wasn't just a button, there were wires connected to it that went all throughout his body," Pidge explained. 

"What do you mean?" Lance asked as he went over to Keith and made small circles on his pale, frail hand.

"That it wasn't just a shock collar thing, they made sure it would hurt everywhere. There were wires all over his body, like everywhere Lance, it's so sick and sadistic. It's the reason we took so long and Allura is so tired. It would have been impossible to take everything out without her magic," Pidge said, avoiding details.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry, it's just-," Lance said.

"Don't worry about it, it's the least I can do after-," Pidge gulped.

"It doesn't matter anymore, he is okay now," Lance said as he looked at Keith's face, it looked peaceful and calm compared to his composure before. it brought some peace to Lance, that he was helping at least somewhat. 

He ruffled his hair and took note of how soft it was. How the black locks seemed to easily slip through his hands. He felt himself smiling as Keith almost leaned into the touch.

"Did you bathe him?" Lance asked and Pidge nodded.

"It was necessary to sanitize the scars and stitches," Pidge said.

Lance hummed and he brought his hand back down to Keith's hand and continued carresing it.

"He's going to be okay," Pidge said and Lance thought about what she was saying.

"I hope so," Lance said. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith no longer has to button, and the whole process of removing it is explained.
> 
> Some light is shed on why Lance is so protective of Keith and why he is so devoted to helping him get better.
> 
> Shiro starts being more comfortable around Keith, and Allura still has some prejudice to get over.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings : Graphic Rape Log, Keith Angst, Violence.  
> Shiro is becoming a dad to Keith and takes the times to try and understand Keith.  
> Pidge is still at ends with Keith and he has yet to get used to everyone, causing his bond with Lance to become even more dependent.

Keith was in the dining hall with Lance. He was going to try to eat again ever since his surgery. 

"You want this one or this one?" Lance asked as he held up two plates, both with green goop in them. "Green goop, or green goop?" Lance asked again, smiling as Keith pointed to the one in his right hand.

"Green goop, great choice," Lance teased as he set the plate down in front of him, placing a spoon to the side of it as he stood up across from Keith on the countertop they were eating at. Keith looked at the goop and gulped. He hadn't had actual food voluntarily for a week. He looked over at Lance, who was already taking spoonfuls of the goop with the same utensil he had given Keith.

Apparently, it was called a _spoon_ , but Keith had never used one. He didn't really need it as he was just given bread or some mush to eat with his hands at the prisons he had been at. 

So instead of eating, he swung his legs a bit from the stool he was sitting on, as soon as he looked up though he could feel Lance's eyes on him as he frowned.

"Keith, you have to eat," Lance said. He knew that tone, it was the tone Lance used when he did something wrong or when he was concerned for him.

 _Concerned for him_ , the concept was still relatively new and alarming to Keith. He had never had anyone be concerned for him, except his mom, and he had at least not been with her for months since he was rescued. 

"Here," Lance said, picking up Keith's spoon and grabbing some goop with it. "I still don't understand why you'd rather eat this than some actual fruit, but oh well who am I to judge, am I right?" Lance said, making that weird noise after,  _laughter_ Keith had learned, at the end of his sentence.

"Open," Lance said and Keith winced at the word. It reminded him of what the guards around him would say when they wanted to stick the weird long part of them in his mouth. Either way, he opened his mouth a bit and Lance fed him. As soon as the spoon went inside his mouth though, Keith choked, the feeling of actual food in his mouth bringing about bad memories of his time in prison. 

It made him so disgusted that he turned pale, and he held his hands over his mouth, trying to keep himself from throwing up. 

"Keith," Lance said as he put the spoon back on Keith's plate and waited for Keith to look up at him.

"Are you okay?" Lance asked and Keith looked at him. "Good?" Lance asked, making a happy expression, "Or bad?" he asked making a sick expression acting as if he was throwing up.

"Bad," Keith said as he looked down at the green goop. 

"You have to eat though, I know it doesn't taste good, but you have to if you won't have any of the other foods we have here," Lance said. "But I guess we can try solids later or tomorrow," Lance sighed as he put Keith's plate in the fridge and his own, finished plate in the sink.

Suddenly, the kitchen door flew open and Pidge walked in, looking tired. Her hair was still a mess and she went directly to what looked like a coffee dispenser. "You know what I like about being in space, it's this coffee thing like it keeps you awake for so long-," Pidge said and then noticed that Keith was staring at her, frightened.

It had only been six days since the surgery, and it was one of the two times he had had to confront her or see her in person.

"Oh-sorry I didn't know you were in here with him-I, I will just come back later for the coffee," Pidge said as she started walking out.

 "Pidge," Lance said and Pidge turned, they were right next to the closed door, and Keith just averted his gaze to the countertop, ignoring Pidge as best as he possibly could, "Uh-have you have gotten any more of those logs?" Lance asked and Pidge solemnly nodded.

"Lance, we shouldn't read them-," Pidge said and Lance frowned.

"We have to find out more," Lance interrupted.

"Lance, sometimes ignorance is bliss," Pidge warned and Lance frowned again.

"Pidge," Lance said as he pulled Pidge right outside of the room, leaving Keith inside the kitchen by himself, with the door open of course. "Just like you wish you knew everything about Matt, this is the same thing, I need to know about Keith, I need to know okay?" Lance said.

PIdge sighed as she looked at Lance and then looked down, "I have them, but I don't think you should watch them."

"Have you?" Lance asked.

"I-I, they are not in order anymore, the security crash caused random ones to appear and other ones to disappear," Pidge said. "It's bad Lance, and I don't know what connection you are forming with Keith, but you don't want to see him like that, to look at him like that," Pidge said, almost begging Lance to not look at them.

"That bad?" Lance asked and Pidge nodded. He sighed as he looked at Pidge and then looked back at Keith, who was twirling his strands of hair and picking at his scabs, almost examining them.

"I have to see them, I have to help him," Lance said and Pidge sighed again.

"I'll upload them to the computer room, but Lance please don't watch them alone, or all at once, or read them all at once," Pidge said. "I wish you wouldn't even look at them at all-," Pidge said.

"I have to," Lance cut her off.

"You don't, you owe him nothing, you don't owe him _this_ at least," Pidge said, choosing her words carefully.

"You don't understand, what if it was Matt? What-," Lance said.

"If it were Matt, I know he wouldn't want me to see him in that way, he wouldn't want to be weak, or have to feel ashamed," Pidge explained. "It's different-just-don't bring my brother into this," Pidge said.

"I'm sorry," Lance said and Pidge nodded. "It's just-it's complicated-I, I just want to help and he won't talk to me, I can't help him if I don't know what they did to him to make him this way," Lance tried to reason.

"He was tortured, captured, and bred to be an experiment, that's all you need to know, don't do this to yourself," Pidge said. "I know you care about him, but you can't tell yourself you owe it to him, you had nothing to do with it," Pidge said. 

"Pidge-I," Lance began to say.

"You need to know, I know," Pidge finished his sentence as she turned to look at Keith who immediately turned his eyes away from them and pretended he wasn't looking at her.

"He will get over it," Lance said as he noticed the troubled look on Pidge's face as she noticed Keith turn away.

"I hope so," Pidge said. "Anyways, I'm going to go shower, please don't hurt yourself too much," Pidge said as she exited.

Lance took a deep breath and turned to look at Keith, who was running his fingers over the scar on his neck.

"Don't touch it, you might hurt yourself," Lance said and he went over to Keith, taking his hand off of his neck.

"Bad," Keith said as he pointed at his scar, indicating it hurt.

"Do you want some cream?" Lance asked as he reached in the fridge, pulling out the cream that Pidge had made, it was supposed to help with the pain, and also reduce the severity of the scar, so Keith wouldn't have to look at a huge and deep scar on his neck his whole life.

Keith nodded as he heard the word cream, he knew it meant the medicine that would help it go away.

"Do you want me to put it on?" Lance asked pointing at himself, "Or do you?" Lance asked, pointing at Keith.

Keith pointed at Lance and Lance could feel himself smile and even stand a little taller with pride. He slowly walked over to Keith and moved his hair off of his neck, and tilting his head so that his neck was exposed.

"Just do something if I am hurting you," Lance said, even though Keith could only understand parts.

He began by squirting some of the clear cream into his hand, feeling the coldness of it on his hands. He then placed it on Keith's neck and he could feel Keith flinch as the cold cream made contact with his neck.

It hadn't been the first time he had to apply the cream, but it still caught him off guard every time. It also hadn't been the first time that Lance had applied the cream. The first time, he had had to be sedated due to him not letting anyone touch him, but after a while, he let Lance apply it and even applied it himself.

Something about Lance brought him comfort though, the fact that Lance cared about him, or at least he _thought_ he cared about him, made him feel good. It made him feel something weird as well, like something he felt about his mother but _intensified_. He thought his mother called it _love_.

Keith found himself smiling as he thought of his mom, how she used to say "I love you". He frowned as he realized he had almost forgotten what those words meant by the last few months without her, or without anyone to care enough to tell him that or even bother telling him anything at all.

His mind drifted back to the Galran ship. How everything was so different, how everything there looked so sad and lonely, and how here, the walls and the people were so friendly. The walls weren't black, the rooms weren't dim, and although some of the people here were still driving him on the edge, they weren't as cruel as they were back there.

They didn't touch him like they did or hurt him like they did. They didn't laugh as he cried or beat him when he whined or whimpered. They seemed to be nice, friendly even, and Lance, well Lance felt safe.

He felt oddly _very_ safe with Lance, and he didn't know why. Just the way Lance looked at him made him feel like maybe this was real, maybe he would stay here forever and he wouldn't have to ever be in a dark, dim lit, purple, room again.

"Hey, you okay?" Lance asked and Keith was pulled out of his thoughts.

"Okay?" Lance asked, giving a thumbs up.

Keith nodded as he looked at the gesture Lance was making, he had learned that was good or okay. And he was okay right now. He wasn't shaking and the cream helped with the soreness of the still healing scar on his neck.

"I'm going to go to the computer lab, you can come and play a game or something, maybe watch something," Lance said. "Or just nap, whatever you want," Lance added and Keith looked at him, confused by the number of words he was saying.

"I'm going to go, you can come and-," Lance began to say but then just shook his head and said," You know, I'm just going to go, and you can follow if you want." But of course, Lance knew Keith would follow him anyways because he still didn't fully understand what Lance was saying.

After a few turns and hallways, they made it into the computer lab, where Shiro was sitting at one of the couches with a holographic tablet and a mug, looking at something, _reading_ something. His face looked a bit pale and his hand was shaking as he brought the mug to his mouth.

"Hi," Lance said and Shiro shook as he choked on his drink, putting it down and coughing. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," Lance apologized and Keith clung to his shoulders, hiding behind Lance's back as he heard Shiro coughing.

"Looks like you aren't the only one who scared someone," Shiro said as he recovered and turned to look at Keith.

"Oh, huh, yeah," Lance chuckled as he patted his shoulder with Keith's right hand on it, comforting him, and trying to show him that he had nothing to be scared of.

"So what are you doing here?" Shiro asked, trying to talk about something other than the already abused subject, Keith.

"Actually probably the same thing you are doing," Lance said, bringing back the conversation to Keith, yet again.

"How do you-what do you, your," Shiro stuttered.

"I know that look and that tremor," Lance said as he pointed at Shiro, causing Keith the grip on his shoulders tighter, thinking he was going to move away.

"I just started reading them," Shiro said. "I don't think I can get past this one and keep my sanity. I think I will have to stop after this one," he added as he shut the holographic tablet off.

Lance nodded and hummed as he went to get a tablet, causing Keith to stand with his arms crossed awkwardly around his lean body as he looked at Lance and Shiro, nervously biting his lip. It only took a few seconds but Lance turned on the tablet for Keith and gave him some headphones. 

Keith took both things quickly and went to a bean bag in the corner of the room, wrapping himself in the blanket that was already there. The first time Lance had come in the computer room with him, he refused to sit where everyone else sat, so Lance dragged one of the bean bag chairs to that corner, giving Keith his own space to himself, something that made Keith feel a lot more comfortable when he had to go places with Lance.

When he got situated, Keith put on the Bluetooth headphones, turning on some piano music, and then swiping through the tablet, finding his favorite app. It was a learning app, where he would learn how to speak what everyone else spoke, _English_ , as he had learned. But sometimes he became a bit frustrated with it, and he would just play a coloring game, it made him feel relaxed somehow, and made him happy as he saw colors he hadn't even seen before. There was only a limited palette of colors when you lived in Galran prisons your whole life.

"He is getting better," Shiro said when he was sure Keith could no longer hear him.

"You think?" Lance asked as he picked a tablet up himself and a pair of Bluetooth earbuds.

"I mean he isn't as frightened anymore. Before, he wouldn't even be able to walk into this room or much less stay in it without screaming or crying," Shiro pointed out as he started putting away his tablet.

"Valid point," Lance said, as he scrolled, finding the logs Pidge had mentioned.

"Lance, are you sure it's a good idea?" Shiro asked as he picked up his mug and sat on the couch where Lance was, where he could see Keith sitting diagonally across from him, in the corner, clicking away at the tablet.

"I thought you said it was. I mean Keith isn't-," Lance began to say.

"No, I don't mean Keith being here. I mean you looking at these logs," Shiro asked as he set his mug down on the end table to his right.

"You mean because of what I told you?" Lance said, almost irritated.

"Well-yes. I mean don't you think it will bring up feelings. I mean like you don't have to know what happened. You know the basics, which is what matters, you don't need to read them, it's just going to make things worse," Shiro said, trying to sound as convincing as possible.

"If you had the opportunity to find out exactly what happened in order to help someone, wouldn't you?" Lance asked.

"Yes, but not at the cost of my own sanity because if I'm not sane, I can't help the person that I am trying to help," Shiro responded.

Lance looked like he was seriously processing what Shiro said, "I have to."

Shiro sighed, looking like he was about to say something, but decided against it. He just picked up his coffee and grabbed one of the earbuds and put it in his ear.

"Well, you don't have to do it alone," Shiro said as he took a deep breath.

"You don't have to," Lance said. "I know what type of memories this brings back."

"Same goes to you," Shiro said and Lance smiled at Shiro's comment, rolling his eyes as he pulled up the next log available. it was a video, and he sighed.

He looked over at Shiro and he nodded, so he pressed play and braced himself.

The screen went from black to show a much older Keith than what Lance had previously seen. He looked to be about the same as he was right now, just with longer hair, and Lance winced. It was too real for a second as he looked up at saw the same matured face at the corner of the room that was in the video.

 **[K** eith was shackled, his wrists locked behind his back. He was wearing the same long grey short-sleeved shirt Lance had found him in. The sleeves were so big though that they reached his elbows. There were two other Galra in the room. Both of them were unfamiliar to him, and he had not seen them in other videos, they looked like guards though. Which was weird because they usually weren't there without some higher supervisor.

He looked at Keith closer, and he noticed how he was gagged with what looked like a ball gag, but it was shaped like a cube and the straps that were holding it in place looked to have little dull spikes that were digging into his cheeks. 

"Such a good boy," one of the Galran spoke and it made Lance flinch. He wasn't used to the way they were speaking to him. The last video he had watched, Keith looked to be about four and the experiments looked much more official and clean. 

This one though, looked very informal and he wasn't in his usual experimental cell, and the Galran that always seemed to be there giving scientific orders wasn't there either.

"Aw, are you scared?" Lance could hear the other Galra of the two ask Keith as he gripped Keith's jaw, it was enough to cause a shiver of pain throughout Lance's body as he wanted to scream at the Galra to stop, he felt he knew where this was going.

His thoughts were confirmed as the Galra gripping his jaw reached under the bottom of Keith's shirt and started stroking him, causing Keith to writhe and squirm. The other guard came quickly to them and went behind him, holding his shoulders, to hold him in place.

Keith's muffled protests were enough to break Lance right then and there. Lance didn't even look at Shiro, because he knew he wouldn't be able to bring himself to look back at the video if he looked away.

"You would think you would be used to this, after the things they put you through," the guard stroking Keith said as he started sucking on Keith's neck, pulling the hem of his big shirt, exposing his shoulder, which was layered in bruises and what looked like bite marks.

The other guard, behind Keith, started sliding his hands under Keith's shirt, exposing that Keith had no type of pants or underwear under the shirt. He began stroking his butt and Lance felt himself turn pale. He couldn't even imagine what Shiro looked like as he felt him tense up next to him.

Keith soon began to cry in the video as the guard unlocked the cuffs around his wrists to allow him more room to grope Keith. The small boy immediately tried to try to fight them off of him, but because they were so big compared to him, they wouldn't budge no matter how hard he tried.

"Stay still!" the Galran in the front thundered as he squeezed Keith's member, threatening him, and Keith stopped moving and started crying more uncontrollably. He brought his hands up to his mouth to try to calm himself down, but nothing seemed to work.

Suddenly, the guard from behind started pulling off the shirt he was wearing and Keith didn't even fight them, he just stood limply, his legs giving out as he kept on sobbing. The two guards had to support him to make sure he didn't fall, but it was no difficult task, as they were both huge in comparison to him.

"That's more like it," one of them said as he grabbed a bunch of Keith's hair and pulled at it to the point where Keith's head pulled violently back, causing a high pitched scream from the teen. The screaming got louder as the guard in the front pinched his nipples and dug his nails into his now bare chest.

"Humans make such intoxicating sounds," the guard at the back said as he started slipping his finger in between Keith's ass cheeks and that was enough to cause Keith to come back to life and scoot away from his touch, causing his groin to lean closer into the other Galran's touch.

"Oh looks like he wants more attention here first," the Galran in the front chuckled wickedly as he started jerking Keith off, only causing Keith to scream more, his voice starting to fade. The guard then proceeded to go on his knees and take Keith into his mouth, causing Keith's eyes to widen and his hands to push as hard as they could away from him.

That caused the guard to take his wrists with one of his and he smiled against Keith. "Such a slut," the other one said. "No one could ever love a slut like you, if only you understood me," he added as he pulled at Keith's hair again.

"He's so hard," the same guard said, looking at Keith from the front. Keith seemed to not be paying attention to him until he grabbed his hips and started to slightly start bending him over and spreading his legs out forcefully. Keith just shook his head from side to side and he screamed and clawed at both of them.

The guard in the back undid the gag around his mouth and there were dark bruises forming from the dull spikes of the straps across his cheeks. As soon as the gag was undone, Keith bit his lip to force his mouth close. The Galran then pinched his nose, causing Keith to open his mouth releasing a moan.

"Don't know how your mother could have ever loved such a whore like you," he said. "You should be glad she isn't here to see the disgrace you became." Keith flinched at the words even if he didn't understand all of them, they made him feel dirty and ashamed. 

He didn't want to make those noises, they just happened, and he couldn't stop them. He knew those sounds would only get them to keep going, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't hold them back. But it didn't mean he didn't try. He repeatedly tried to hold his mouth closed, but then the guard took all of him in his mouth.

"Come on, beautiful," the guard in the back said as Keith was unable to hold back a moan from the blowjob. At the same time, the one in the back stuck his big and furry fingers in Keith's mouth, causing Keith to gag and choke around them, crying even more as he lost strength to fight back.

Within the next second, Keith climaxed and he let out another moan, turning red in shame as he cried harder. The guard in the front didn't stop though, instead, he continued and the other started prodding in between his butt cheek **s.-]**

"I can't," Lance choked as he turned off the video and realized he was crying as he pulled out the earbud from his left ear. He noticed that Shiro was completely pale next to him and he was shaking as he stared at Keith. He looked to be zoned out for at least a minute before Lance spoke.

It took a couple of seconds for Keith to feel their eyes on him, and he looked up from the tablet, the blanket still covering his lower half. He took off his headphones as he looked at how Shiro and Lance were looking at him. They looked so numb and blank. It made Keith think he did something wrong. Maybe he had been too loud when trying to practice a word, or maybe he had used up all the time on the tablet.

He didn't know what he did wrong, and it started to worry him how Lance shot up and walked over to him. First, he just stared at Keith, making him look down in fear that Lance was mad at him, but instead, he felt Lance hugging him.

He thought it was weird since Lance hugged him when he was feeling sad or when Keith was hurt, not just out of nowhere. He didn't fight it though and instead, his eyes just widened.

"I'm so sorry Keith," Lance said.

Soon he felt another set of arms envelope him, they were much stronger and bigger and Keith winced at the sudden new touch.

After a while though, we got used to it and when he was let go, he looked at Lance and who appeared to be Shiro looking down on him as he sat, still curled up in the red blanket that Lance had given him. He took note of how puffy their eyes were and the look in them. They had the same look Lance had when bad things happened to Keith, but it confused him.

Nothing bad had happened to him recently, so there was no need for the look or a hug. 

Almost as if Lance could read Keith's mind, he crouched down so his eyes were level to Keith's and he brought their foreheads together, causing Keith to flinch from the sudden proximity.

"Lance?" Keith questioned and suddenly tears started slowly streaming from his eyes.

"It isn't your fault," Lance said as he brought Keith to his feet and hugged him once again. "Keith," Lance said.

"I love you, I love you so much, and you need to know that," Lance sobbed out. "Y-you need to know that someone cares a-about you and t-that you are l-love," Lance said.

Keith hummed in question as his eyes widened at the words.

"Love?" Keith said in confusion, not believing what he heard.

"Yes, Keith I love you, I care about you, and I am going to do whatever possible to help you," Lance said and Keith hugged him tightly with every fiber of his being.

Keith let his head rest as he fawned over the word, it reminded him oh his mom and made him think that maybe this person, Lance, was more than just another person, he was special, he loved him. He loved him even after knowing about him, seeing him starved and beaten, dealing with the aftermath of Keith's actions.

He loved him, and before then Keith thought that he was going to forget what love felt like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is revealed...  
> Keith was sexually abused, but it seems to not be an experiment type situation.  
> Pidge is opposed the logs and doesn't know of Lance's reasons for "needing" to see them.  
> Shiro has PTSD towards his time as a prisoner (like duh)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW :  
> talk of suicide / implied attempt  
> mentions of violence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for not updating last week but just a lot of things have been accumulating in my daily life, and it was hard to fit writing into it, and I didn't want to give out a filler type of chapter just for the sake of updating, so sorry about that.
> 
> Here though is a rather long chapter, so hope it makes up for the wait, and I downloaded a grammar tool, so less grammar mistakes will be made (hopefully) but yeah, enjoy.

"I told you not to watch it!" Pidge yelled as Lance was sitting with his back leaning against the bathroom door, where Keith was bathing. His face was in his hands, frustration spread throughout his whole figure. It had been a few hours since watching the last log, and he was having a hard time recovering. After he had a mental breakdown in front of Keith, he had managed to get it together and take a nap, leaving Keith to his own demise for a while.

It didn't take long for Keith to go looking for him though, requesting to take a shower. Lance was still in a state of shock, his sleep bringing memories of his brother, but he got up anyway and started up a shower for Keith. If he wasn't so groggy from his nap and his sobbing, he might have paid more attention to the way Keith was acting, reserved and paranoid.

"Hey guy's, we are almost there," Hunk said as he walked past the hallway, seeing the situation and awkwardly standing still.

"Almost where," Lance asked as he looked up, his eyes were a bit puffy and red, but Pidge and Hunk tried to pay no mind to it.

"The Blade of Marmora Base?" Hunk said. "You know the whole reason we aren't in battle."

"Oh, that," Lance said as he tried to listen through the door, the shower was still running.

"Is he in there?" Hunk asked and Pidge nodded.

"Is it safe to-," Hunk began to ask.

"I'm not going to barge in and hurt him," Pidge said almost too quickly as he rolled her eyes.

"I didn't mean it like that," Hunk said as Pidge turned a shade of pink. "You took out all the weapons out of there right?" Hunk asked.

"Yeah, nothing sharp or remotely dangerous," Lance responded as he heard something from within the bathroom door, it sounded like someone falling and Lance shot up. Pidge was about to follow him into the bathroom until Hunk nodded from side to side and instead started talking about their recent destination.

It had taken longer than expected to reach the Blade of Marmora, due to the whole Keith scenario, but also, in general, the trip was rather secretive and had to be very delayed for the fear of directly leading Zarkon to Voltron. 

Lance started walking into the bathroom, opening the door slightly so that the whole bathroom wouldn't be exposed. It was a rather large bathroom, like one at a community swimming pool or a public gym. He sighed as he went all the way to the end shower where Keith's towel and their bathing items were scattered. The water was no longer running but you could hear some obvious struggling.

"Stupid," Keith continued saying inside the bathroom and Lance followed the sound of his voice as he opened the shower curtain where he Keith was. He was met with a half-dressed Keith, who was jumbled in a shirt, his limbs all in the wrong openings of the shirt.

"Oh, Keith," Lance chuckled as he got closer to Keith and nudged to take the shirt off.

"Ah," Keith whimpered as Lance brushed his finger against his shoulder and Lance grew concerned.

"Did you run into something?" Lance asked as he touched the spot slightly again and Keith scooted back turning red.

"Please-no touch," Keith said and Lance just frowned as he slowly lifted the shirt off of Keith, seeing a deep purple bruise on his shoulder which Keith immediately tried to hide.

"Where did you get that from?" Lance asked almost too loud and it made Keith shiver in fear as he tried to cover his whole torso with the towel near him, causing him to slip and scrunch up in one of the shower corners, the wet, cold floor making him flinch.

"Shirt," Keith said, pointing to the shirt in Lance's hand, signaling for him to give it to him, and Lance just kneeled down in front of him.

"Keith, you can't keep things from me. Are you hurting yourself? Where did the bruise come from?" Lance asked as he pointed at Keith's hand which was enveloping his pale shoulder, hiding the bruise. It would have concerned Lance less, but it was a nasty color, not a light purple, but almost black.

"Fine, Keith," Keith said, indicating that everything was fine, that there was no need to worry. He learned that comment today, he didn't know how to make it flow so, he just hoped that Lance would understand because he didn't want to explain what happened.

He already knew he was causing some type of tension within the paladins and for him to say how he got so hurt would only worsen relationships.

To be honest, he also didn't want to talk about it.

 **[I** t was right after Lance left him alone after breaking down in front of him, and saying he was going to sleep. Keith was scared to be on his own, but Lance looked tired and he deserved sleep. and he had just said he loved Keith, and well, he was very trusting at the moment. 

The other guy in the room, Shiro, said some things to Lance as he left and then he sat down on the couch and Keith went back to his bean bag chair and tuned on the tablet, it was passcode protected. he could feel himself sigh as he looked at Shiro, he was looking at something on another tablet. 

He made the decision to stand up and ask him to unlock the tablet for him, so he got up and scampered across the room to where he was sitting.

"Hmm?" Shiro questioned as he noticed Keith staring at him, with no words and holding out the tablet.

"Oh," Shiro said and Keith looked down as Shiro took the tablet from him and went to the lock screen.

"This is a pretty stupid question, but do you wanna know something?" Shiro asked and Keith looked up as recognized the questioning tone. He analyzed it and it sounded friendly, so he nodded and Shiro put aside the tablet and padded the space next to him on the couch for Keith to sit down.

Keith sighed as he realized that Shiro wasn't asking a question about the tablet, and he felt too afraid to reject the now probable story time, so instead, he sat awkwardly and crossed his legs, waiting for Shiro to talk.

"So you know Varkz right?" Shiro said and Keith flinched at the name, it sounded familiar and he didn't like the sound of it.

"Yeah, you do," Shiro sighed and Keith just looked at him. "Well when I was in prison, I saw Varkz too and he talked about you a lot," Shiro said. I didn't know you were an actual person, I thought that you were just someone he made up to get me to do what he wanted. He used to threaten me, saying he had another prisoner and he was going to do harm to him." 

Keith just nodded, pretending he understood, maybe the more he nodded the sooner he could possibly just walk out and get to Lance.

"Well in prison, I was in there with a guy named Matt, and the thing is, well you were in the same prison as me at one point," Shiro said. "And I remember the days where you would refuse to cooperate and then the guards would be extra harsh to the rest of us. I remember the day specifically when you were disobedient and someone ended up getting hurt," Shiro said. "really hurt," he said as he put his hand on Keith's shoulder and squeezed it tightly, so that is hurt and Keith was shocked at the sudden pain and flinched back.

"No touch," Keith stammered as he shoved his hand away. 

"You know Matt," Shiro said as he gripped Keith by his shoulders, his nails digging into his skin. All Keith could do was whimper and look away from Shiro's eyes, he was getting scared.

"And you know what they did to him because of you?" Shiro asked and Keith understood the questioning tone, but he didn't understand what was being asked so he just nodded his head side to side, indicating he didn't want to talk anymore.

"They took his leg and his arm," Shiro said as he stroked his hands to grip Keith by the sides of his arm and that only caused Keith to flinch back, and get even more scared as he pushed at Shiro's body.

"Please, no touch," Keith almost begged as he pulled where Shiro's hands were keeping him in place.

"Pidge doesn't even know, I can't bring myself to tell her," Shiro said. "But seeing you here, ever since you came-," he continued. "I just-it' just I can't,"Shiro said. "You make everything so real." 

Shiro was now looking down, his hands clinging onto Keith's shoulders as his head clung and looked down. 

"You know, I saw you," Shiro said. "They made us watch your videos to punish us, to make us scared and listen to them," he admitted, like as if a weight had been lifted from his chest. He was revealing so much and he knew Keith wasn't able to understand, so it only made it easier to spill everything out.

"And I just, I don't know what to do," Shiro continued. "If I am being honest, I want to hurt you so badly, but I know it's wrong, I know I can't-do that," he sighed. "It's not your fault, it's their fault, but they aren't here, you are, and it's just so much easier to-," Shiro said as he let go of Keith and looked at him. 

Keith's face was drawn down, his legs were crossed and his body was facing Shiro. But his cheeks were damp and his expression was glum.

"I'm sorry," Keith said, still not looking up. "No live," he said almost too quiet.

"What?" Shiro asked, not understanding him.

"Keith, no live," Keith repeated as he looked up and tears poured down from his face.

"Keith, no I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that," Shiro said, realizing how he had just regurgitated so many emotions onto Keith, hoping he wouldn't understand, but he underestimated Keith's vocabulary.

"Keith, no live," he kept repeating, in a possessive manner as he brought his hands to his face and dropped his face into them, starting to sob while still repeating those words.

"Keith, stop, I didn't mean it like that," Shiro said, sadly as he rubbed his back gently, causing Keith to tense and stand up.

"No!" Keith screeched as he clawed at him, his eyes turning yellow a bit.

"Ahh," Shiro hissed as he looked at his hand, how there was a deep cut in it now, due to Keith's claws.

"Keith, calm down, I don't want to hurt you," Shiro said.

"Keith, no live," he repeated once more as he started to bring one of his sharp claws to his wrist.

"No, stop!" Shiro yelled as he tackled Keith down, grabbing his wrist behind his back so he couldn't hurt himself.

"Keith, no live," the small boy said again.

"Keith, stop, Keith lives, Keith should live," Shiro said as Keith stopped squirming under his harsh grasp, and his claws were reducing in size to almost non-existent, his eyes were also dimming into their normal shade of purple specks.

Shiro let out a breath as he let go of Keith slowly and kneeled down, helping Keith sit up. 

"Don't do that, you deserve to live okay? I shouldn't have said those things, you are still sensitive and it's stupid for me to vent about things that aren't your fault," Shiro said as he was still recovering from the action.

"I'm sorry," Keith said as he slowly got up and rubbed his shoulder. It hurt a lot due to Shiro slamming him on the floor, but he just shrugged it off, he just wanted Shiro to leave him alone, and bringing up the fact that he hurt him, didn't seem like a way to do that.

"No, I'm sorry," Shiro said as he fully recovered and looked at how Keith was holding his shoulder. "Do you need some ice?" Shiro asked, pointing at his shoulder.

Keith just nodded his head and started to get up, he struggled a bit, but eventually got up and limped out of the room to where his room was. 

Although he was, for the most part, staying with Lance, he felt going in with his current state would only make Lance more of a mess than he already appeared to be. 

"Ahh," Keith hissed as he tried to run, his body still a bit winded from the whole action of being pinned down by someone as strong as Shiro. He took a deep breath, stopping to put himself together. After a few moments, he recovered and he continued walking until he reached his room. 

He immediately rushed to the bed and buried himself under the covers.

It wasn't until he was buried inside that he was able to process the whole conversation. He didn't understand it in its entirety, but he understood the gist, or more importantly the part where he caused someone to be hurt, to have their limbs cut off. Or the part where groups of prisoners were punished because of him.

He did remember his mother always telling him to be obedient because it wasn't just their lives at risk. He understood that now and it hurt to think about it. 

He never had much of any type of socialization with other prisoners except when there would be some type of special event where he would be thrown in with other prisoners. The way they looked at him and his mother made so much sense now that he knew what happened if he wouldn't listen.

He understood now why they looked at him with fear and utter disgust. Because he had caused their pain. He soon started to feel tears escape his eyes as he recalled all those moments and only started connecting more dots, making him even more emotiona **l.]**

Keith sighed as he bowed his head, not wanting to look at Lance. He knew he was looking at him in concern, but he just wanted to be left alone. He didn't want to talk about what had happened with Shiro, or more specifically what he had found out. Because if he said Shiro, it would only ger circled back to more drama, that he certainly didn't want. 

So he jsut kept quiet and hoped Shiro would do the same.

"Keith, please talk to me," Lance said as Keith nodded sadly.

"Keith, it's okay, you can tell me, even if you hurt yourself," Lance said as he held Keith's hands.

Keith flinched and pulled away. He didn't feel right. He felt like he was lying to Lance in a way. He thought he was so innocent and sweet, but he had hurt so many people. He had hurt so many innocent people from just not listening. I mean he had hurt the family of one of Lance's friends. How could he look Lance in the eye knowing what he was responsible for anymore?

On the other hand, he didn't deserve his pity. The bruise on his shoulder was the least Shiro could have done.

"Tired," Keith said as he took away his hands from Lance's and awkwardly stood. Lance looked a bit hurt as he rejected his affection, but he understood, Keith needed his space, but not for the reasons he thought.

"Okay, here I'll help you put it on," Lance signaled as he picked up the shirt Keith was trying to put on and slipped it over his slim body. Keith just continued looking down, feeling awful for being treated so kindly, he truly didn't think he deserved Lance, not with what he had caused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Shiro kind of goes off on Keith, admiting that he has seen him before.
> 
> He reveals that in prisons they would use Keith as a way to get people to do what they wanted, using Keith's disobedience as a way to punish the prisoners, Keith's mom was aware of this and tried to keep him calm.
> 
> Keith was unaware of this and when he learns that Pidge's brother was affected by his misdemeanors, he finds it hard to face Lance's or anyone's kindness after learning what his actions caused on other people. 
> 
> He also goes mildly into feral mode and almost starts to hurt himself, causing the bruise from Shiro tackling him down and stopping him, and of course because Shiro is swole the bruise looks like death.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The paladins reach the blade of Marmora and Lance has a lot of questions and points to make valid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW : talks of past abuse
> 
> Updating both stories before tomorrow because new season came out and just cause. There's not much angst in this one, just a lot of explaining and storyline, so sorry about that. There's also an update to my other story that you should check out cause that has some major kangst.

"Hey, Shiro," Lance said as he entered the control panel where Shiro was standing, looking at a map where the Blade of Marmora base was located. He had his arms crossed and as soon as he saw Lance, his whole body flinched a bit.

"Hey," Shiro said as he turned to look at him, concealing his bandaged hand a bit. Unfortunately, it caught Lance's eye and he walked quickly up to Shiro.

"Did you see what happened to Keith?" Lance asked and Shiro looked at him in a nervous manner.

"What do you mean?" Shiro asked.

"He has huge bruises on his arms like someone beat him up," Lance said, as he eyed Shiro's bandaged hand. 

"Oh," Shiro said as he looked down, hissing as he balled his injured hand into a fist.

"Where'd you get that from?" Lance asked as he slightly pointed at Shiro's hand, causing Shiro to avoid eye contact even more.

"It's nothing really," Shiro lied. 

"Nothing? Well you know it's just I find it a bit odd how Keith looks like he was beaten up and you have a cut on your hand," Lance accused. "But even stranger I guess how you were left alone with him after I left," Lance added, raising his voice a bit.

"Lance, it's complicated," Shiro said and sighed.

"What do you mean it's complicated?" Lance scoffed.

"I was stupid. I told him something he wasn't ready for out of anger and he went crazy," Shiro explained, still looking down.

"And you thought beating him up was the only option?" Lance questioned, his tone getting angrier by the tick.

"It's not that simple," Shiro continued.

"Why the hell are you being so secretive, just tell me what happened," Lance argued.

"Lance, he-well he, he was trying to," Shiro said, careful with his words. "He was trying to- end his life," Shiro said as he finally looked up at Lance. "I had to stop him, and I took all necessary measures, I'm sorry," Shiro confessed.

"Oh," was all Lance could say as he thought about it. The more he thought about it, the more it didn;t add up though.

"What did you tell him then?" Lance asked. 

"Nothing I would like to repeat," Shiro said as he tried to look back at the map.

Lance was about to start another argument, but he looked at Shiro, and the way his eyes fixated on the map in a somber manner. Whatever he had told Keith, obviously had sparked some old memories, or caused him anguish, so Lance just left him alone for now.

"Hey guys," Hunk announced as he entered the room with PIdge, Coran, and Allura. 

Lance greeted them and so did Shiro.

"Hey what happened to your hand?" Allura asked as she looked at Shiro's bandaged hand.

"Hurt it during training," Shiro lied, and Lance just eyed him, looking down as Shiro noticed his stare on him. 

"Is Keith asleep?" Lance then asked Hunk.

"Like a baby, he seemed so tired after you left," Pidge said as she went to sit down in her seat, pulling up the map that Shiro was looking at from her seat.

"Good, that's good," Lance said as he went over to his seat and pulled up his computer screen, which consisted of a bunch of information on Keith. Hunk went over to him, causing Lance to close everything, leaving his screen blank. 

"We are almost to this base, what do you think we will find out?" Hunk asked.

"I mean I hope they look at us as allies and I mean maybe they can tell us more about-," Lance was saying.

"Keith?" Hunk finished his sentence.

"Yeah," Lance said, noticing the slight curiosity in Hunk's voice.

"So, why are you so invested in him, do you have a thing for him?" Hunk asked and Lance's eyes widened.

"What do you mean?" Lance asked, his face blushing a bit, as everyone in the room turned to look at him after hearing what Hunk asked.

"He means if you like him, like, like-like him, Lance, " Pidge said as he rolled her eyes. 

"How could you-why would you- why would you ever think that?" Lance asked as his face became redder.

The idea had never in actuality come up in his head. He wanted the best for Keith, he really did, but he never took into account the idea of ever "liking" him. He realized how to anyone but Shiro, who knew why he was so invested in Keith, it appeared like something else.

The more he thought about it, the more he came up with different ideas. The idea of him and Keith didn't bother him, but the more the idea cultivated, the more reasoning came along with it. He could never place that kind of pressure on Keith, not when he was just recovering, even if he did start to grow feelings for Keith, would that be too much for the other boy to handle?

"Well, don't go all crazy, it was just a question, Lance," Hunk said, kicking Lance back into reality.

"It's just-well," Lance stuttered. "I am not invested because I like him, but I-I guess I can't say I have never thought about it," he confessed causing everyone int her room to turn to look at him.

"Are you saying you like him? The half-Galra?" Allura asked, receiving a slight glare from Coran, advising her to stop talking,

"What do you mean half_Galra?" Lance asked as he turned to look at her.

"Lance you know exactly what I mean. I understand you wanting to help that thing, but you are fostering feelings for someone that you have no idea what they are capable of," Allura said. 

"Thing? Did you just call him a thing?" Hunk asked as he spoke up to Lance's defense.

"You know what I meant," Allura said.

"No, I don't know, Allura. I thought we were past this. He is not a thing, he is a living creature that breathes and lives. He has thoughts and feelings, and most of all emotions. You know what he hasn't had?" Lance asked rhetorically. "He hasn't had choices, he hasn't had a say in anything that has occurred in his life until now, and you still can't face that?" Lance said, standing up.

"How can you not see that he is like everyone else in this stupid galaxy? Oppressed by Galra, hurt by Galra?" Lance said. "And yes, he is part Galra, but can't you see he didn't have a choice in that either, Allura, so you know what? Heck. I do like him, in fact, I realize now that I like him a lot, and if you have any problem with that, then I guess you will have to deal with it," Lance yelled as the room fell silent.

Allura looked at him in shock as everyone else joined her. 

"Princess, I think it is time we put the past behind us, and let the team be a unified front again," Coran stated as he went up to Allura and placed his hand on her shoulder. 

Allura looked down and thought about it, processing what Lance had just yelled out to her.

"Lance," Allura said, and Lance looked up at her.

"I am sorry, it is just he is part of the people that destroyed my people, he is part of the reason why I will never see anyone I ever knew again. And yes, I know it was a long time ago, but it is just frustrating having to look at him, having to see everyone crowding around to his every need when all I see is how his race took away everything from me," Allura said.

"But I also realize he has nothing to do with it, he has just as much power, if not less, to anything he Galra say or do, and for that, I am sorry for letting my past get in the way of giving him a chance. I realize now that it isn't his fault for what happened to him, and it isn't yours, or ours, it's no one's fault except the Galra's," Allura apologized. 

Lance looked at her and then proceeded to hug her. 

"Oh," Allura said as Lance squeezed her. 

"You have no idea how much that means to hear you say that," Lance said as he thought about her words _'it isn't his fault for what happened to him, and it isn't yours'_ the words clung onto Lance as he thought about his brother. The countless times he would spend telling him that none of it was his fault, that it didn't happen because he was weak, or because he wanted it. 

Just as much as everyone else kept telling him that is wasn't his fault for not being able to stop it or protect him from it.

It just made him realize how much it still hurt, and how much he blamed himself for what happened. 

Not only that, but it made him realize how much he blamed himself everytime Keith would do something or be hurt, he felt some type of obligation to heal him, to make him better, to do what he never could do with his own brother.

"Lance, I know you are having quite a moment, but we are here," Pidge said, causing Lance to look up, seeing a blast fo light in front of him.

"Apparently, the base is in that," Shiro said.

"You mean inside those glowing thingies that look like they could blow up a whole ten galaxies?" Hunk asked, receiving a nod of affirmation from Pidge.

"Have you been able to make communication?" Shiro asked.

"Not yet- wait I am receiving a transmission," Coran said as he pulled up a screen with glowing purple characters.

"Identify yourself," the screen said.

"We are the paladins of Voltron, sent here by Ulaz," Shiro spoke, and the whole room waited in suspense for an answer.

"Two may enter, come unarmed," the screen responded.

"Unarmed? Who do they think we are?" Allura said as she turned to Shiro.

"Allura, we have come too far to turn back now, they might be valuable allies to us," Shiro responded.

"This just doesn't feel right," Allura said as he looked around.

"Well we have to check it out," Shiro said as he looked around.

"Well if we are going, then who is going to join you?" Allura asked.

"I think I am good," Hunk said as he went back to sit in his chair.

"Well since Zarkin still has a bond with the black lion, it has to stay here, so in that case, the red lion is the only one that can withstand the heat and enter, so Lance?" Shiro asked.

Lance nodded and the rest of the team gave a nod of confirmation, except Allura who just went to the ship's controls.

* * *

 

"Lance is everything okay?" Shiro asked as he held stood up next to Lance, who was piloting the red lion. 

"Yeah, why?" Lance asked.

"Well I know why you feel so close to Keith, and the rest of the team appears to be worried about you," Shiro said as they piloted close to the entrance.

"I'm fine, it's just a lot to think about, it doesn't matter though, what matters is getting into the base and finding out about these people," Lance responded.

"Lance, it's not fine, tell me what's going on," Shiro said.

"It's just," Lance began to say. "it's just hard to have something so close to home literally so close to home," Lance said as he gripped the piloting handles tight.

"I know, it's hard seeing him too, he brings up things that I think everyone in the team would rather just not remember," Shiro said as Lance piloted the inside safely and landed on the only thing vacant inside. 

Both him and Shiro got out of the red lion and looked around for any signs of an entrance.

After a few ticks, they were greeted by two figures wearing dark grey suits with glowing purple accents. 

"Come with us," they said as they were greeted down below the ground they stood above.

Lance and Shiro followed them until they reached their destination, greeted by multiple other figures just like them.

"I am Kolivan, leader of the Blade of Marmora," the figure at the very front of the room said.

"I am Shiro and this is Lance, we are paladins of Voltron," Shiro greeted as he looked at who appeared to be Kolivan.

"I already know who you are," Kolivan said.

"Then you know we were sent by one of your own," Shiro responded.

"Ulaz was foolish giving you directions to this place, he was impulsive and followed his instincts, instead of reason, in the end, it is what got him killed," Kolivan responded.

"He sacrificed himself for us," Shiro yelled out in defense for Ulaz. "We are here with Voltron, are we welcome here, or not?" Shiro asked, getting more defensive by the ticks.

"You followed our instructions by coming here unarmed, I will go with you to talk to your ship leader," Kolivan said.

* * *

With Kolivan in the red lion, Lance and Shiro sent out a message back to the castle.

"We are back, and we are bringing someone we think you'd like to meet," Shiro explained as Lance continued flying.

"So how long has the Blade been in order?" Lance asked.

"It was a way for Galrans that don't see fit what the empire is doing to rebel, it's almost ancient," Kolivan said. 

"So has the group ever heard of project H546-98?" Lance asked and Shiro flinched at the mention.

"What do you know of project H546-98?" Kolivan asked defensively.

"So you have heard about it?" Lance asked.

"Lance, I don't think it is a good time to discuss this," Shiro warned. 

"But they know about it, they know about Keith," Lance said as he piloted close tot he castle.

"Keith?" Kolivan asked, almost seeming hopeful.

"You know him?" Lance asked, turning back to look at him.

"Lance, look where you are going!" Shiro yelled as they were about to crash into some asteroids.

Lance steered away quickly and made his way into the landing down to the castle, where everyone was awaiting their return.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blade of Marmora discovered.  
> Allura has to learn not to be a butt  
> Pidge and Hunk are shipping Keith and Lance  
> Marmora knows of project H546-98 and Keith for reasons yet to be discovered


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kolivan reveals some things about his knowledge of Keith, and Lance gets defensive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions of Rape, Depictions of Blood

"You had us scared for a minute, Lance," he could hear Allura say. 

"Lance," Keith said to himself as he heard his name being said.

"I know, but Kolivan has intel on so much more than we thought we could get intel on," Lance said, causing Keith to tense up at the name, he couldn't have heard that right.

"What do you mean?" Allura asked. "What exactly more do you mean?"

"I mean Kolivan knows about Keith, and I am going to confront him about it after he gets information to Shiro about battleplans," Lance said as he turned a corner, into the control room, where Kolivan was. His stance was wary and he seemed to be detached from the conversation as Shiro kept on going.

"What do you think?" Shiro asked as he finished speaking.

"Oh, yes," Kolivan said and the rest of the people around him looked at him oddly.

"You think this mission is impossible? But we only have to do-," PIdge began to say.

"Sorry, I'm just distracted, can you repeat the plan?" Kolivan asked.

Pidge sighed and started repeating the plan along with Shiro.

"How's everything going?" Allura asked, interjecting the conversation.

"Fine, we just have minor details to talk about," Shiro said as he looked over at Lance, noticing the lingering expression of curiosity on his face.

"I think we can discuss it in detail later today, let us think more clearly and Kolivan can give us some more information on some later issues from Blade of Marmora's intel," Shiro said and Kolivan looked at him and then noticed how Lance was now in the room.

He just nodded and looked at Lance signaling to walk out of the room.

"I'll show him to some more plans that I gathered in the tech room," Lance said.

"Are you sure you wanna go alone?" Allura asked, bringing Hunk's attention.

"Yeah, are you sure it's such a good idea?" Hunk asked.

"I think I will be okay, it's just a computer and some information guys," Lance said as he started leaving the room, Kolivan trailing beside him.

"This seems like a good team," Kolivan said in his monotone voice.

"Yeah, we are all pretty tight," Lance said.

"Uh, huh," Kolivan responded to Lance's informal human dialect.

"So, you know how I mentioned project H546-98 to you on the Red Lion," Lance said.

"Yes, I am quite aware," Kolivan said. "I wanted to address, it was a mistake for me to reveal that information to you, it's pointless."

"What do you mean its pointless?" Lance asked, defensively.

"I mean that there's no point in discussing something that isn't existent anymore,"

Kolivan said. "Project H546-98 got destroyed, it isn't of my concern anymore," Kolivan said. 

"What do you mean destroyed? Keith-," Lance began to say.

"Stop okay? You obviously aren't getting this through your head, but that project isn't something I want to discuss with you, it was a mistake to bring it up!" Kolivan yelled. 

Lance looked at him wide-eyed, shocked, "But you said-," Lance began to say.

"Just stop mentioning it, it isn't of your importance," Kolivan declared.

"But it is of my importance because the 'test subject' of that horrific project is on this ship, so you better and you will tell me whatever the hell you think is not important for me to know!" Lance yelled.

"Lance!" Shiro yelled as he turned the halls, hearing the fight that was going on. "Lance, don't talk that way to an ally, we are trying to make friends here, this is bigger than Keith, Lance," Shiro added.

"You mean the 'test subject' is on this ship right now?" Kolivan asked.

"Yes, and stop calling him 'test subject' you already know his name is Keith," Lance said defensively. "Did you just assume I would forget everything you told me while I literally piloted you into our ship?" 

"You don't understand, he isn't supposed to be alive," Kolivan said.

"What do you mean?" Lance asked him.

"I mean that he was supposed to die, along with all the experiments of his kind, we were to make sure of that," Kolivan said. "He can't be alive, I promised his mother he wouldn't be alive," Kolivan said.

"All experiments of his kind?" Shiro asked.

"You knew his mom?" Lance asked.

Kolivan sighed, "If what you are saying is true, the Galra are still taking in humans and they are continuing their projects, using one human to reproduce more of its kind, and you having this one prisoner doesn't say good things," Kolivan said.

"What the actual hell do you mean?" Lance asked.

"Lance!" Shiro scolded.

"What? You understand what he is saying? Cause I don't," Lance argued.

"Let me make it clear. Project H546-98 is dangerous. It was designed to create a Galran empire military based on obedience. Humans are so hard to obtain in the universe due to Earth being so behind in galaxy exploration, but the humans that are gathered can be so easily manipulated by the Galra. They are adaptable creatures that the Galra saw as a perfect building block for their army," Kolivan began to explain.

"Hey, I am a human, he is a human, Voltron is operated by humans, you can stop insulting us now," Lance said, pointing at him and Shiro. 

"I am saying that humans are desirable for experimentation, due to them being so adaptable to these new conditions, and so weak compared to Galra," Kolivan said. 

"Long ago this H546-98 was a project started by Varkz, a scientist, that had been trying to breed a human-Galra hybrid for years, but the only human that was disposable wouldn't bear a live child until fifteen years ago, who was prisoner H546-98," Kolivan said.

"And how do you know this? I thought Blade of Marmora had established long ago, you shouldn't have so much knowledge of this," Shiro commented.

"Blade of Marmora only grew so much ten years ago, when there were civil wars breaking out, but before that, it was a small group that was still stationed inside Galran territory," Kolivan explained.

"And where were you?" Lance asked.

"I was stationed where prisoner H546-98 was being monitored," Kolivan said, causing the group to fall in silence.

"You mean you were there when he was being tortured? And you did nothing about it?" Lance asked.

"I did much to prevent it from happening," Kolivan said, getting fed up with Lance's questions and accusations.

"Like what?" Lance asked. "Did you place a tracker on him? Did you mingle with his mom and make buddies with the stupid scientist?" Lance spat out sarcastically.

"Lance," Shiro hissed.

"If you would let me continue," Kolivan said, and Lance just shrugged.

"I was there when prisoner H546-98 was being created. The Blade of Marmora had very close ties with the whole project, we did out best to prevent it, and until now, we thought it had been destroyed," Kolivan explained.

"What do you mean close ties?" Lance asked.

"I mean, that I was close friends with the scientist in charge, and before the whole project went into motion- I volunteered-no I made sure I would be the father of the offspring," Kolivan said.

"So you are saying-wait,if-that means-," Lance said.

"That means you are Keith's father," Shiro made the realization, making Kolivan nod.

"Wait but how?" Lance asked, causing Shiro to glare at him.

"It was dire circumstances, Varkz, the scientist at that moment, had high security on the mother, and at that point, nothing that the Blade could do to prevent the mother from having the child, so I made sure that a Blade member would be in close link to the offspring, to ensure we would have close connection with project updates. In that case, I ensured the mother I would help Keith-the prisoner in any way possible and it was me who was to breed a child with her," Kolivan admitted.

"And as the years progressed, their knowledge was limited to simple discoveries by members of the Blade, it wasn't until the child went through his twelveth suicide attempt, that they gained valuable knowledge, and started training him as a weapon, that the mother begged me to kill the offspring. By then we had the same information, if not more about the child than the actual Galra scientists and we had tracking devices on him, monitoring everything and anything. he was becoming dangerous, but he was still my son," Kolivan said. "I-I couldn't bring myself to do it, so I corrupted the data, but it wasn't enough," Kolivan said.

"In the end, the only solution was to finally do away with the poor prisoner's suffering, staged a suicide. I thought the project ended. I made sure he was officially dead, so I immediately retreated to a recently established Marmora base, and fled," Kolivan said. 

"The data I had said he was dead, and I couldn't bring myself to double check it," Kolivan said. " I sent various members to check on him, but by what you say, they found no use for him after he was hurt to that extent. From my knowledge, even if the druids were able to heal him, he would have never truly recovered from what I did to him," Kolivan said.

"What-what did you do?" Lance asked, almost scared of the answer.

"I injected him with a lethal substance, it should have been a painless death," Kolivan said. "He had attempted it multiple times himself, but he was never successful," Kolivan explained.

"I-I, but, does he know?" Lance asked. 

"Lance, I think-," Shiro began to say.

"Yes, he did know me," Kolivan said. "But only until he was eleven," Kolivan said. 

"So you know what they did to him, and you did nothing," Lance scoffed, on the verge of tears.

"It isn't black and white, there were so many things I wanted to do, but if I did all of them, then it wouldn't just be him in this situation, it would be hundreds of people like him," Kolivan said. 

"But isn't that what you are saying?" Lance asked.

"I am saying that if I had intervened any time before then, the Galra would have had an army. I don't know that reason why they kept him or how, but for whatever reason, it couldn't have been good, and the fact that he is still alive proves that they found a purpose for him, a useful one, and it isn't good," Kolivan said.

"If you are saying they were going to use him as a weapon, and he looks like an abused bunny, then what else could they have possibly used him for?" Lance asked. 

"For entertainment? A sex object? A toy that they torture for their own enjoyment?" Lance asked.

Kolivan seemed shocked by the suggestions Lance was making and just looked at him.

"Why-," he began to ask.

"He was raped okay? Multiple times, like they just couldn't get enough of him screaming for them to stop!" Lance declared, feeling himself shake as the words came out.

"Raped?" Kolivan asked, horrified, and Shiro nodded sadly to confirm.

"Why is that such a surprise to you, didn;t you do the same thing to his poor mom to become the father, huh?" Lance accused, causing Shiro to glare at him.

"It is a surprise because he wasn't meant to become that," Kolivan hissed in response to Lance's angered attitude. "Humans are very fragile and although some mentally disturbed Galrans find it amusing to do that with humans, it isn't the first choice," Kolivan said.

"How can you talk about it like this, it isn't a war plan, this is something that hurts people severely," Lance lashed out.

"It isn't that it isn't important, it's just when you have been in a war for so long, it becomes something that just happens," Kolivan answered. "It's the sad truth, but that's all you ever get in times like this, things happen, we are just left to deal with them."

"Unless you decide to run away and never look back after you kill your son," Lance said passively.

"Lance, I think that's enough," Shiro said.

"No, it isn't okay? He doesn't seem to care about anything regarding Keith, he killed him and just left him, never to think about him ever again," Lance said.

"Lance sometimes 'no soldier left behind' isn't applicable, especially when it comes regarding the Galra," Shiro tried to reason.

"How can you say that? You would never just leave your son for dead and never look back, if he is capable of that, then how are we supposed to trust him with anything regarding our safety and anyone else's?" Lance declared.

"I admit, it wasn't the best idea, but it doesn't matter what you think of me, it matters if we are able to work together to defeat the one thing we both despise," Kolivan said. 

"And what if we aren't?" Lance said.

"Lance!" Shiro hissed, glaring at him, signaling for him to shut up.

"Then I shall leave, and you can forget about forming an alliance with the Blade," Kolivan responded. 

"But what if-," Lance starts to say.

"Lance!" a constant distressed voice can be heard pervading throughout the hallway.

"What is that?" Kolivan asks.

"Lance, Lance, please," the same distressed and sobbing voice can be heard, along with sloppy and uncoordinated footsteps. 

Within a few moments, Keith's frame can be seen at the start of the hallway. His eyes and red and puffy, his jaggedly cut mullet is a mess, and his clothes, that are too big for him, are dangling loosely off of him.

"Lance," Keith says as he meets Lance's eyes. He looks around him and sees Kolivan. His whole body seems to tremble and he grows dizzy. His head starts to hurt and his breathing starts to speed up to unhealthy amounts, causing him to hyperventilate, and holding onto the wall for balance.

"I-can't-please, no more," Keith says to himself as Kolivan's figure starts to bring some type of memory to him.

"Keith, hey Keith!" Lance yells as he runs towards him. He envelopes the smaller boy in his arms and tries to calm his breathing.

"Please, no more," Keith whimpers as he digs his head into Lance's chest, sobbing.

"Hey, you are okay, you are fine, you are safe," Lance consoles as he strokes Keith's back to calm him down.

"I think you should go while I calm him down," Lance commands more than suggests as he glares at Kolivan. He just nods, a bit of anger in his actions as he followed Shiro down the hallway and into somewhere else.

"Please, no, no, no," Keith begs as his eyes are closed. 

"Keith, hey look at me, open your eyes," Lance commands, but Keith doesn't listen.

"Keith open your eyes!" Lance says, but Keith suddenly starts coughing uncontrollably. "Keith!" Lance yells as Keith's eyes open wide.

Keith the pulls away from Lance's hug to try to stop his coughing, holding his hands over his mouth. "Lance," Keith begs between coughs and sobs as he is unable e to stop. In a few moments, Keith pulls his hand away and vibrant red can be seen on his hand and covering his teeth. As he sees the blood Keith turns pale and he looks unsteady and ready to faint.

"What the hell?" Lance says as he immediately picks up Keith and carries him bridal style, feeling the now unconscious Keith tremble.

"Keith! Keith!" Lance yells out, slightly shaking Keith, but it was no use, he was out cold.

"I need a pod ready now, there's something wrong with Keith," Lance says into his communicator, receiving an answer from Coran immediately, asking for symptoms which Lance listed out as he held Keith, still trying to get some response out of him.

"Keith, please don't do this to me," Lance says as he starts rushing towards the healing pods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kolivan is Keith's dad  
> Kolivan killed Keith to try to prevent experimentation on the order of his mom, and he thought he was dead the whole time  
> Keith's reasons for staying alive after he was "killed" are still unknown  
> Keith was in a sudden panic searching for Lance, and appears to have some type of symptoms, causing him to cough up blood and lose consciousness after looking at it.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith awakes and explains why he had an attack and reasons behind what actually happened, along with Lance getting bits and pieces of the explanation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions of Rape, Rape, Hurt Keith  
> Angst  
> Comments are great, and motivate me more than they should!! I absolutely love to hear feedback, so feel free to comment anything you please!

**[T** heir hands on him, it hurt, it hurt so much. Keith felt as if his arms would pull out of their sockets as he hung from the wall, his hands tied to the roof, his toes caressing the floor just barely.

"Look at you, pathetic little thing," Hext said as he stroked his abdomen, causing the little life in Keith to spill out and try to pull away from the touch. His body ached so much from being beaten already. He had attempted to end his life again, and the person that was experimenting on him was not happy, and although he knew what the consequences would be, he thought he was so close.

He thought maybe he could escape it this time, but like always he was wrong.

Keith scrunched up his face in disgust and tried to swing away from the Hext's touch.

"Stop moving idiot, I only have so much time until you are supposed to get to the druids," Hext said, making Keith whimper as he dug his nails into Keith's hip.

The tears were already forming waterfalls on his face as Hext ran his large hand through his hair, then to his chest, moving past his stomach, down to where Keith started screaming.

"Shut up," Hext said as he covered his mouth, leaving Keith to struggle to breathe right as he was being stroked against his will. He didn't want this, he really didn't want this.

"Mhhhm," Keith screamed as Hext continued causing feelings Keith wished would go away. After a few seconds, he felt his hips bucking and he cried even harder.

"Whore," Hext said as he took his hand away from Keith's mouth, making Keith release a moan, surprising himself. It only took a few seconds for him to completely give up and let his head fall, crying violently, struggling to keep his breathing steady.

"It's okay to like it you slut," Hext said as he stopped touching Keith only to lift his head by clenching his jaw. 

"You know I would hate to see you go," Hext said, "So don't you ever think about leaving me again." Keith couldn't even clearly look at him at that point, his tears blurring his vision too much. "You know it would all be so much easier if you would listen. Varkz wants you to build muscle and fight, if only you would just fight. Let go of those stupid feelings you have for other people, and just obey, be like the human we are trying to make you" Hext sighed as he ran his claws through his hair.

Keith just looked down, he couldn't go through with it. He couldn't hurt other people or his mother just because he was told to. Even if it meant torture, it was better than bringing torture to others. He just couldn't bring himself to voluntarily take part in the arena fights, or any violent prisoner quarrel. It wasn't like he was ever outside of the experimentation grounds anyways.

"Ah," Keith hissed as he felt a sharp pain in his lower back as Hext out of nowhere started prodding him. Involuntarily, Keith started pouring tears again.

"I wish you would stop crying, it's a complete turn-off," Hext said as he wiped away Keith's tears, pressing a small peck on his temple, disregarding the fact that it only made Keith cry mor **e.]**

"STOP! Please stop," Keith yelled out as he awoke from his sleep. He was breathing erratically and as he looked over he didn't see Lance next to him or in the room. He needed Lance, he needed Lance right now. He needed something to remind him that this was not happening, that he was okay, and that he wasn't with the Galra anymore. 

But all of a sudden his head ached and he felt himself collapse to the floor as he groaned in pain, his head pounding. 

"Keith," he heard a familiar druid's voice say and his eyes went wide.

"Lance!" Keith yelled out as he tried to get off the floor

"Keith," it said again.

"Lance, please, talk," Keith said as he brushed his eyes, they were soaking wet, and as he managed to get out of bed, the tears only started pouring out of his eyes again.

"Keith, we found you," the voice said again and Keith's eyes were at their widest point, this couldn't be happening. Suddenly, the voice stopped and his head stopped pounding, but in seconds, his whole body ached and he felt as if he were being shocked continuously all around. 

"Leading us straight to your friend," the voice came back and said, the hissing of the familiar witch's voice trailing in his mind as he tried to move, slowly but surely. 

"I'm sorry this is hurting you, but it is the cost of you being such a far distance away," he heard it again. 

"I-I, can't," he felt himself growing weak as he could no longer stay standing without gripping onto the wall next to him, his panting aggressively loud that anyone within the hallway that he was, could hear him. 

"Please, Lance, talk," Keith whispered to himself as he put his hands over his mouth to muffle his cries, as a way to try to calm himself. After a couple of seconds, he managed to calm himself enough to stand straight and be aware of his surroundings, the voice appeared to be gone, and although weak, the pain in his body wasn't getting worse.

Even though in the hallway he was in the lights were off, he managed to stumble out. It took his eyes a moment to adjust to the bright lights of upcoming hallways but he managed.

"Stop fighting it. You know why you are here, it's time to do what you were sent here to do," the female voice hissed again as he felt his whole body cramp, causing him to collapse.

"La-a, La-nce," Keith huffed out as he was on all fours, trying to catch his breath. "P-please, no more," he began to beg as the pain stopped. It took a few moments for him to get up, but the pain continued in minor pulses, causing his body to stumble even more.

"You know how much energy you are costing me by fighting like this," the voice remarked as Keith kept on struggling with the unknown force. "Wherever you are, they are feeding you well, you have grown privileged, forgotten your purpose," the voice added, but Keith barely understood it as he struggled to focus on what it was saying.

He then turned another corner and he could hear voices he recognized friendly, calm voices.

"La-," Keith was about to shout out until he felt feeling as if someone had stabbed him in the chest., causing him to lunge backward, landing on his lower back. 

"I think I know where you are; that means all is going to plan," the voice said again, almost slyly as if they had discovered something.

"Stop," Keith said at barely a whisper, begging the voice for, the pain to stop, as he managed to sit up and curl into a ball, his back to the roof. It not only pained him to be treated like this, but it reminded him of things he had almost forgotten about. That voice, it sounded so familiar, so terrifying, he didn't want to verify that it belonged to who he thought it did. He couldn't bring himself to think that he would no longer be safe; that he would be brought back to the place he had been rescued from.

"Please," Keith said once more, and the pain soon became tolerable enough for him to be able to stand. He didn't even question why it was suddenly just brief pulses of pain, he just limped as fast as he could go wherever the voices he recognized were coming from.

After a couple of steps, he could clearly hear the voice, and it was Lance.

"Lance!" Keith yelled as loud as he could, causing him to sound in a lot of distress.

He could see two other figures next to Lance, but Keith was in so much panic that he just focused on Lance, putting all his energy to make it to where he was standing.

"Pathetic thing, I know exactly who you are with, he doesn't even know," the witch's voice ringed in his head, causing it to pound, making his steps uncoordinated.

"Lance, Lance, please," he begged as if asking him to make all of the pain stop. He didn't know what she was talking about, and she was almost trying to force him to remember, by hurting him. He always knew how to stop the pain, how to stop the nightmares, the fear, so he had to know how to stop the witch, he had to.

As he made it further down to hallway, he met Lance's eyes, full of worry and concern as he met his own red and puffy ones. 

"Lance," he says in hope before he feels as if the life was being drained from him, air not able to fill his lungs. Keith started to try and beg the witch silently to stop, to just stop all, everything, he couldn't take it anymore. He could feel himself start to tremble and hyperventilate as soon as he was able to breathe again. He grew dizzy though, from the lack of oxygen, and he could no longer maintain the little balance he had been gripping onto, causing him to cling to the wall for dear life.

"I-can't-please, no more," he begs again, looking up as he is finally able to sort of see the figures next to Lance. One of them is Shiro, but the other, the other is Galra.

He meets those piercing yellow eyes and his breath starts hitching up again. How could Lance be talking to Galra? Was the Galran there for him? To take him back, was that why the witch suddenly was in his mind? The thoughts started racing, causing him to yet again stumble, feeling his eyelids growing heavy, his eyes wanting to roll back.

"Keith, hey Keith!" Lance yells as he runs towards him. He can soon enough feel Lance catching his unsteady figure. He is too weak though to fight back. As much as he didn't want Lance to give him to the Galran and take him back, he was too weak and confused to do anything about it. He felt defeated. In such a quick period of time, he was going to lose everything.

"Please, no more," Keith whimpers as he digs his head into Lance's chest, sobbing. If he was going to be given back, then he wanted to at least feel the comfort Lance brought him one last time.

"Hey, you are okay, you are fine, you are safe," Lance consoles as he strokes his back, calming him down.

He can hear Lance command something to someone, but he is too dreary to hear it because it isn't directly to him.

"Please, no, no, no," Keith tries to tell Lance to not give him away, to reconsider what he was doing. The more he thought about it though, the more stupid he felt. How could he have thought anyone could love him? How could he think he would belong anywhere else but a prison? why was he so stupid to think this freedom would actually last?

The witch's voice suddenly could faintly be heard, "He is a paladin of Voltron." He didn't understand entirely what that meant, but he understood the part where she was telling people where he was, to pick him up. At that point, his hope was lost, he was going to be sent back, and there was nothing he could do about it, so he let his eyes close.

"Keith, hey look at me, open your eyes," Lance commands, but he doesn't listen, maybe if he gave into the pain, it would all just get over with.

"Keith open your eyes!" Lance yells.

"You aren't getting off that easy," he hears the witch hiss as he suddenly feels a compression on his lungs, causing his eyes to open wide. making him start coughing uncontrollably. "Keith!" Lance yells as Keith is unable to stop, his body tensing in his arms.

Keith then pulls away from Lance's hug to try to stop his coughing, holding his hands over his mouth.

"Lance," Keith begs between coughs and sobs as he is unable to stop. He tries to see if Lance will do one last round of favors for him, just one more time before he is sent away.

In a few moments, Keith pulls his hand away and vibrant red can be seen on his hand and the taste of the metallic blood lingers in his mouth, pooling and accumulating. He pulls his pale hand to his line of sight, and he feels himself turn pale as he looks at the blood. It was enough to cause Keith to remember things he didn't want to, and soon enough he felt his eyes roll back, his consciousness fading.

"What the hell?" Lance says as he immediately picks up Keith and carries him bridal style, feeling the now unconscious Keith, tremble.

"Keith! Keith!" Lance yells out, slightly shaking Keith, but it was no use, he was out cold.

"I need a pod ready now, there's something wrong with Keith," Lance says into his communicator, receiving an answer from Coran immediately, asking for symptoms which Lance listed out as he held Keith, still trying to get some response out of him.

"Keith, please don't do this to me," Lance says as he starts rushing towards the healing pods.

* * *

 He awoke to silence and a tight grip on his hand, along with some type of contraption on his nose and mouth.

"Hey," he suddenly heard someone say to him, his eyes fluttered into focus as he realized it was Lance. He was a bit dazed, but in a few seconds he jolted up, remembering he had seen a Galran that was here to take him away. 

"Stay-," Keith said until he started coughing and was brought to lay back down by Lance, who adjusted the thing on his face.

"It's a breathing mask," Lance said as he patted Keith's shoulder, calming him down. "You had a punctured lung, it scared us," he sighed. "It scared me," he added as he cupped Keith's cheek.

It felt like a goodbye, and Keith didn't want to say goodbye, so he turned his head, pulling his cheek away from Lance's touch, causing Lance to frown.

"Do you want to tell me what happened? Did you fall?" Lance asked. "Because you have bruises on your body, and Coran said you had some damaged nerves," Lance said. "It's all fixed now, but how did it happen?"

Keith, still looking away, just shrugged as he laid down, letting out small coughs. 

"Keith, I know you probably don't feel safe after everything that's happened to you, but tell me what happened. A person doesn't just out of nowhere have a punctured lung and bruises from nothing," Lance said, causing Keith to flinch at his raised voice.

"I'm sorry," Lance said as he looked at how Keith was tensing up, bringing his hands up to his neck, trying to curl in on himself.

"It's just you worry me, and I want to help you. But I can't unless you tell me what's happening," Lance explains.

"Keith, leaving," Keith said beneath a whisper, followed by a cough.

"What?" Lance asked.

"You make me leave," Keith said a bit louder, still turned on his side, not looking at Lance. His hands were now resting on his breathing mask, making him seem even more curled in than before.

"Keith, no," Lance said. "I am not making you leave, why would you ever think that?" 

"Don't lie, that makes me sadder," Keith responded a bit passively. The thing he hated more than being so trusting was being lied to, did he think Keith was so stupid as to not see the Galran? As to just forget everything?

"Keith, look at me," Lance commanded, but Keith didn't. "Keith, come on."

"I don't want to, I will miss you a lot," Keith said, his voice breaking as he started coughing from the lack of air he was getting.

"Hey, hey, calm down," Lance said as he stroked his back.

"I-c-can't," Keith coughed out as he started sobbing. 

"Keith, you aren't leaving, no one is going to hurt you, I am not giving you away," Lance said. "Why would you ever think that?" 

"T-he w-witch, and t-the guard," Keith said as he sat up, trying to get himself to calm down. 

"The witch?" Lance asked in concern as he pulled his hands away. 

"She-she, h-hurt me," Keith said as he gripped the mask on his face with both hands.

"Where is she?" Lance asked. "Did she come in your room?" 

Keith just nodded his head from side to side.

"In head," Keith sobbed out as he winced, remembering the experience, not being able to have control over his body at all. Just feeling the pricks and contractions of his muscles, it hurt, it truly hurt and thinking about going back to that daily hurt him even more. 

Lance looked at him, still not fully comprehending it, but just nodding, dropping the subject, it seemed to really be bothering Keith.

"Well, you are-," Lance began to respond before Keith suddenly grabbed his hand with both of his.

"P-please don't make me, d-don't give me to h-him," Keith begged as he made direct eye contact with Lance. The other boy just looked at him, shocked. Without getting a response, Keith started coming up with ideas, anything that would make Lance decide not to give him away. He let go of Lance's hand and took off his mask.

"Hey, no put it back on," Lance said, as Keith started coughing a bit more frequently. Keith winced as he pushed Lance's hands away, making himself lean closer to Lance's face.

"Lance," Keith said, coughing lightly into his hand.

"Keith, put the mask-," Lance said as Keith looked at him, his eyes puffy.

"Lance, please don't give me back," Keith said. "I-c-can't," he coughed out. 

"Keith, you aren't going anywhere," Lance said as he cupped Keith's cheek, wiping away his tears with his thumb, making Keith pull away. 

"Please, no," he silently said, as he turned away and put the mask back on his face, one of his hands holding it in place. Lance sighed, scooting his chair in closer so he could be closer to Keith.

"Keith, Koli-the guard, he is here to help," Lance said. "He is not a bad guy," Lance said, not convincing Keith. "He isn't like the other Galran."

"Why is he here?" Keith asked, continuing to look away, his legs dangling off of the bed.

"He wants to help us," Lance said, reaching for Keith's hand, holding his free and gently with both of his, resting his forearms slightly on Keith's lap. He flicnhed at the touch, but did nothing to stop it

"What's his name?" Keith asked, letting his guard down a bit.

"Ko-I-I don't know," Lance lied as he slightly messaged Keith's hand, no longer hearing sniffling.

Keith sighed, causing small coughs to erupt. 

"Do you want to tell me what happened now?" Lance asked as a few seconds of silent passed.

"No," Keith said.

"Hey," Lance said. "Look at me," he added gently.

Keith did, turning slightly, his hand not being held by Lance, still cupping the breathing mask. 

"Nothing you say will change the way I look at you," Lance said. "I do not care if it is something bad, I just want to help you," Lance said. 

"I am okay," Keith said.

"Keith," Lance said, letting go of Keith's hand scooted his chair back, then grabbed one of Keith's feet, pulling his pant leg up. 

"NO! STOP!" Keith said, the mask falling to the floor as he screamed. 

"Look at this Keith, you are not okay," Lance said as he pointed at Keith's leg, bruises scattered all over it.

Keith just looked at his legs, he hadn't actually seen the residue from what the witch had done to him, but he felt even more sore after looking at how it appeared. 

He gulped as he let out another chain of light coughs. 

"Here," Lance said, giving him the mask that fell on the floor. "I just want to help you Keith," Lance said as he rolled his pant leg back down, sitting back into his chair.

There was a moment of silence before Keith spoke.

"It was a nightmare," Keith said. "I woke up and I wanted Lance to make me okay," he added, turning red. "I-I was scared and you help me be okay, b-but I could not find Lance," Keith said. "And then witch start talking to me," Keith explained, causing him to freak out.

"Hey, you are okay now, I am here," Lance said as he grabbed his hand, looking up at him, making eye contact to make sure he knew he was safe.

"And then she hurt me, make me feel like cannot breathe," he added. "Then I cannot walk, or see because tears come out," Keith said as he squeezed Lance's hand tight, using it as a stress ball, keeping him from hyperventilating. 

"Then I see guard, and I think he come because witch tell him to," he says. "And you with him-," Keith says as he pulls his hand away, grabbing the breathing mask with both of his hands, concentrating fully on breathing correctly.

"Keith, it's okay, you are okay now," Lance says. 

"I am going to find out what happened, and it won't happen again," Lance said as he looked at Keith.

"Witch coming," Keith said as his eyes started pouring tears.

"No it's okay Keith, she's not," Lance reassured him.

"Witch coming," Keith said as he remembered what she had said to him.

"Keith, hey, calm down, you are safe, it's okay," Lance said.

"Promise?" Keith asked looking at Lance, 

I-I, yes, I do," Lance responded, making Keith breathe out slowly, calming him down. 

"Okay, okay, okay," Keith breathed out. 

"Are you okay now?" Lance asked. "Do you want some food? Water?"

"Tired," Keith said and Lance nodded.

"Okay, I'll let you rest then," Lance said as he began to get up.

"Wait," Keith said, making Lance turn around. He didn't want Lance to leave, but he also didn't want to give Lance any more reasons to even think about giving him away. He had seen a Galran and even if Lance says it's not a guard, he couldn't take any chances, he couldn't be a burden to Lance.

"What?" Lance asked, almost hopefully awaiting to be asked to stay.

"Uh-nothing," Keith said as he looked down, grabbing the blanket at the edge of his bed and lying down. 

Lance looked at him weary, a bit disappointed that he hadn't been asked to stay, but he just continued to exit, dimming the lights a bit, to let Keith sleep.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith had a punctured lung (healed though, but still recovering) and bruises caused by a "witch" (which you can probably guess who he is talking about)  
> Lance consoles him, and kind of has an idea of what happened  
> Keith thinks he is on thin ice, and after seeing Kolivan, thinks he is here to take him back to the Galran prisons,


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kolivan links the connection between Haggar contacting Keith and makes a risky suggestion.

"He is talking about a witch that is able to someone, magically communicate with him?" Lance asked. "Sound familiar?"

"Even if what you are saying is true, how would Haggar even be able to communicate with him?" Shiro asked as Lance explained everything that Keith had told him in the computer room with Shiro.

"Well hell, wouldn't it be great to know?" Lance said sarcastically.

"You need to cut it out," Shiro hissed.

"What the hell do you mean?" Lance asked as he made elaborate hand gestures, expressing his point.

"First, you almost ruined our alliance with the Blade and ever since then, you are refusing to cooperate with the rest of the team. We are all in the same boat here Lance,  your past situation doesn't matter, you need to contribute to this team just as much as everyone else," Shiro said.

"As in past experiences you mean my brother right?" Lance said, causing a backfire on Shiro. "I'm sorry if I can't make this about something that really sets me off. I'm sorry that I just can't keep my emotions under control!" Lance yelled. And suddenly the door at which they were standing near opened, showing Kolivan.

"Great, just great," Lance said passively as he threw his hands up in the air to accentuate his frustration.

"I see now is not a good time," Kolivan said, about to exit the room.

"No, you get the hell back here," Lance said, causing both Shiro and Kolivan to act in astonishment.

"I think this whole alliance thing is not going to work in our favor," Kolivan said. "Obviously, there are some conflicts that we aren't going to be able to get past, and it isn't about that now. It is about seeing the future of the universe, but apparently, it's just a bit hard for this to work in the interest of everyone."

"Don't make this about the universe," Lance scoffed. "You just told me that you are the father of someone that I personally care a lot about, so I am just registering this the best I can," Lance rambled as he turned red.

"From what I hear you just met him," Kolivan said. "And don't you think I would know the feeling? This is my son, that I thought I had killed, and now you tell me that he is here, but you won't let me see him. How am I supposed to work with people that prohibit me seeing my own son?" Kolivan asked, making his point.

"You say that it's about the universe, but are you hearing yourself? You are making it about you because this isn't something that is anything but personal!" Lance argued.

"Lance," Shiro said as he placed his hand on Lance's shoulder to calm him down.

"Shiro, get the hell out of this," Lance steamed. 

"No, Lance I can't because this is ridiculous. You both care about Keith. You both need to stop this. Kolivan has a point, it is about making an alliance that will stop this war, not some complicated family issue," Shiro declared.

"Oh yeah and what about Haggar huh? What about her coming for Keith? Isn't that some complicated, personal family issue?" Lance said.

"Haggar?" Kolivan asked. 

"Yes, the witch is tracking Keith and she's coming. Do you want to discuss that now, or is that a personal issue not concerning the universe?" Lance asked sarcastically.

Kolivan just glared at him along with Shiro looking at him disapprovingly. 

"What-," Lance began to say.

"Do you have any idea what you are saying? How is that even possible?" Kolivan asked.

"How am I supposed to know, you are the Galran here," Lance said.

"We think it may have something to do with his connection to this project you were talking about. If he was such a valuable asset to the Galra Empire, wouldn't they have some type of connection to him?" Shiro asked. "I know sometimes I have visions of things that happened to me at the arena," Shiro added.

"It just doesn't make sense how she would even be able to access a connection, and even so, why take so long to do it?" Kolivan stated. "Something big is happening, the Galran wouldn't go to this extent unless there is some ulterior motive," Kolivan added.

"Funny how that works huh?" Lance said as he made a jab at Kolivan's behavior.

"I understand that for some reason, you can't get over what I have done, but you need to face the fact that it isn't about Keith, it is about defeating Zarkon and the empire," Kolivan said. 

Lance just scoffed as he crossed his arms and looked away.

He didn't want to hate Kolivan, he was the father of Keith. He could tell him a lot about him and a lot on how to help him. It was just the fact that he seemed to not care to any extent about Keith that bothered him. What type of father could he possibly ever amount to if he didn't even fight for Keith?

"I will need to see him, maybe with Altean magic, we can see what he is seeing," Kolivan said. 

"Wait, what?" Lance asked, snapping back to reality. "You want to go in his mind?"

"It's something I learned while I was under the Galran rule. There is a way to access mental thoughts through using the same magic that Atleans used. It was how they conducted many of the experiments when he was young. They used crystals that Alteans used. You have an Altean princess on board which can most likely do the same procedure easily," Kolivan explained. 

"You want to put your own son through the same experiments that he was put through before?" Lance asked. "Do you even know what kind of side effects that can have?" 

"I know very well," Kolivan said. "But I think that Keith can endure a bit of sacrifice for the good of the universe for just a little while," Kolivan added.

Lance just scoffed. "And you are just letting this happen? Weren't you in these prisons as well? Don't you think its dangerous for him to go through with this?" Lance asked Shiro.

"Lance," Shiro sighed. "I hate to admit it, but he has a point," Shiro said. "If the information that Keith can give us can help save lives, and defeat Zarkon, we should perform the experiment."

"Are you even listening to yourself?" Lance asked, looking at both of them like they were insane.

"The quicker this is done, the quicker my intel base and yours can get on to deciphering what the Galran could be up to," Kolivan said.

"I will bring it up to the Princess," Shiro said. "Lance," Shiro said directing Lance. "Could you-," he began to ask.

"Don't make me do this to him," Lance solemnly said. 

"You know it's only for the best Lance, it won't hurt him," Shiro said. 

"You don't know that," Lance said. 

"You also don't know what Keith will say," Shiro said. 

"Shiro-," Lance began to say.

"This is bigger than Keith, I don't know how many times I have to say that to you," Shiro said, getting more impatient by the second. "I understand this is not a question of the universe to you, but think about it. I know deep inside, you know this is right, and that if we don't do this, something bad could happen," Shiro said. "And it won't just affect Keith if it does."

Lance looked at him, his face forming a furrow. He hated to admit it, but they both had a point. If Keith didn't do this, it could be more than just him getting hurt. It was just hard, for him to ask so much of someone that thought he was safe.

How could he even ask Keith? To do something for people he didn't even know and probably didn't even know existed.

Lance sighed before finally speaking. "I'll bring it up to him, but if he says no, I am not forcing him, and I won't let you make him," Lance said. 

"Lance-," Shiro began to say. 

"This is bigger than Keith if we don't do this, living beings could die, Lance," Kolivan said. 

"But if we do, we could also just be leading Haggar straight to us, only tormenting Keith more, so no, I will not force Keith to do it," Lance said. "It is his choice, because I've read about these things being done to him, and I won't be part of something that could kill him."

"How could you have read about things done to him?" Kolivan asked.

"Because we hacked into the Galran system to obtain information about him, and I have read about this, and it is a painful process that in his state could kill him," Lance said

"In his state?" Kolivan asked.

"Oh, yes I forgot, you know nothing about your own son," Lance said. "And you of course never bothered to ask, but he has a recovering punctured lung, bruised bones, and a very declining mental state," Lance said. "So if you want to do this to him, it won't be under good circumstances, unless you are willing to wait," Lance said.

"The longer we wait, the more the Galra have an open field and location of where we are," Kolivan said. 

"If they know where we are, why haven't they come for Voltron already?" Shiro asked.

"That's what we need to find out," Kolivan answered.

"And if you are going to find out your way, you run the risk of hurting Keith to I don't know what extent. He isn't mentally or physically stable," Lance interjected. 

"We can have healing pods in case anything goes wrong," Shiro said. 

"Are you actually stupid?" Lance asked. "How can you just agree with this, Keith isn't cleared to run any kind of procedure when he can barely even breathe," Lance added.

Shiro looked at him and sighed, fixating his eyes on a spot, trying to come up with something better.

"There's no other way," Kolivan said. "You don't know what could happen if we don't access his thoughts."

"I think I am perfectly aware of what will happen, but this is someone, a living being we are talking about. He isn't an experiment anymore. He thinks he escaped all of that, and you just want to do it to him again," Lance said. "Isn't that just cruel?"

"Lance, he trusts you, just convince him. Tell him it's for a good cause," Shiro said. "I don't want to ask you to do this, but it's the only way we are going to get anywhere, or at least able to prepare ourselves for whatever the Galra are planning," Shiro said.

Lance just looked at him, then at Kolivan.

"What could happen I he doesn't do this?" he asked, wanting to hear the outcome to make his decision.

"Lives could be lost, a lot of lives. Like I said, they wouldn't go to this extent unless they are planning something big," Kolivan said.

"But why now? Why him? What does Keith have?" Lance asked.

"That's what we want to find out," Kolivan said.

Lance inhaled again, taking a deep breath, looking down at his feet. He didn't want to ask this of Keith. But he had to admit Shiro and unfortunately Kolivan were right. They were so right and he couldn't deny it. If he didn't do this, lives could be lost, multiple lives, not just Keith's.

They hadn't even seen his statistics or his work up. Maybe he could be cleared somehow for this process on safe terms. Just maybe, he hoped. 

"Ok, but if he says no, I am not forcing him to," Lance said. 

"I will tell Coran to check in on him," Shiro said. "I will talk more about the plan you were thinking about. I think Pidge had some thoughts about it," Shiro said to Kolivan. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kolivan is a pretty messed up dad still  
> Shiro is being an asshole  
> Lance is kind of being one too, but he has his reasons  
> Poor Keith is going to be asked something he really shouldn't be asked


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance talks to Keith about the operation and Keith surprises Lance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: None, if you don't count MAJOR angst as one.  
> Also LOTS of fluff
> 
> Also, I updated the other work in this series and it is WAY DARKER, but tells you a lot about Keith.
> 
> Just an extra post because it's Thanksgiving and you guys make me feel so good about writing. Like seriously you guys deserve so much for this whole story. Without all your feedback this story would probably be dead, so major kudos to all you readers for making this story possible.
> 
> Hope you enjoy! ( I made it extra fluffy just for you )

It took a couple seconds for Lance to be able to go into Keith's room. He was getting multiple buzzes and notifications on his wrist notifier, probably from the rest of the team, but after the first five, he just turned it off.

He couldn't believe he was doing this. After everything he had done for Keith and after everything he has done to try to avoid hurting him, he was putting Keith in one of the most compromising positions. How could he face someone he had grown so attached to, to do something like this for a world he didn't even know existed?

Lance sighed as he slowly entered the room where Keith was staying. The scrawny boy was still on his side and he was still holding the breathing mask. He looked like he hadn't moved since Lance had let him there, and much less like he had gotten any sleep. When the door opened, or he heard Lance come in, he just looked at him, and then back straight in front of him, blankly.

He couldn't do this. So he began to walk out but not before Keith spoke, or at least tried to.

"Say, s-say," Keith gasped out, and Lance turned back, slowly going to his side, grabbing a chair to sit next to his bedside.

"What?" Lance asked softly as he tried to make eye contact with Keith, who was struggling to look at him.

"S-stay," Keith said, looking like it took his whole strength to just let out that small word. It only pained Lance more to have to ask him what he had come here to ask him.

"Ok, I'm here. I won't leave," Lance said as he placed his hands on the side of his bed, where they weren't touching Keith. 

"Why," Keith started to say, "you here," he coughed out, noticing the way Lance's knee was bouncing and his gaze was drifting.

"What do you mean?" Lance asked as he stopped his knee from bouncing nervously.

"Worried, Lance," Keith coughed out as he reached for Lance's hand.

"It's-, nothing, Keith, nothing you should be worried about," Lance laughed nervously as he held his hand out for Keith to grab. 

"You can say," Keith mumbled quietly as he grabbed Lance's hand and started weakly playing with his fingers.

"Uh," Lance said as he looked at Keith and then at the situation. He hated himself so much. He found Keith so adorable, but he hated himself for that exact same reason. What sick person would find Keith adorable in his helpless state. He didn't want to like him in a romantic sort of way, but he couldn't help it. There were times where Keith just found ways to tug at his heart. And it could be said it was because he reminded him so much of his brother, but Lance knew that was just a cover story.

It was times like this where he knew that he didn't just see his brother in Keith, he saw someone he wanted to love. Which was the real reason he couldn't do this to him. He felt so connected to Keith but so guilty that if anything happened to him, then what would it mean for Lance. Did he not try hard enough for Keith to live happily; to not have to suffer anymore?

If he asked Keith to do the operation, he could risk everything. He could risk Keith's health, his trust, and most of all his sanity. He was happy now, although hurt, he was happy. He wasn't scared to live anymore, and who was Lance to ask him to give up everything he had just gained?

"What, i-is, it?" Keith asked once more as he let go of Lance's hand and brought his hands to help him sit up.

"Hey, it's nothing, lay back down," Lance said as he stood up and tried to get Keith to lay back down.

"What you, not saying?" Keith asked as he looked at Lance. 

"Keith, i-t's nothing. It is nothing you need to hear, now lay back down. You are going to hurt yourself," Lance said, but it didn't convince Keith, he just looked at him stubbornly and then at the floor. 

"I'm not," Keith started to say before he started coughing. "No help," Keith finished.

"Helpless?" Lance corrected and Keith nodded in confirmation. "I know you aren't helpless, it's just, you don't need to hear it is all," Lance said. 

"Tell me," Keith said and Lance sighed at him, taking a few seconds to look at him and then around the room. 

"I know who was in your head," Lance said. "We know who the witch is."

Keith hummed and waited for him to continue.

"I also know she's very bad, and just that her being in your head means bad things," Lance added as he unconsciously started tapping at the edge of Keith's bed.

"I know," Keith said as he went to stop Lance's hand from tapping, rubbing it gently, to try and calm him. 

Lance could feel himself blush as he gently took his hand back, fiddling around with it himself. 

"I know who she is," Keith weakly said. "She still talking to me," Keith coughed out.

"Is that why you haven't slept?" Lance asked and it took a couple seconds for Keith to answer with a simple nod, up and down. 

"Did you talk to Galra?" Keith asked, referring to Kolivan.

"Yes, and Shiro," Lance said. "They have a plan; that I don't like."

"It going to hurt me, right?" Keith asked, causing Lance to shift and look at him directly. How did he know so much?

"How-," Lance was about to ask.

"Very loud talking," Keith said as he pointed to the door. "And I hear things with my Galra ears," Keith added. 

Lance looked at him and frowned. He didn't have to be hearing that conversation. 

"You angry with me?" Keith asked as he looked down, his feet dangling from the bed as he adjusted his breathing mask to dangle from his neck.

"No, no, not at all," Lance said. "It's just, you shouldn't have heard that."

"Lance," Keith said. "I want to do it."

"Do what?" Lance asked. 

"The test," Keith said as he looked up at Lance, determined. 

"Keith, look at me. You don't know what could happen to you. You don't even know what it is," Lance said. "This test will go inside your mind. It-it, it could kill you," Lance said.

"Lance, I have to," Keith said.

"Keith, you have no obligation to do this," Lance said, causing Keith to look at him in confusion. "You don't have to," Lance said again, rephrasing it to be more understandable.

"Lance, I am no use," Keith said as his eyes started to tear up. "If I don't people die," Keith said, his voice breaking as his hands squeezed the edge of the bed, balling into fists.

"Keith, of course, you have a use. You are a wonderful, beautiful being. You are so kind and strong. You matter to people Keith. You don't owe anyone anything for being the way you are, so don't do this because you think you don't matter," Lance argued as he started tearing up too.

"Lance, look me," Keith said. "I dying. I weak and using your stuff. I could help world," Keith said. "I did not even know there was world, but because you show me, you take me from Galra, and I see the world. And I want to help world. I do not help world by dying here on bed and crying," Keith said, tears spilling from his eyes and small chains of coughs coming from his mouth.

"Keith, look at me," Lance said as he went over to Keith and grabbed him by the sides of his face, making him look at him. "Just because you feel like this, doesn't mean you have to do this. The world has done so many things to you that you did not deserve. You don't need to do this, you don't have to do anything because you are dying because of the world, you are crying because of all it's done to you," Lance said almost all in one breath, leaving Keith stunned.

"So don't you for a second ever think you don't matter, and that you should die for the world because you have no other purpose," Lance said. "Because you do, you do so much Keith."

Keith looked at him and tears erupted from his eyes as Lance held his face. 

"Lance," Keith said. 

"Yes?" Lance asked. 

"My face, it hurts," Keith said shyly, and Lance blushed as he let go of him. 

"Sorry," Lance chuckled.

"Lance, It is just," Keith said as he coughed a bit. "I know what Galra do, and not want that to happen to more creatures," Keith explained as he rubbed his face where Lance was holding him.

"It could kill you," Lance said. "You don't have to. No one is making you."

"I making self," Keith said.

Lance sighed as he looked at Keith and then at the floor. He walked closer to where he was mere inches from Keith's face. 

"I don't want you to," Lance said his, breath felt on Keith's lips.

"I know, but I could help many," Keith said slowly as he looked at Lance, visibly blushing a bit.

"But you could also die," Lance argued as he placed a hand on Keith's cheek.

"Maybe I will not," Keith said as he looked wide-eyed at Lance. 

They stayed like that for a minute, staring at each other until Lance spoke. 

"Keith, could I, can I," Lance hesitated to ask and Keith nodded without him even finishing. 

And within seconds Lance kissed him. Keith's lips were soft, and they were raw from how much Keith nibbled on them. He tasted like medicine, but it didn't bother Lance. They broke as Keith started coughing, and Lance looked at him, blushing and stepping back.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have, you are recovering and I am taking advantage of you. I-I'm sorry," Lance rambled and Keith just pulled him back to him, as much as he could with the little strength he had. 

"I not even know what you are saying, but you need to stop talking," Keith said as he grabbed Lance's hands.

"You know I remember when you said you love me," Keith said. "And I never think anyone love me ever, not after know all about me," Keith said as he started crying more, grasping Lance's hands tightly. "But then you rescue me. You save me, and then you love me like normal creature," Keith kept on explaining.

"And that make me think, that I can die happy ," Keith said, coughing as he started crying more. "You make me feel something I never thought could happen. You make me happy Lance, and knowing that, I can do test without being scared to die. I no scared of pain after knowing that if I survive, you be there to make me better."

Lance looked at Keith with shock at first, but after a couple seconds, he hugged Keith so tightly until he started coughing.

"I'm sorry, it's just," Lance said, trying to keep himself from crying. "I had a brother like you, and i-it just makes me- I don't even know, but what you said makes me think of him, and it just makes me feel like I did something right. You don't understand how much that means to me Keith," Lance said as he didn't try to keep himself from crying. 

"I thought I was one to be crying," Keith laughed. 

"How come you, with a punctured lung, is making these jokes?" Lance chuckled as he smiled at Keith.

"Lance," Keith said, making Lance look at him. 

"I just want you to know if I no live, that I love you too," Keith said. "And I am so happy with all you have done for me, also all friends that helped me," Keith said.

"Hey, don't start saying those things to me," Lance said. "You might live, and I don't want you telling me this now, tell me this when you are done with your test and you are okay," Lance said as he held Keith's hands.

"I can not even breathe, Lance. I don't think I will be alive," Keith said as he held Lance's hands. 

Lance looked at him and squeezed his hands as he frowned. 

"I'll tell Coran you are ready," Lance said as he pressed a button on his wrist, where his communicator was.

"Will you be there?" Keith asked as Lance started to leave.

"Yes, I will. Coran is coming and he will prepare you," Lance said.

"Can-can you stay?" Keith asked and Lance smiled.

"Of course I can," Lance replied as he sat beside Keith, who returned to lay down, and placed his breathing mask on him right. 

"How about you try to rest a bit before he comes? It will take him a while. I might have caused a technical difficulty with the ship that may delay him," Lance said, but before he could get a response, Keith was already asleep.

Lance smiled as he looked at Keith, how adorable he really was.

It made him wish even more that the operation went well, and he didn't know that was even possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Keith agreed to the operation more than Lance.  
> The operation has high risks of killing Keith, if not traumatizing him and making him lose all he has worked for.  
> Klance finally kissed.  
> The operation is to try to get access to Haggar's voice and complicated stuff that will probably be explained in the next chapter.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith's operation occurs and everyone is doing their part.

"He said yes," Lance said quietly as he entered the room where everyone was gathered. "After Coran came, he made me promise to continue, no matter how much he begged to stop," Lance added, sounding defeated.

"He did?" Kolivan asked, almost surprised.

"What does it take to you? It's not like you care whether he consents or not. All you want is information," Lance snarked.

Kolivan looked blankly at him and then away.

"You don't know how hard it is connecting with someone I had to hurt," Kolivan explained. "His whole life I could only stand on the sidelines and watch him suffer. All I could do was slide in extra food during his dinner, or make it to where the operating room would somehow lose power," Kolivan added. 

"It's just I never planned on seeing him again," he said as he looked at Lance. 

"Bet you were relieved, huh?" Lance asked as he walked towards him. 

"Lance, that's enough," Allura said.

"You have no idea what this will do. And it's not even if it happens or not, it's just the fact that you just don't seem to realize how much of a sacrifice this is," Lance said. "especially you, I would expect you would know. Waking up with nightmares, not knowing what's okay and not. Just not having a hold on what is safe," Lance said as he pointed at Shiro. "It's not fair that you all are treating this like some experiment. Cause it's not, it's a sacrifice that is going to cause so much distress," Lance said. 

"Lance," Shiro said as he came close, but Lance just shot his arms up in frustration. 

"You want to know what he said to me?" Lance asked rhetorically to the group.

"Lance," Pidge said as she looked up from her screen and was about to say something, but he continued talking anyway.

"He told me how he doesn't matter, and if he died, then at least he died helping," Lance said. "How can it be that this poor human, that is literally the about the same age as me, be willing to do such a thing because he just doesn't see any purpose in going on?" Lance asked, making everyone go silent. 

"Lance," Hunk said, trying to break the tension.

"What?" Lance yelled.

"Coran said Keith is ready," Pidge mumbled as she closed her laptop.

"I'm staying in the room with him," Lance said, and Shiro looked at Allura and nodded.

"Of course," Allura said. 

"And Lance?" Allura added.

"What?" Lance asked in a bit of annoyance as everyone started filtering out of the room.

"I'll do my best," Allura tried to reassure, and as soon as she finished and everyone was out of the room, Lance started breaking into tears.

"Allura," he sobbed out as he just broke down, leaving Allura speechless at the drastic change in emotion.

"Y-you can't k-kill him, p-please," Lance said as he covered his face with his hands.

"H-he's, I can't live knowing h-he died in t-this ship," Lance added as Allura patted his back, calming him down.

"I will be careful," Allura said and Lance nodded as he tried to breathe normally.

* * *

Within the room where the operation was going to take place, a healing pod, set in bed mode, was present in the middle of the room. There were certain wire like things attached to Keith on his wrist, ankles, and neck with little suction like things.

He wasn't fully conscious yet, and his eyes were closed, the wires being connected to a platform that Allura was standing on, projecting a screen of all that was going to pop up as she looked inside Keith's body and mind. 

"So what exactly will this do?" Hunk asked PIdge as they stood in the observation area, they were in charge of all the technology cooperating.

"Basically, Allura will perform the same procedure done on Keith at the prisons by using the wires connected to Keith to initiate an electrical response. It will then shock him, and allow for access to his mind and things about him only he knows," Pidge said and Hunk hummed in response.

"So what's the big deal?" Hunk asked.

"Well, first of all, mental trauma," Pidge said. "Other than that, his body can refuse the procedure and be shocked into a coma, his brain feels threatened, that at this state will attack itself, thinking there's some type of virus inside of it. And well, in general, a lot of things could go wrong," Pidge sighed.

"Lance has a point you know," Hunk admitted as he looked at Keith and Coran explaining the manuals to the princess.

"He does, but we can't rick it. It isn't just about Keith now, it's about what the Galra can do through him. If Haggar is in his mind, who knows what she has been seeing, doing, or even planning," Pidge explained as she set the control, giving Coran a thumbs up.

"It's just what if it was Matt?" Hunk asked, causing Pidge to stop and freeze.

"It's different," Pidge said.

"How?" Hunk asked in the most considerate way he could.

"Because-because, Keith-," Pidge began to say.

"Isn't as important?" Hunk asked.

"It's different, I calculated the risks, and nothing bad should happen. It's a controlled setting. I've got this," Pidge said, continuing the process and ignoring what Hunk said. 

"Lance?" Pidge said over the intercom.

"Yes?" Lance asked.

"Every time you see the light turned red, you will have to step away from Keith, and not touch him, for if you do Allura could easily go into your mind because she jumps right into whomever the electrical current is running through," Pidge explained.

Lance sighed and nodded to Pidge. He sat down next to the procedure table, a chair placed just for him to stand next to Keith, who was now waking up from the sedative he was given. He managed to focus on Lance, and Lance swore he saw him smile before suddenly the light in the room turned red and a pulse was brought through Keith's body.

"He's awake!" Lance yelled as Allura jumped into Keith's mind, immediately Keith's screams pervading throughout the room.

"He needs to be awake," Coran said. "It's the only way to see what is going on."

Lance sighed as the light in the room turned back to a dim blue, images popping up n the various screens in the room. 

"What do they mean?" Lance asked, noticing how some holographic screens that popped up around the room were of different sizes.

"The bigger, the more Keith thinks about it. The smaller means the less he remembers of it," Kolivan said as he entered the room. 

"Is that you?" Lance asked, seeing a screen playing a memory of Keith's, that showed his perspective, looking up at Kolivan, Haggar present. Lance went over to it and touched it, causing it to show the date. 

"You click them for sound," Kolivan said as he shuffled through some screens, seeming to search for something.

"This one doesn't have any," Lance said as he hesitantly clicked the one of Keith looking at Kolivan and Haggar.

"It's muted," Kolivan said.  "That's when Haggar put a button on his neck, making him more obedient to experiments. I see they probably removed it after he grew up," Kolivan said as he gestured at Keith's neck, a scar still present from where the button was.

"We took it off," Lance said as Kolivan's furrow-browed. 

"It was killing him," Lance said as a beep could be heard throughout the room, Allura no longer touching Keith. 

"I-I can't do this," Allura panted and Keith lay limp on the bed, the screen still visible as Allura breathed erratically.

"What do you mean?" Coran asked, concerned for the princess.

"I can feel Haggar's presence and she's fighting me off," Allura said.

"You have to continue, if you can feel Haggar, that means it's working," Pidge said through the speakers of the room. 

Allura looked at Lance and then at Keith, who didn't move, except for his chest. 

"Is he okay?" Allura asked.

"I-I, I don't know," Lance stuttered as he went to grasp Keith's hand, his arm limp and his body, non-responsive. 

"Push the blue button, it should start circulation from the heart again," Pidge said, and Coran nodded, pressing the button. Within moments, Keith's body pulsed back and the more screens popped up, Allura hesitantly returning to her place.

"Ah, ah, p-please, s-stop!" Keith screamed as he gripped Lance's hand tightly. "I-I, c-can't, p-please!" He screamed as his eyes shut tight and poured tears. 

"I'm sorry, Keith," Lance said as he let Keith squeeze his hand. It pained him to see him this way, but he had promised, he wouldn't stop. 

The room fell silent until the light coming from Allura's hands stopped, and the wires along Keith's sides lost their color.

"Move!" Kolivan yelled as he out of nowhere sprung into action.

"What the-," Lance began to say, but he took note of how it looked like Kolivan had been crying.

"Keith, Keith, look at me," Kolivan said as he tried to get a response from the now limp Keith. Coran went over to press the button, but no reaction occurred.

"What the hell is happening?" Lance yelled at Pidge, who just looked at him defeated, staring at the screen and then at him.

"Lance, calm down, you are making Pidge nervous, she can't fix it if she can't concentrate," Shiro said calmly. 

"Shiro, fucking get out of my way," Lance snarked. "Pidge!" Lance yelled, and Hunk matched her expression, going to click a bunch of button and typing in numbers into the operating systems.

"Keith, I'm sorry. I should never have been okay with this," Kolivan said as he disconnected Keith from the machine, grasping him to where his head laid on his shoulder, and his bottom half was still on the bed.

"Pidge!" Lance yelled as he rushed into the room, trying to do anything to make him come back.

"He's alive, he is alive," Hunk sighed as he pointed at the screen and then at Kolivan's arms, where Keith was being held. 

"D-da?" a weak and quiet sound emitted from Keith's mouth, a small beeping noise filling the room. Keith looked like he was trying to remember a distant memory, and it finally clicked. The sound of Kolivan's voice and the shape of his face, the feeling of his embrace, it reminded him of someone, something he had lost so long ago. Maybe it was the fact that he was barely holding onto life; that his body decided to link the two dots, but they were there, linked.

For the first time since Kolivan arrived, he knew who he was, and the moment Kolivan processed what he said, he broke into tears. It was as if every memory was surging back into him, anything and everything he had tried to push out for so long, was reeling back in.

"Keith? Keith,  y-yes it's me," Kolivan said, letting Keith lay down, his body let out a chain of coughs, his body wheezing to stay alive.

"I-I'm s-sorry," Keith said. "I-I c-can't stop her, she-I s-sorry," he coughed out, grasping or air, his eyes drifting places. 

"Shh, n-no, n-nothing was your fault. Shh, it's okay, you are fine," Kolivan consoled him, tears spilling from his eyes.

Keith stayed silent for a moment as he tried to breathe right.

"His respiratory system is failing," Pidge stated solemnly as she looked at her screen, her eyes red from crying. "Gosh, what the heck have we done!" she said to herself as she tried to look for an answer. "I-I thought, he would be fine. I-I put the n-numbers, h-how did this happen?" Pidge stuttered, sobbing and running her hands through her hair.

"H-how did this happen?" Pidge asked Hunk who immediately hugged her. 

Lance, on the other hand, was in shock, the numbers, the charts, it all pointed to the same thing. 

All he could do was stand there, looking at Kolivan and then at Keith, staring at him, seeing how weak he was, how he was dying in front of his eyes. But he couldn't move. No matter how hard he tried, his body would not move, his eyes wouldn't blink, he just stood there staring, crying, watching Keith.

"L-Lance?" Keith managed to say as he tried looking around the room, Kolivan looking around for Lance, who just nodded from side to side, his mouth agape. He was crying uncontrollably to the point where his sobbing didn't allow him to breathe.

"N-no, goddammit!" Lance yelled as he was able to move, slamming his fist on the doorway as he went over to Keith.

"Allura do something! Use your goddamn magic and do something! Anything, just save him!" Lance yelled, causing Allura into action.

"Coran?" she asked, but Coran just nodded sadly.

"No, don't you dare give up, do something!" Lance yelled.

"Please," Kolivan said, letting go of Keith and nodding. "I lost him once, and I can't have a say this time, and not do something," Kolivan said. 

Allura nodded as she hovered over Keith, her hands going to his chest and trying to search for some way to use her power to regenerate with the technology of the healing pod Keith was laying on.

The room was silent and no one spoke, all eyes were on Allura and nothing else. 

"He isn't going to make it," Lance sighed as he looked at Keith, and his color fading away. The way his eyes no longer looked at a certain point worried him along with the fact that he was becoming less and less aware of where he was.

"Keith, please, look at me," Lance said as he grabbed his hand.

"You said he would be fine!" Kolivan yelled at Pidge, standing up in rage as Allura's attempt didn't seem to be working.

"Hey, calm down," Shiro tried to reason as he put his hands up, trying to get Kolivan's attention.

"You promised me it was a safe procedure, and the risks would be nothing because she would be able to fix it," Kolivan said as he growled defensively at Shiro.

"Will you shut the fuck up and come to your child?" Lance yelled. "If you haven't noticed, he's dying," Lance said, not looking away from Keith, who Lance could have sworn let out a small smile as Lance said that. 

"What are you smiling at?" Lance chuckled weakly as he rubbed away his tears.

"I-I'm sorry, n-not my c-choice. She-m-made me, I-I not know," Keith said, the sentences becoming the hardest thing to do in the universe.

"Hey, no, shh, it's okay, you are fine," Lance consoled as Kolivan sat back down.

"Keith, I'm so sorry. I-I thought maybe it would all be fine. That we could get revenge on the very people that did this to you, but I became just as bad as them. trying to get information the same way they did, risking your life. I-I'm so sorry," Kolivan said as he grabbed his hand.

Keith hummed as suddenly his grip went limp and his eyes rolled back.

"What, what happened?" Lance yelled out at Coran and Allura who's hands stopped glowing and eyes opened.

"I-I don't know," Allura stuttered as she looked around, almost in shock as she tried to figure out her surroundings. "He-he, how could they?" Allura rambled, not making sense. "They-they," Allura stuttered as she fainted.

"Princess!" Coran said as Shiro came rushing over, picking up Allura.

Lance looked at Allura and then at Keith, his hands went immediately to find a pulse on his wrist, anything.

"Keith, come on," Lance said as he felt harder, trying to feel anything, something.

"He, he has a pulse," Pidge announced behind her screen, her tears turning into a relief. 

"You mean?" Kolivan asked, hopefully.

"He-he's alive," Lance said as Kolivan went over and hugged Lance tightly, his sobbing turning the same as Pidge's, pure relief.

"Thank you, thank you so much," Kolivan said out loud. 

Lance just nodded. Joy filled the room as everyone felt much happier, the thought of everything going well, filling everyone's minds.

"It's okay, he is fine," Lance told himself.

"He is," Kolivan responded, hearing Lance, giving him a weak smile.

"They-they-," Allura stuttered weakly as she awoke, her consciousness coming back.

"Yes?" Shiro asked as he held her, Coran already treating her in thirty different ways, making sure she was indeed okay.

"They-, the Galra," Allura breathed out, heavily. "The Galra are coming," she said as a bit of light shot out from Allura's hands, twirling and causing a screen to appear in the middle of the room, along with all the others. 

In it, Haggar could be seen in a ship, with a map of the paladin's relative location, pinpointing the Castle's exact spot. 

"Project H546-98 was a success, we can now proceed with the plan," Haggar said as the commander of the ship nodded. 

The room stared at the screen, and then at Keith, who was still unconscious.

No one knew what to say. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith is unconscious.  
> Allura passed out but revealed that the Galra are coming and showed that it was somehow related to Keith being there.  
> Keith starts having realizations and starts remembering things, specifically things that Haggar wanted him to do.  
> It's all starting to click, whoops.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith's point of view, a lot is explained

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith and a lot of explaining, don't hate me but it is wild
> 
> Sorry, guys, it has been a wild week and will continue to be until I get out for break, so hold on tight. I am also looking into entering a poetry chapter book contest, so that will be taking up most of my time. I also have to work on "Fremich" an original work that I am really excited about and have written almost the full first chapter.
> 
> I don't know, but I hope you enjoy and understand what is going on, comment or clarification or just some quality emotional rant, I love to hear from you either way!

Keith knew what he had gotten himself into.

He knew it was going to hurt, he knew he was doing it for the better of the world, or what he had discovered of it. It was something, almost like another force, that pushed him past the edge though, and compelling him to want to do the experiment. It is what it was in the end, an experiment, a test, not whatever the rest of the people were telling him.

At first, when he overheard Kolivan, Shiro and Lance talking about it he felt betrayed, almost wanted to run away, or find some way to escape. The more he thought about it though, the more it appealed to him. It was that strange force again, the strange feeling that seemed to get stronger that made up his mind.

That's why when Lance came into the room, he was almost demanding it be done, without excuses. Deep inside, Keith didn't want to do it, no matter how many people he was going to save, no matter how many ships or creatures or anything he would prevent from getting destroyed. His gut or instinct was even fighting the choice, his body not feeling right about how easily his mind had been made up.

Maybe it was how used he had gotten to his freedom, or how he was just numb to the feeling by now, but as soon as he felt the first wave of the procedure being done, it all made sense.

He saw the witch in all her clarity, the words he heard all made sense, the reason he had agreed so willingly, forced him to allow energy to surge through him, to Allura more specifically.

"You are finally useful, human," the witch's voice echoed. The harsh and sinister tone of each syllable making Keith shift and squeeze Lance's hand tighter.

"Leading us straight to Voltron, straight to the enemy," Haggar said, visions of her seeing them and their location going inside his mind. He could feel Allura's power diminishing, and Haggar's dark energy starting to overpower his body. His lungs felt as if they were starting to fill up, drowning him with each breath. Before he knew it the ringing voice in his head went silent, and he could no longer feel his limbs. 

He tried to squeeze Lance's hand only to realize he couldn't move either. 

"I thought the Princess would put up more of a fight," Haggar cackled as she kept on pushing, making Keith feel weaker and weaker, his numb body surging with dull burst of pain. 

He didn't know what it was, but suddenly he felt a surge of energy, and he could feel his body once more, only to feel the full-on pain throughout it all. His skin felt prickly, each inch feeling as if it were on fire. His head was pounding, and a sharp and intolerable pain emerged in his chest. 

"Now that we know where you are, there is no need for you to live," Haggar's voice echoed.

"Ah, ah, p-please, s-stop!" Keith screamed as he gripped Lance's hand tightly. "I-I, c-can't, p-please!" He screamed as his eyes shut tight and poured tears. He couldn't fight off Haggar anymore. He could feel the life literally be torn from him, the dark energy only growing stronger. 

He knew what was happening, Haggar had used him. She had used him to track this group of people, or whatever reason, they were an enemy. He didn't know why, but he felt so guilty, so hopeless. They had accepted him so easily, do the best to try to assimilate him back into life, and he repays them by being a tracker for the wretched witch's plan.

If he had known, he would have died much sooner.

He knew it was too good. How had he been so stupid as to think this all just happened from coincidence? To think that he had found such loving people and not been ripped away from them sooner? 

He was stupid that is what he was. He was meant to be taken, he was meant to be cared for, but only to lead the witch back to these people, only to be killed in the end, with no ability to even warn them of what was coming.

From around him, he could hear mumbling, cries even, but he couldn't bring himself to respond. first of all, because of the pain, but also because he had nothing to say. He had let these people down, he had been the reason why they probably wouldn't survive. He was the reason why the so-called world he was doing this all for, would be destroyed. It was all his fault.

He was so naive, so stupid, so, so worthless.

That was the last thought he had before he felt his whole body go limp, his breathing escape him, and his thoughts come to an abrupt halt.

After a while, he felt his conscious come back, but he felt as if he were in a different place. Maybe this is what happened after he died. he saw a figure, so distant from anything he remembered. He could feel his eyes try to focus on the figure, connecting the creature to the memory. 

"D-da?" a weak and quiet sound emitted from Keith's mouth, a small beeping noise filling the room. The sound of Kolivan's voice and the shape of his face, the feeling of his embrace. It was something one could only see after they died. It was too good to be true. It only occurred to him that it was really happening when Kolivan spoke.

"Keith? Keith,  y-yes it's me," Kolivan said, letting Keith lay down, his body let out a chain of coughs, his body wheezing to stay alive. He wasn't dead yet, the pain was still pulsing all throughout. When he realized this, he tried to spring back into life, trying to apologize or all he has caused.

"I-I'm s-sorry," Keith said. "I-I c-can't stop her, she-I s-sorry," he coughed out, grasping or air, his eyes drifting places. He wanted to explain how he didn't know, how he should have known, but he couldn't his body not allowing him to speak more than a few words at a time.

"Shh, n-no, n-nothing was your fault. Shh, it's okay, you are fine," Kolivan consoled him, tears spilling from his eyes. It wasn't okay. It was definitely his fault. The witch was coming, so were the Galra, and he couldn't even warn them due to his not even being able to breathe right. All he could do was cry, and breathe, none which were actually useful to the situation.

The frantic voices around him didn't make it better either. The way everyone sounded like they were freaking out, and the way that Keith was unable to make out what they were saying.

He tried his best to usher out words, but none were successful. At last, he called out for Lance, hoping that maybe the boy would be able to forgive him after he learned what he had done.

"L-Lance?" Keith managed to say as he tried looking around the room, weakly turning his head, coughs trailing as his head looked around. 

Immediately after he heard Lance's voice yell in anger, a pounding following. His hopes dropped. He had probably already heard what Keith had done, what he had let the witch do. His motivation finally diminished to nothing. 

How could he ever think Lance would ever love him after learning what he did, that he is the reason why they were all going to die, why the universe, or whatever they were trying to save had no hope, and it was all because of him.

He was about to stop fighting Haggar until he felt a surge of Allura's power flow through him. He came up with a quick plan, that if he could transmit the vision of Haggar and the Galra coming, maybe it would give the group some time to run away, protect themselves, do something.

 "He isn't going to make it," Lance sighed as he looked at Keith, and his color fading away. He was trying his hardest to make llura aware of what was coming, but Haggar was trying to keep him from doing it

"Keith, please, look at me," Lance said as he grabbed his hand. Keith didn't squeeze it or return the touch though. As much as he wanted to feel Lance's touch, this was more important, even if it killed him, he wasn't going to let Haggar win.

"Stop fighting me, you filthy whore!" Haggar yelled, only making Keith try to fight even more. 

"You said he would be fine!" Keith could hear Kolivan yell at Pidge

"Hey, calm down," he could hear Shiro try to reason.

"You promised me it was a safe procedure, and the risks would be nothing because she would be able to fix it," Kolivan growled.

"Will you shut the fuck up and come to your child?" Lance yelled. "If you haven't noticed, he's dying," Lance said, causing Keith to smile. Even when he was such a traitor, Lance was still making jokes, still being nice to him.

"What are you smiling at?" Lance chuckled weakly as he rubbed away his tears, Keith leaned into the touch as he felt his thoughts reach Allura. It was done, he could stop fighting now.

"I-I'm sorry, n-not my c-choice. She-m-made me, I-I not know," Keith said, the sentences becoming the hardest thing to do in the universe.

"Hey, no, shh, it's okay, you are fine," Lance consoled. Keith just accepted his words. 

"Keith, I'm so sorry. I-I thought maybe it would all be fine. That we could get revenge on the very people that did this to you, but I became just as bad as them. trying to get information the same way they did, risking your life. I-I'm so sorry," Kolivan said as he grabbed his hand.

"You stupid human!" Keith could hear Haggar yell as he felt a sharp but quick pain in his chest, making the air rush out of him.

Suddenly his grip went limp and his eyes rolled back.

What he saw now was what looked like an endless black void.

"You worthless experiment," the witch said, appearing in front of his floating form.

"Not true," Keith responded, as he looked around. He wasn't on the operating table anymore, he didn't have any wires on him or people around him. He didn't know where he was.

"You've got quite a tongue," Hagar said. "We were going to kill you, but you have resisted. It's something you have never done before since your mother died, but don't worry I think we have a use for you here after all," the witch responded as he suddenly could see where she was. She was surrounded by people he hadn't seen in a long time. 

Hext. Varkz. Zarkon.

His breath quicked as he felt himself be pulled back into her side of the shared vision. The setting around her more visible, the unwelcoming hummin of purple lights getting louder the closer he was pulled in.

"I not yours!" he yelled as he could feel Hext's hands on his wrist, pulling him.

"You will always be mine, come on baby don't fight me," he said gently as he pulled harder. 

"No! No! No, let go!" Keith yelled as he clawed and bit at the hands that were pulling at him. He wasn't going to be taken back. he wasn't going to be brought back to a life of torture and fear. He had learned there was so much more to that. He wasn't about to lose it all within seconds.

He couldn't be taken like this, through some magical force where everyone he had learned to love, would not even know he was alive. 

"I not yours!" he yelled as he finally broke free and tried to push the witch's magic out o his head. 

He could see Hext whisper something to the witch, only to see that she no longer fought to keep him with them. He was just let go, life rushing back into him.

It made him anxious, worried, why had he been let go?

* * *

When Keith awoke it was to a bright white room. It was empty, and his eyes took a while to adjust.

He tried to move around only to see that he was restrained from behind with white handcuffs that were linked to the wall by a bright white wire. He was dressed in a white t-shirt and white shorts, like always, but these seemed like a new pair. He had no idea what was going on. Where was he, why was he restrained?

He kept looking around, his breathing only racing faster as he looked at how there seemed to be no exit. The worse part is that he couldn't remember much of what happened before he blacked out.

Suddenly the wall that he was facing, turned into glass, and Lance appeared on the other side, his index finger positioned as if he had just tapped the wall.

He looked down at Keith, his face filled with what looked like anger mixed with disappointment. 

"L-lance," Keith said, trying to come close to the glass, onto to be pulled back to the wall because of the wire.

"How could you?" Lance asked, anger in his voice.

Keith just looked at him in confusion.

"We took you in. We healed you, we did so much, and then you betray us. What is wrong with you?" Lance asked, this time tapping the glass to where it disintegrated and he was standing before Keith.

"I-I," Keith stuttered, not knowing what he was talking about.

"Allura is hurt, she is in a critical state. We barely made it out alive after a surprise attack from the Galra, that the Blade had to come in and help us with," Lance said as he went down to Keith's level, squatted down and looked him straight in his eyes.

"L-Lance, I-i don't know-," Keith stuttered out before he was met with a harsh slap on his face. 

"I trusted you! I fought for you! I protected you!" Lance yelled and Keith only looked down at the floor, wide-eyed. 

"Then you go and put us out to the Galra, the enemy of the galaxy," Lance added as he forced Keith to look up.

Keith didn't speak, just looked at him with terror in his eyes. Why was Lance doing this? What had he done? 

"Oh, stop looking at me like that, you fooled me once with that innocent act, but not again, not after you have put everyone I love at risk," Lance hissed as he looked at Keith, who's left cheek was already starting to bruise.

"You are nothing like my brother. You are nothing to this family," Lance said as he grabbed Keith by the collar o his shirt, causing Keith to widen his eyes, even more, his body in a weird position from his arms were restrained behind his back.

"L-L," Keith began to say before Lance started speaking again, his breath on his face. At other times it would have comforted Keith, but as o now, it was causing Keith to shy away, to anticipate another blow to his face or his body.

What had he done wrong? He didn't understand? He thought it was probably from the time between the operation and now, but he just couldn't remember, it was like the time had just been erased.

"All this time, I cared for you! I said I loved you," Lance lashed out, pushing Keith against a wall. "I kissed you goddammit, I helped you when no one else even dared to. I-i don't understand why you would e-ever-Was any of it true? Were you just trained to betray us? To trick me into loving you? To make me think you actually cared?" Lance asked and Keith looked at him with the same blank look he had on his face this whole time. 

"L-lance, please, you hurt me," Keith said quietly as he gently shifted under his harsh grasp.

"Lance!" a voice could be heard from behind them, it sounded like Pidge, but Keith wasn't sure. It was enough to cause Lance to let him go through, and his body made a loud thud sound as it hit the cold white floor.

Within seconds, the wall faded back and whatever was happening outside of the room became unknown to Keith. It wasn't until he heard his sniffling that he realized he had been crying.

And when he realized he was crying, he let out full on sobs, curling in on himself as best as he could with his hands tied behind him.

Why did Lance hate him? What had he done?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is revealed that Keith was actually a trap or tracker like a way to get to Voltron set by Haggar.  
> Keith is shown to not know until Haggar reveals it to him through a vision.  
> He does his best to try to get the message to the paladins through Allura, but ti causes Allura to be exposed to Haggar's magic, and him to be severely weakened.
> 
> Keith wakes up and is in a situation where he is confined like a prisoner, and Lance is shown being very angry and taking the point of view that whatever Keith was acting like was all an act 
> 
> Keith is shown to be given mercy by Haggar for some strange reason and left on the Castle ship, but only to have part of his memory gone as to why he is being treated the way he is


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW : implied rape/non-con  
> I'll let you figure out on your own.   
> Also sorry about not updating, it's just that time of the year where everything seems to come together, but idk I feel like the story is losing its "spark" it might just be me, but idk, so comment what you think.   
> It's going to be a rollercoaster, I'm sorry.

Lance didn't come back for a while, leaving Keith all by himself in that empty room. His hands were now free, the handcuffs automatically snapping off after the first few hours o his confinement.

He thought it was strange, but tried to not let it bother him. At least he could move his arms, that's all that mattered.

He hadn't moved much, the harsh grasp of Lance still lingering on him. The way his voice snapped at him, the way it all seemed fake. He couldn't believe it was real, he didn't want to. So he stood there, sitting on his knees, his thighs pressed against his calves as he looked at the floor, hopeless.

"Hey," he suddenly heard a voice say. His eyes immediately shot up to see Lance, the wall in front of him no longer there. He could feel a part of him feel relieved that Lance was there, but also a bigger part that was scared, actually terrified of what he was going to say.

Keith just looked at him, instinctively scooting back as Lance fully entered the room, the wall fading back as he did. This didn't make sense and it was confusing him. Why would Lance be so calm after having such a big breakdown?

"Keith," Lance said coming down to his level, sitting on his own knees. "I-I'm so sorry," he let out, his voice breaking as tears started to fill his eyes. 

Keith just focused on him, not moving as Lance started sobbing. He wanted to hug him, comfort him, but none of it felt real. 

"L-lance," Keith stuttered out as he managed to somehow make himself smaller as he scooted into the closest corner, his back against the walls and his eyes not leaving Lance.

"It's just-t-there's a lot that happened, it's just been hard," Lance huffed out as he looked at the confused mess that was Keith. "Allura is very hurt, and-and," Lance said as his voice broke again. "I-I was just mad, and I shouldn't have let it out on you."

"I-I'm so sorry, and I know t-that it-t's going to b-be hard t-to forgive me," Lance said as vivid tears started pouring down. 

"Keith," Lance said, trying to calm himself down. Within seconds, Keith lunged at him and hugged him as tight as he could. His embrace felt weird, not like other times he had hugged Lance. It was much tighter, not as flowing as it had been before if that is even a way to describe it. 

"I-I'm s-sorry," Keith said. "I-I don't know w-what I did, but I sorry," Keith stuttered out. He was just starting to feel relieved when suddenly he felt a hand on his hip, and he instinctively flinched. 

"L-Lance?" he asked as he looked up at him, loosening his hold on him. Lance didn't respond and just kept his hold on his hip, tugging at his waistband. Keith's eyes went open as he started to process what was going on. He didn't move though because Lance couldn't hurt him. He just couldn't. 

Lance wasn't like that, despite what he might have done to him. 

"L-Lance, stop," he whimpered as Lance's hand started getting closer to a place Keith didn't want to be touched. After a few seconds, Lance still didn't stop, and Keith pushed him away, landing on the hard white surface of the room. 

"W-why?" Keith asked as he curled in on himself, adjusting his shorts as he looked at Lance. His eyes looked different, and it made him scared. 

"Hey, it's okay. Keith," Lance asked as he squatted next to Keith. What had he done to make Lance like this? Was it his fault that he suddenly became so cruel? Had he ruined yet another person's life?

"Hey, I love you Keith, and I would never do anything to hurt you. I'm sorry about that, I guess I was just excited," Lance apologized. 

Keith just looked away. He wanted this to be over, the whole experience was weird and Lance, for the first time since he could remember, Lance was making him uncomfortable. He didn't know whether it was his lingering touch or the way he looked at him, but he wanted Lance to leave. 

"Keith," Lance sighed as he sat next to him, leaning his back at the wall. "Were you scared?" he asked, catching Keith off guard.

"You know, the whole procedure," he said. "I thought I lost you. I was scared," Lance admitted, running his hands through his hair. Keith just looked at him. "Keith, I'm a mess. I-I'm s-sorry. I'm taking everything out on you, and y-you deserve better," Lance started tearing up. 

Keith just looked at him, and everything seemed to click. He had almost died during the procedure, and he hadn't even thought about how that would affect Lance. Not mentioned, the act that something traumatic had happened after the procedure that he was still unaware of. How could he be so selfish? He sighed as he nuzzled next to Lance and tried comforting him in the best way he could. 

"Lance," Keith said a soon as they sat like that, him, leaning into Lance's shoulder for a while. He had calmed down now, and he was running his fingers through Keith's hair, getting the tangles out. He didn't want to rile him up again, but he needed to know. 

"Yes?" Lance asked as he didn't even look at Keith. 

"W-what did I do?" he asked, noticing his expression harden. "I'm sorry," he mumbled as he noticed how he wouldn't answer. 

"I don't want to talk about it," Lance said, causing Keith to sit up. 

"Lance, what did I do?" Keith asked again, his voice harsher.

"Keith lay back down," Lance said as he pulled Keith, causing him to collapse back on his lap.

"Stop! What did I do?" Keith yelled as he struggled against Lance. 

"Keith, you are always so complicated," Lance scoffed as he gripped Keith's wrist hard, causing Keith to whimper. 

"Lance, stop," Keith said again as he pulled away. Lance let go of him, causing him to harshly bump into the wall behind him. He gasped as the pain coursed through his body, his eyes even started tearing up. What was wrong with Lance?

"Keith, why do you have to be like this," Lance asked as he stood up right in front of Keith sprawled out body. He grabbed his jaw and forced Keith to look at him, only making Keith's eyes wider than before. 

"L-Lance," Keith tried to say before he felt Lance stroke his knee, causing him to tightly close his legs. What was he doing?

"Keith," Lance sighed as he gently stroked his cheek, almost as if to mock him as he pried his legs open. 

"LANCE!" Keith screamed as he struggled, punching and grabbing at Lance. "STOP!" Keith continued to protest as his skin soon turned a lavender and furry texture. He could feel his nails grow longer. He knew that when he changed, he usually blacked out, not remembering what happened, but this time he was on high alert. 

"I thought you would do that," Lance said as he pulled something out of his suit. "Pidge made this just in case," Lance said and Keith suddenly felt a sting on his thigh as something was injected into him, causing his skin to change back to its pale color, and his senses to calm down. 

"Wha-what?" Keith asked, but he suddenly felt drowsy and his hold became weaker against Lance, who took advantage and started to run his hands all through Keith's body. 

"Lance," Keith whispered in fear as he continued to struggle, it was useless due to whatever Lance had injected into him, but he didn't want this to happen. He knew what was going to happen, and he could already feel his stomach start to flip from thinking about it. 

"Don't you love me?" Lance asked, holding Keith's legs on his shoulders, and Keith just looked at him with teary eyes. Lance planted a gentle kiss on his temple, causing Keith to only cry more. 

"Please, Lance, stop," Keith sobbed as he tried to cross his legs, continuing to kick. 

"Oh, Keith, how I missed you," Lance said, and that only caused him to start panicking as Lance started tugging at his shorts. 

"Lance, please, please, please," Keith repeated as he kicked and struggled against the stronger boy, only causing energy to seep out of him and lose his breath. 

"I-I l-love you, I love you, no please, please, let me go-go. I-I, p-please," Keith started begging as he sobbed. "Lance, I-I can't," he added as he started giving up, allowing Lance leeway to do what he wanted. 

Keith blocked everything out after that, not aware exactly of what Lance was saying. He tried to focus on how his nails dug into his hands and the way his teeth bit his lip. When Lance would kiss him, he wouldn't even move, it was as if he was a ragdoll, his limbs seemed to not work, his body heavy and hard to control, only giving Lance all the power to do what he wanted. 

 

* * *

"Have you found him?" Lance asked as he leaned over Pidge. 

"Lance, it hasn't been my top priority," Pidge scoffed as she continued her work. 

"He didn't do it. He wouldn't," Lance said as he leaned over, and started coughing. 

"You should rest, Lance," Shiro said, walking over to him. 

"How can I rest when we lost Keith?" Lance asked and Shiro's ace dropped.

"Lance, can you just let it go?" Pidge groaned. 

"He didn't-," Lance began to say.

"You realize, it doesn't matter!" Pidge yelled. "He was Galra and we let him in! And look what that did!"

"It wasn't-," Lance began to say. 

"Lance, I think everyone just needs a little rest, especially you, we took quite a hit," Shiro said, trying to lighten the mood. 

"Don't you even remember? Have you seen Allura? Hunk?" Pidge asked, causing Lance to flinch. "Of course you didn't, because you care about some freaking Galra freak that caused our friends, no our family to get harmed, and you are here trying to find him, instead of helping the world," Pidge lashed out, her voice harsh and brutal.

"Pidge," Shiro said as he placed his human hand on her shoulder. 

"What? He doesn't realize how selfish and absolutely stupid he is being," Pidge scoffed as Lance looked at her, his glare softening. 

"I guess you're right. Why would I care about some Galra freak? Some prisoner that happened to be with us for almost a whole eight months, someone that trusted us and we trusted. Someone that Allura even fought for-," Lance argued. 

"And look where that got us!" Pidge yelled. He has taken enough from us. He hurt Hunk and Allura! He hurt my brother Lance!" Pidge yelled, causing the room to go silent. 

"What do you mean?" Lance asked. 

"I heard Shiro, I have the whole place tapped, and I was patient with you. I was patient with him, and I even helped you! And look where we are! Allura is unconscious. Hunk can't walk. You have a gash in your head, and Shiro couldn't even walk until two days ago. So stop! Hasn't he caused us enough torture?" Pidge asked, her face red with rage. 

Lance looked at her and then at the ground. 

"I know you think he is worth it. I know you like him, a lot. But look at us, Lance. We are in no position to go rescue someone that is the reason why the universe is in danger," Pidge said. 

"You know what he said when I asked him to do the operation?" Lance asked. 

"Lance-," Pidge said. 

"He wanted to keep doing it no matter if it cost him his life. He was willing to do anything to save us, us Pidge. When I held his hand while the memories were being transferred, I saw him. I saw him when he was small. The memories of his mom, the way she was tortured and killed in front of him. The way he screamed, and the pain he felt, but you know what I saw after that?" Lance asked.

"I saw the day I saved him. It felt loving and warm and it was just flashes of his time with us. He loved us, he trusted us. He was willing to die for us," Lance said. 

"Well we aren't willing to do the same for him," Pidge said as she turned her back on him, causing Lance to look at Shiro, who did the same. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance does...'that.'.. to Keith, but is it "really" Lance?  
> In another scene, Lance is seen with Shiro ad Pidge after a supposed attack by the Galra. Allura and Hunk are still hurt, and Pidge is set on not trusting Keith, based on the notion that it's his fault any of this happened.
> 
> The fate of the universe is looking uncertain as the only group that held the universe's hopes starts to fall apart.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Triggers for implied rape, angst, and overall confusion cause I haven’t updated in a long time 
> 
> If you read my other fic you will know who the characters I’m referring are, but if you don’t then it doesn’t really matter, just makes it not as understand Ake looking at why Keith is so afraid.

Keith stayed huddled in his little confinement room. He had been staring at one of the corners for at least a day. He didn't move, eat, or sleep. It was partly because of whatever Lance had drugged him with, but also because of how absolutely traumatized he was. No one had even come to visit him, or take care of him since what Lance had done. He shifted a little, groaning at the pain in his backside and bruises caused by the harsh hold on his thighs, touched the floor beneath him.

It just didn't make sense to him. What did he do to make the team hate him so much?

It was then that he started crying again.

_Lance why? I thought you were different._

He thought to himself as he huddled in tighter, letting his head collapse onto his knees, which were sticky from all the tears that had fallen on them. He was still in his white shorts and white shirt that he had woken up with after Lance left him, passed out from exhaustion. He wished he had stayed like that, but soon after he woke up, he could feel the drug that supposedly Pidge had made, course through him, jolting him awake, causing him to deprive himself of sleep, and about everything else.

"Keith," he suddenly heard next to him. He just kept looking ahead, he hadn't even notice the room opening or anyone stepping in, but he didn't want to have to deal with them. He wasn't getting any answers and maybe they would leave him alone if he just ignored them. The team wasn't like the Galra anyway, not as relentless and absolutely cruel like they were, or so he thought.

_At least they aren't torturing you._

He thought, but then mentally scoffed as he thought he would rather be tortured than have to endure all this.

"Fucking slut," the person who had come in said as they harshly pushed him. He didn't even register what was going on until his head hit the wall next to him and he weakly picked himself up, looking away.

"Oh so you are sad," they said as Keith suddenly felt himself be grabbed by his armpits and held up so he would stand up. He didn't though, he just looked down, not cooperating or even registering what was going on. He just wanted to be left alone.

"Baby, come on," the voice said and Keith suddenly felt a small peck to his neck which was the last straw that jolted him awake. The figure behind him that was holding him up chuckled at his reaction.

Keith turned to see who was behind him and he was met with unwelcoming and hungry yellow eyes and purple skin, it was Hext, his nurse back at the Galra prisons.

"No," Keith gasped as he clenched his fists ad tried squirming away.

"Hey, come on, don't be too excited to see me," Hext said as he immediately ran his hands under Keith's shirt.

"NO!" Keith yelled as he bit at his arm and punched as hard as his weak frame would allow him.

"You are a lot more vocal than you used to be," Hext teased as he pulled down Keith's shorts, causing his eyes to widen

"STOP!" Keith yelled as he kicked, causing Hext to hiss and briefly let go of Keith, enough for the teen to squirm away and to another corner of the small room. His heavy breaths getting faster in the confined space.

"H-how? H-hhow," Keith asked in between pants as he adjusted his clothes back on him, closing himself up in a helpless effort to protect himself.

"Well your friends were eager to hand back a slut prisoner like you," Hext grinned as he composed himself.

"I-I, I don't believe you!" Keith yelled, weakly, making Hext laugh at his attempt to be taken seriously.

"You don't have to. All you need to know is that you are coming back with us. You served your purpose after all," Hext said, grabbing Keith harshly by his wrist.

As the thrashing continued he looked behind Hext and the most heartbreaking image caught his eyes, it was Lance, smirking. 

"Lance, please! Please! Don't let them take me!" Keith screeched as Hext held him down, but Lance just stood there. 

"NO! STOP!" Keith yelled as he fought against Hext. "LANCE! WHY!" He screamed as his last attempt to escape the impossibly strong hold on him

"You will have to relearn where your place is you whore," Hext hissed as he pressed harshly on where Lance had injected him on his thigh. It suddenly caused him to lose all his energy and lose all feeling anywhere on his body.

"W-what?" Keith said as he suddenly collapsed right into Hext's grasp, his limp body, easily picked up.

"Let's go home, huh?" Hext asked as he deeply kissed Keith, who was already starting to lose consciousness.

 _I don't understand._ Was his last thought as a tear ran down his cheek and completely felt the world go black.

* * *

 "Not willing to do it for him?" Lance scoffed. "Fine, be stuck in your litle bubble of selfishness." 

"Lance-," Shiro tried. 

"Don't even start. You know I used to look up to you. I used to want to be you, but look at you guys. Do you not have any dignity or compassion? Isn't our job to help those that can't be help?" Lance firmly states. 

Pidge looked down, still holding her glare. 

"What makes him any different than other people we saved? Just his race?" Lance asked. "Didn't you hear him? He was begging to be let go, he was fighting and we just leave him, who knows where?" Lance said. 

"Lance, look," Pidge says, as an image comes up on the screen after she pushes a button. It's pictures taken of the team in the medical wing. All their lacerations, their busted lips, and bruises. "This is our team. We are right here. We are hurting, and we aren't okay. You can't leave as much as we can't because look at us. Look at us!" Pidge yelled as she pointed at the screen.

Lance looked down at the floor before finally looking at what Pidge was pointing to. It was himself. His lip busted and a big gash on his head which was followed by the rest of the team's profiles.

"We aren't trying to be selfish, but we are in no place to go looking for him when we are not even able to protect ourselves," Shiro said as he put his human hand on him. Lance was about to push it away until he looked at the deep cuts and bandages around it. Shiro's usual black sleeve gone. 

Lance was speechless. They had a point, a point he hates to accept was true.

"It's just, I-I," Lance stuttered. "I think I love him. And-and I can't lose someone else like him." Lance said as he landed on his knees. "I could have done more for him, and seeing Keith and not being able to do anything. It's just I can't lose more people, not like this" Lance gasped as he started tearing up. It took a while for Shiro to register what Lance was referring to, but as soon as he did, he felt his heart hurt.

"Lance, you loved your brother, and this isn't your fault," Shiro said as he went on his own knees, groaning as he pressed on cuts and bruises on his legs. 

"I-I can't lose him," Lance said as he let his face fall into Shiro's chest, sobbing.

Pidge just looked at them, bringing herself to her own knees and patting Lance's back. 

"I'm sorry for what I said lance. It's j-just we can't, not right now," Pidge said. 

"I-I know," Lance mumbled as Shiro hugged him, calming him down. 

Suddenly there was a beeping throughout the whole control center. Pidge ran to the controls to see what was going on. 

Her eyes widened as the controls seemed to light up, to start working, as the castle started to somehow work, despite all Pidge had predicted. 

"We are supposed to be suspended in space," she said, turning to the rest of the crew. 

"What-wait, so what's happening?" Lance asked before they heard the creaking of the control room open, the sound screeched from the state the metal of the door was in. 

"We are going to get him," Allura said as she entered the room, limping, holding her stomach. Her hair was a mess, and she has a nasty cut on her cheek. 

"Allura, you are okay," Shiro said, sounding relieved, Lance ran up to her and helped her walk, letting her support herself against his shoulder. He helped set her down on one of the chairs, his red chair. 

"We are getting him back. He saved us," she kept repeating, the group looking at her in confusion, they had a faint idea of what she meant, but they couldn't connect the dots. 

"Allura, what are you talking about? You should rest, we will try to see if a healing pod is working right now. You might be powering the ship, but it will make you weak," Shiro said, his dad mode coming out despite how broken he was too. 

"Keith," she simply said, sadly looking down, but with a determination in her eyes that Lance hadn't seen in a while. 

"Keith?" Lance asked as he flinched at the mention of his name. 

"We already discussed this, we will get him, eventually, but we don't have the resources to afford any attacks if we go rescue him, and plus-," Pidge started explaining. 

"He saved me. He saved us," Allura interrupted. "He's hurting," Allura said as she looked up at them.

"What-what do you mean?" Shiro asked. 

"Haggar, she attacked us. She was using Keith. I saw everything. She was going to kill me. We were in the astral plane, she was going to kill me, but Ketih-," Allura said, her voice cracking. 

"He-he stopped her. When he cut off the connection between him and Haggar, he went with them, but since I connected to his mind last, I can feel everything they are doing to him. I can feel it all. It hurts so much. I can feel his emotions, how scared he is," Allura explained. 

"We have to get him back, not only because Haggar can use him against us again, but because he sacrificed everything for us, even with the way we all treated him," Allura said, but it sounded more like an order. 

Lance nodded, and the others hesitantly followed suit. 

"We don't have the-," Pidge started saying before Allura stood up.

"We will find a planet to rest up on. Contact the blades, contact anyone we can with the power we have left. When Coran gets up, we will find out the best solution. But we are getting him back. We are not letting that poor boy suffer when he was done nothing but try to survive," Allura said, looking at Lance. 

"Thank you," Lance suddenly said, ignoring Allura's injuries and hugging her, digging his head into her shoulder, crying. "Thank you," he kept repeating. 

The only thing that interrupted the moment was the blaring of an emergency alarm as a ship approached. 

"What is that?" Shiro asked as the control panel started blaring as well, indicating danger. 

"It's a ship, but it's not Galra," Pidge responded. "It wants to send a message to us," Pidge said, getting the approval from Shiro to accept. Shiro did the usual commander greeting, only to get greeted with an image of a Galran type creature. 

Not completely Galra though, he had flowing white hair, yellow eyes with purple pupils, and a sly smile on his face. 

"Greetings, paladins," the creature said. "I am Prince Lotor."

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided that this story needed an actual ending, so here you go, this is a part of the new ending I want to give this story. 
> 
> Keith gets exchanged to Hext, his abuser back with the Galra but also “medical” provider 
> 
> Lance, Pidge, and Shiro try to recover after the attack happened and they struggle to figure out what to do when Lotor finds them in their defenseless state. Hunk, Allura, and Coran are still recovering, and Keith is nowhere to be seen


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hext and Keith have a heart to heart?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So although I am pulling out parts from "To Finally Understand" which is the actual sequel to this, I wanted to just put all of this into one "book", cause I feel like I extended the story to something it just wasn't supposed to be.
> 
> But okay, enjoy.

The world was black. All he remembered was being scared. 

"Hm," Keith hummed as he try to stretch from where he was. Soon he realized that he was tied up, and he started panicking. 

"Lance?" Keith cried out, but then was dawned with what had happened the last time he was fully awake. 

_Oh no! Oh, no, no,no! Please don''t be true._

Keith thought to himself as he looked around. He slowly came to terms with the grey panels walls around him in a dim lit cell room. The buzzing of the purple strips of light started becoming clearer and he soon lost it. 

_No. I can't be here. I-I-I can't-_

His thoughts were soon interrupted by the door to his cell opening. The figure stood in front of Keith's form, which was tied up in a chair, arms contorted back, legs tied to chair. His hair was in his face. As he looked down to his lap, letting his head hang, he realized that he was wearing a long grey shirt, similar to the one he had worn when he was in this same place, the Galra prisons. 

"Are you remembering your time here, halfling?" The figure said, his armor rubbing together as he walked towards Keith, who was hyperventilating, sweat dripping after it formed on his hairline. 

"You forget how to speak now?" The figure said, and Keith recognized the voice, didn't know who it was though. Sounded like a female, but sinister and wicked. 

Out of nowhere he felt a shock, almost like an electric one throughout his whole body. It was something he hadn't felt in a long time. But he knew it was from the figure's powers, whatever they were, he never understood them. 

"You will speak when spoken to. Now that you can, you will respond like a normal creature." The voice said, striking Keith again with her powers, causing Keith to cry out in pain, his chest lifting as much as it could from his tied up position. 

Still he refused to speak.

Another shock.

And another one.

And another. 

"Persistent are we?" The figure wickedly stated.

"Ah," Keith groaned as he shifted and panted from all the pain. It hurt, it hurt so much, in a way he didn't know how to describe. It just hurt. 

"You think this makes you strong? Resisting?" They spoke as another shock came. 

"It just makes you stupid, thinking you will win anything from this," it continued, another strike. 

"You forget here you don't own anything."

"Not your body."

"Not you mind."

"Not your pride."

"You were put on that ship to kill them, that's why they are so angry at you." That was it. It was what broke Keith. 

The truth. 

He was put on the ship to kill the paladins. To kill Lance, he could feel a single tears start a chain of liquid from eyes.

It caused him to break down. To start crying uncontrollably to the point where he started choking on his own breath. He hurt them. He hurt the people on the ship, he hurt Lance's friends, his friends. 

"No, no, no," Keith mumbled. And he suddenly felt a touch on his shoulder, almost consoling from the figure. His chin was grabbed by their long, slender Galra fingers. The figure was a woman, bright yellow eyes, and red marking streaks down to her chin. 

"The best you can do for them is listen," she said. "Listen and they won't get hurt.  _He_ won't get hurt," she added, alluding to Lance. 

Keith looked at her, tears still in his eyes. After a couple seconds he nodded, clenching his tied hands and grinding his teeth as he let out a breath he was holding.

The woman nodded, her cloak flowing as she went to leave the room.

"You will be let out in a week," she stated, releasing Keith from his restraints with the wave of her hand as she locked the door behind her.

Keith dropped off the chair, holding himself up with his arms, crying in the darkness he was left in.

* * *

The prince's image lit up the dark control room they all stood in. Everyone looked at Allura to see what they needed to do. 

"What do you wish from us?" Allura asked, trying to appear strong, making her voice louder than she could before. 

"He's clean," Pidge said, after scanning his ship, giving Allura a small nod. 

"Well as far as I can see, my father's meticulous plan has already started taking place. I was hoping to get here before he actually enacted it, but it appears I am too late. I am to understand that their connection to prisoner H546-98 sped up the process," Lotor began to explain

Lance's ears shot up at the mention of Keith's id number. 

"He can enter through the landing pad," Allura instructed. Shiro looked at her in concern, Pidge as well. 

"But he's the emperor's son," Pidge said. 

"And Keith was Galra," she said. "Either way, Shiro and Lance will talk to him, while I stay with Pidge was deal with security. I am too weak to meddle with greetings. If he seems suspicious, we will deal with it, if not we can talk. We need all the help we can get," Allura said, it made Lance's heart ache. 

He was glad Allura was being more open, that she wasn't letting her prejudice get in the way, but also the timing couldn't have been any later.

Nevertheless, he nodded and made his way with Shiro to the landing pad where Lotor's ship was instructed to land.

"Greeting, paladins," Lotor said as he exited his ship, sticking out his hand. Shiro took it, while Lance held his bayard in his hand. 

"What is it exactly you have come to discuss with us?" Lance asks as he steps a little closer, his grip on his weapon not getting any looser. 

"This attack will not be the last by my father. I know he is planning more, much more, and I want to join you in the effort to defeat him," his response was simple but so complicated to understand, so hard to believe. 

"His person is clear too,: Pidge's voice emitted through the speaker, the sound was static and almost kind of creepy from the condition the castle was in. 

"Lead the way?" Lotor asked. Shiro smirked slightly as he started walking back to the control room, getting the okay from Allura to bring him back. 

"So how come we have never heard of a prince?" Lance asked Lotor. 

"My father was never satisfied with my inability to destroy planets and my fascination with life. After Haggar's hybrid experimentation, I tried to put a stop to it, because of my background, but then I failed. That left me to be exiled for 'committing treason' and ruining 'precious' scientific material for the war," Lotor explained. "What they were doing was despicable. It was abhorrent and something no child should be born into."

"That's where you heard about Keith? Did you ever see him? Is he there now?" Lance asked, walking faster to keep up with Lotor's pace, which trailed behind Shiro's.

"Lance," Shiro said in a concerning tone.

"I think it would be better to discuss fully when we arrive, for there is much to tell, and much to explain," Lotor responded.

* * *

 "So you are saying the Galra has done hybrid experiments for as long as a hundred years?" Allura gasped. 

"And Keith is the most successful one?" Lance added. 

"It is why I am here. When Prisoner H546-98 escaped, I was quite shocked to hear it as such a celebration after a couple of human weeks. The project was terminated about six human years ago-," Lotor began to say.

"Why was it terminated?" Pidge asked.

"That is when the human was presumed dead by lethal injection. That is when my father, supposedly put a stop to all hybrid experimentation for he had a connection with the human that was surprisingly quite strong," Lotor said.

"What do you mean 'strong'?" Lance asked. 

"Well the hybrid project was initiated to make a strong offspring that would eventually be a prime leader in the Galra empire, be a successor if you will to military command. As the hybrid project continued to fail, seeing species were resilient to comply, my father started losing hope," he stated. 

"But since humans are great for experimentation-," Shiro put together. 

"Exactly, prisoner H546-98, was the first human subject to survive, giving my father hope that a viable, completely loyal successor would be possible. Not to mention, that being bred and trained, they would not have any desire to overthrow, and being bred to the fullest capacity would make him a pure image of what my father wanted projected," Lotor said. 

"What happened then?" Pidge asked. 

"You see this- Keith, as you call him, was not complying, until he was seven, where he finally started fighting. He was the best, defeating his trainers, using his abilities to rise up in the ranks as a measly seven year old, fighting against full blown Galra soldiers. It amazed my father, and continued to build a sort of father-son connection with him, pulling him away from his mother, and turning his brain to mush," Lotor said.

"But then months passed and he was pronounced dead," Lotor stated. "it left my father distraught, from what I could hear he stopped the projects, and retracted himself from Haggar's experimentation, focusing solely on conquering and ruling."

"What did they do to Keith then? If he wasn't actually dead? Why did no one tell him he was still alive?" Shiro asked, becoming intrigued in the story, for the first time really caring about Keith's past. It caused Lance to shiver a little form either relief or surprise. 

"I heard Haggar stopped the project and rather just used him for simple experimentation and observation. To be frank, he became someone for her to perform her dirty work on. Not the mention, the guards took a particular...liking to him," Lotor spoke, gently.

"As in-?" Allura asked, alluding to what everyone was thinking. 

"Yes, unfortunately it included a lot of...intimate actions," Lotor mumbled. 

"So you are saying for six years all Keith went through countless experiments, rape, torture, and abuse?" Lance asked, in an angered tone, getting up from where he was sitting, running his hands through his hair. "And now he is probably back there? Enduring the same thing?" 

Allura looked down. "I know he is. I have a connection to him as we speak.

"That's why I am here. When he was taken, no one heard, until Haggar made the choice to use him to get to you, the paladins of Voltron. It was all planned. For the last six months it is all the Empire was talking about. It sparked some hope in my father, and he strictly monitored everything as he found out the prisoner was still alive," Lotor said. 

"And Keith had no knowledge of the plans set out for him?" Pidge asked, not buying it. 

"I don't think you realize what being part of the hybrid project meant. It means you are not in ownership of your body, your soul, you actions, choices, emotions, pain, feelings, anything you feel as are a right to your being is taken away. You pure existence is something natural and planned out. Especially a hybrid as protected a desired as your friend. It is truly awful and cruel," Lotor says.

"And I personally find it abhorrent that you are judging him based on his background."

Pidge looked down, a bit ashamed as she turned red.

"He has only known that?" Allura asked.

"Unfortunately, especially since the death of his mother, he has been put in isolation for weeks at a time."

Shiro looked down, processing everything. 

"I'm sorry," Shiro said. 

"What?" Lance asked. 

"For everything. I judged him. I hurt him. I let out my anger on him just cause he was there. Just cause I couldn't and didn't have anyone near me to blame. I'm sorry for putting everything you kept telling us aside. He went through hell and back and back again, and I completely disregarded it," Shiro sighed. "None of it was his fault, he didn't mean to hurt us, he actually was willing to risk his life for us. And I-I-I'm sorry for not being able to see that."

"Yeah, I-I-I can't even put into words. He is part of something we didn't even bother figuring out, and now look, Zarkon is probably going to use him as a weapon, and he is going back to the life he fought so hard to get out of," Pidge said.

Lance sighed as Lotor further explained what they needed to do, leaving the team to process what Keith's disappearance could mean for the universe.

* * *

"Hey, come on," a sudden, harsh voice was heard. Keith woke up, his eyes adjusting tot he sliver of light coming into the isolation chamber. His mouth was so dry but he was surprisingly not hungry. The minute he heard a voice though, he went insane. 

The time he had spent on the castle, made him desperate for human interaction, some type of communication, body language. So maybe that is why instead of inching away like he usually had done, he grasped on to the furry hand reaching out for him. 

"You're so weak now," the voice chuckled as the figure easily picked him up, and carried him out of the room, Keith clenching onto patches of fur he could feel. He didn't even process where he was being taken, who was holding him, and to say the least, he wasn't even putting a thought as to where exactly he was. He was truly just in shock. He hasn't been left like that for so long. 

With no food, no water, no interaction. Just complete darkness and silence. It hurt. It left him time to think, drive himself crazy. 

"They truly babied you," the figure said as he walked into what appeared a medical room. He suddenly started forcing himself to process what was going on. He stopped holding in a breath he wasn't even aware he was holding and looked around. He looked up at the figure, it was Hext. He gulped as he started going pale, his fists gripping on looser to the patches of fur he was holding onto for dear life. 

He was back. He was actually here. The more he was allowed time to look around, the more he recognized the room and it pained him so much. He saw the bed, where he was usually strapped in, the cabinets, holding countless sedatives and drugs, needles. It wasn't only the eight months he was with the paladins that he had no seen the room, it was six years along with that. 

He had not seen this room ever since they stopped doing formal experiments with him, and rather letting countless prisons find a use for him. 

"I thought you were gone," Hext then coldly stated, grabbing the weak Keith and pinning him against the wall he was standing in front of, across from the bed. 

All Keith could do was let out a small groan in retort. He really didn't have the energy to fight back or yell. He just felt so numb at the moment. The fact that he was actually back, sinking in. 

"For almost seven years, everyone thought you were dead," Hext said again, putting his mouth right next to Keith's ear, who was facing the wall, "Say something won't you?" Keith suddenly felt a threatening pressing of his lower back, reaching for something lower. 

All he started to do was silently cry as he felt Hext start pressing into him. 

_He was back, he was back, he was back. Let this not be real, oh please, let this be a dream. Tell me I'm dreaming, I can't. I can't do it, it hurts. i don't want to remember the hurt this way._

Keith started repeating to himself in his head. 

"Just say something," Hext demanded, slamming Keith's head into the wall, forcing his cheek to lay flat, and his head turned to the side his hands at his head's sides, clenching in fists. 

"You're crying," Hext teased as he saw how wet Keith's cheeks were. "You can let it out, you know," Hext said as he ran his big hand through his hair, lovingly. Keith hated it. It was never one way with Hext. He always confused Keith. He wished he would jsut do what he was starting, and get it over with, stop treating him nicely, just be mean and do it. 

"Goddammit," Hext hissed as he slammed the hand that was on Keith's hair to the side of his head, causing Keith's eyes to widen, still not moving his stance though. 

"Say something!" Hext yelled as he backed off, turning Keith around, so he was facing him. 

"I don't see you for six decaphoebes and you have nothing to say to me," Hext said. "Not even the thing you hated me doing the most, the thing that made you scream out begging, gets you to say something. You can speak now, just say something. Yell at me! Start sobbing! Just do something won't you?" Hext yelled, throwing his arms out in a fit.

Keith didn't understand, it wasn't his fault he was transferred out six years ago from the lab. They had changed him around.Nevertheless, Keith looked at him shocked. He then looked away, and still refused to say anything. He didn't want to talk, he didn't want to use his voice, he just wanted to be left alone. 

Hext sighed as he ran his hands through Keith's hair, who seemed to have no motivation to stop it. "Zarkon is coming to see you today," Hext said, receiving a terrified look from Keith as he finally made eye contact. "Yeah, and he's not happy. I have to do a full examination on you. Take out that food tube we put on you. Now that you are cleansed out, feed you the normal food here, you are a fully functional being anyway."

Keith looked down at himself, and ran his hand over his stomach, there was indeed a food tube stuck to him, and he winced at how he hadn't even been able to notice it. He realized he didn't feel hungry, and he finally got his answer. 

"You know, it's good to see you," Hext said, going to get something from the closet, where Keith remembered his clothes being. "I mean look at these, they are still here," he said as he pulled out a small purple shirt, something he wore when he was young. "Zarkon didn't want us getting rid of anything, and frankly no one wanted to either."

Keith looked at the clothes and then at Hext. He hated it here. Hated how everyone wanted him to be there. He had almost forgotten how fond everyone had gotten after he finally started listening, how they were successful in breaking him. How he would fight for their enjoyment, listen to them, believe their ideals, believe that they were truly showing him love. 

It was hard to remember the last few years with them after changing prisons. He hadn't seen Hext, Varkz, or Zarkon for six years. He hadn't gotten special treatment, or the luxury of being the only successful experiment in a hundred years.

He had instead been living actual hell, sent from prison to prison, experimented test after test. He was unsure what the transition was, and at this point why everyone was so upset about it. If everyone was sad to let him go, why did they transfer him in the first place?

He had always thought about it, if he had done something. But rather he was being more obedient than ever, and it confused him every time he thought about it. He didn't really think much of it until now, until Hext brought the idea back into his head. It frustrated him, and he hated it. Hated caring about wondering why. he shouldn't care, he wouldn't let himself.

But from what Hext was describing, it sounded like something huge happened between his time in this lab, and time spent being a...pleasure slave. It sounded as if the change was something that was not expected. As much as he hated it, he awaited some type of explanation, but didn't want to ask for it.

"Well speak, you look like you want to say something," Hext said. "You never were one for words, now that you can, put them to use."

Keith looked at him, fighting the urge to speak, finally giving in. 

"W-what happened?" He finally conjured, his voice hoarse from not talking for so long.

"What do you mean?" Hext sighed as he searched for more clothes in the drawer, dust filling the air as more cabinets were opened.

Keith just looked down, not wanting to repeat himself, it tired him physically to talk.

"The incident? The one where you died?" Hext then asked, as he found some clothes that would fit him. "These were meant for you before you left. Haggar made them, for when you grew," Hext said showing him the clothes. 

Keith ignored him and just nodded to what Hext has speculated before. 

"From what everyone knows, you died six years ago," Hext said as he tugged Keith's shirt off to take out the food tube. Keith winced as he looked at the tube, there was a glowing blue tube also going into him, he eyed Hext for answers. 

"You needed strength fast," Hext said rubbing his hand over the quintessence tube pumping into Keith. "We will need to take that out too."

"W-Why w-was I dead?" Keith asked, wanting to get answers. 

"Someone had injected you with a lethal injection. It had already shut down all your vital organs, and by the time I came to check up on you, you weren't breathing anymore," Hext explained, a pained expression on his face as he clicked something, causing the feeding tube to detach from Keith. 

Keith looked shocked as he felt the withdrawal of the tube, it pained him. He looked down to see Hext already had wrapped the opening. 

"Haggar has updated the machinery while you were gone, it's not done how it was before. Much quicker process," Hext said, as he went to remove the iV line pumping quintessence into Keith. 

"And then?" Keith whimpered out, as Hext quickly removed the line from his hand. 

"We were told that Haggar couldn't revive you, and that you were gone. That same day you just disappeared. Your mother was sent to another prison by some of Kolivan's trusted generals, and we never heard from you again," Hext explained, his voice not sounding completely convinced by what he was saying,  wrapping Keith's hands in the same gray bandage that his stomach was wrapped in. 

"But I was-I- was not dead," Keith mumbled. "I-I was alive, and I- they hurt me so much," Keith whimpered as he balled his fists and looked at his lap. Seeing battered legs with bruises and cuts instead of his clothes ones. 

He started hyperventilating as he looked down, looking around and seeing a room with a bed, guards with chains to put on him. 

"Stop it, please, don't," Keith screamed as he begged. 

"Hey, calm down," Hext said as he put his hands on his shoulders to calm him down. It only agitated Keith more, causing his claws to grow in and his vision to blur. 

"Don't hurt me! Stop it!" Keith yelled as he clawed at Hext's arms, only scratching metal.

"Stop it! No one is doing anything to you!" Hext yelled, grabbing his wrist. 

Keith panted as he looked in front of him, all he could see was faces with helmets over them, a purple light staring point blank at him. He went to bite at the hand holding his right wrist.

Hext grunted as Keith started standing up from the medical table, making it harder to hold him down when he was growing taller. 

"Calm down," Hext said, squeezing the wrists he was holding. He sighed as it had no effect. "Keith!" Hext yelled, causing Keith's eyes to turn back to their normal color instantly. 

"Mom?" Keith asked as he stopped fighting, looking Hext straight in the eyes. His mother was the only one that had called him that in his time at those prisons, the onyl one giving him an identity other than the whore they called him. 

"Calm down, you aren't wherever you think you are," Hext grumbled as Keith then tumbled down from his standing position, his chest falling into Hext's shoulder. 

After a couple of ticks, Keith grunted as he stabilized himself, lifting his head from Hext's shoulder. 

"Hext?" Keith questioned as he looked around him. He wasn't in the prison he thought he was in, there were no guards about to rape him, and no danger. 

His mom wasn't there either. As soon as realizing that Keith started sobbing erratically into Hext's shoulder, grabbing at the fur on the creature's head. "Mom, I want my mom," Keith yelled. "Please, let me see her," Keith sobbed. 

Hext just stood there in shock, witnessing the different emotions that Keith was going through. Sure, the kid had been disturbed when he was here, but he was clinically stable to the point where he at least knew where he was. Getting to know things outside the prison, had made him susceptible to a new environment, making him prone to something humans were known for, PTSD. 

"Hey, come on, you're fine," Hext said, pulling Keith away from him. Keith made a weak noise as he was pulled off, his cheeks damp and eyes puffy. 

"Why did they kill her?" Keith asked as he looked Hext straight in the eyes.

"What did they do to you?" Hext asked as he saw how Keith was still panting extremely hard, scratching as his arms, and biting his lip. 

Keith just looked away as he balled in on himself, continuing to sob. 

Being here, remembering it all, made him hopeless. He had gotten so much better, he believed he was getting better. He hated how being here made him feel. It made him think about things he didn't think about before. 

He didn't have to think about his mother when he had the paladins around him. He didn't have to think of Hext, or Varkz, or the witch, or worst of all Zarkon when he was comforted by Lance. 

Lance. The thought of him also made his chest clench. He could feel more tears pour out as he thought harder on the subject. 

"I wish I no live no more," Keith mumbled as he finally looked up. "No point in live here when I just going to be hurt."

Hext could feel his eyes widen as he processed what Keith was saying. He immediately went to grab Keith's jaw his his hands, both unproportionally large to Keith's head. 

"Now you listen here, you can't do that," Hext said as Keith looked at his, wide-eyed. 

"You don't realize all this team had worked for, for you. We have tended to you since you were a child, we made you who you are today. Now it isn't our fault that somehow you got lost," Hext said harshly, Keith trying to move his hands, with his tiny ones.

"You know how hard it was for everyone. How hard it was for me?" Hext yelled. "My only child, just disappears for six years, and now I hear of him, and he tells me he doesn't want to live? You know how hard it is for me to realize that you were alive this whole time? After everything I did to make sure you didn't have to go through this anymore? " Hext yelled, causing Keith to stop fighting. 

Hext immediately lets him go, causing Keith to collapse to the floor. 


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so here is where I do self promo, on this part in the sequel I 'advertised' by other story, so here is me fangirling about my messed up story
> 
> 'It's called "MY Talking Journal" and honestly don't mean to self promo here, but you should check it out. A but of a roller coaster and kind of just everywhere, but it's something that took me a while to work on. TBH I wanted to make it a Voltron fic, but I felt having it as an Original work suited it best, but if you really want to know (Keith = Isaac) XD But either way, here is this chapter and hope you enjoy!'

[My Talking Journal](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14985551)

Keith awoke in a dark room with new clothes and a moving room. He looked around, noticed he was chained to the seat he was in. He looked around and saw Hext. 

"You're awake," Hext says as he looks at Keith. 

"Everything hurts," Keith mumbled as he sat up straight, looking around. 

"To the Emperor," Hext responded, answering the impending question as to where the ship was headed. Keith looked at him in question. He felt panic rise up in his chest. He didn't know exactly why, but he was unsettled, not wanting to move places so suddenly. 

He then felt the ship stop, the doors opening and Hext unchained him from the chair, let him walk into the landing pad, greeting what looked like a medical team. He looked around and noticed another ship behind him, Varkz and familiar faces from the lab coming into view. 

"Where is he?" He heard a booming voice ask and he immediately shivered under the sound. "Ah, there he is," the voice continued leaving Keith a mess of nerves as he avoided all eye contact. He suddenly felt extremely vunerable. He tugged at his clothes, noticing that the shorts were longer and the shirt purple, the shorts black instead of the usual all white. 

He then felt himself be engulfed in a huge and thundering embrace, he felt he was going to be broken into pieces. 

He was let go of and his chin was grabbed, making him look up. 

"You don't know how much I missed you," the Galra said. He was huge, his eyes glowing a purple color, his skin hard and his armor heavy. 

Keith looked up at him in horror still, shaking under his gaze. 

"We found his prison record. He was filed under a completely different number. It shows that he was cashed in by a scavenger to a small harem," a Galra said as he read off a tablet. Keith looked at them and then at the huge Galra. Keith looked at him closely, into those eyes. He remembered something, fanitly as he kept staring. 

"Zarkon?" Keith asked in the quietest voice he could even muster. 

"They did something to his brain. His memory is lacking and he has enough visible damage to show at least four years of torture," the same Galra with the tablet read off. 

"So what is wrong with him? Read me the full report," Zarkon asked, making Keith flinch back at his loud voice. 

"He is a seventeen year old human-galra hybrid male. Last time he was with us, was fully compliant, impeccable instincts, reflexes, and proportional muscle mass and body structure. Keen on his feet, and in the ranks for general positions," the Galra said. "At age twelve disappeared and presumed dead. Not a word of his whereabouts until two weeks ago, when he aided in the conquest to defeat Voltron, doing damage to the main ship, but not before they jumped into a wormhole; that is still not detected."

Keith looked down absorbing all the information. He had hurt them. 

_I hurt them, the people that trusted me._

"He is still being monitored for recovery of muscle mass and proper nutrition. He will be ready to begin any straining activity by tomorrow," Hext spoke up behind Keith. Zarkon grunted in response. 

"Well, then I will let you set up. I will take the boy with me for the day, to know the place," Zarkon said, signaling at Keith to follow him. 

Keith walked, slowly towards Zarkon and let himself be guided into Central Command. 

"You used to run around these halls," Zarkon said, Keith just looked at the halls, something in his mind buzzing. They were about to turn a corner until they bumped into what looked like a general that was walking the corner. He was about to apologize until he looked at Keith. 

"Keith?" He said as he inspected the person in front of him. Keith looked at him, confused, until he felt a rush flow into him. 

Zarkon. Hext. Varkz. It all came back to him. A feeling of safety secured as he remembered the memories in Central Command. He would spend countless hours in spars, defeating all his opponents. He would eat with Zarkon, talk about battle plans. Then he looked at the Galra in front of him. 

"Daz," Keith said as the Galra hugged him. 

"Is it really him? I thought he was dead. I didn't think the rumors were true," Daz said as he let go of Keith, looking up at Zarkon. 

"It is, he's back," Zarkon replied, making Keith start crying as his memories started flooding in. He remembered. He remembered all of it. 

"What's wrong with him?"

"Keith?"

_Keith felt his eyesight go black and he then started seeing something. He saw Zarkon in a room, smaller, less frightening than before, talking to someone, Hext?_

_"We need to start jumping this project. It's worked, and I need reliable troops for the attack on the Balmera planet now," he boomed._

_"He is still just a child. What you are asking for will kill him," Hext responded._

_"Hext, I have let you in on this operation even after knowing you are his father. I don't ask for a parent to make decisions like this, but if you don't, we will lose the quintessence," Zarkon demanded._

_Hext then rushed, and Keith could see his younger-self, his twelve year old self, run away from where he was watching the conversation. He had run to where Hext was now. He was talking to Kolivan._

_"You need to do it. I know you are with the Blade and whatever it is you were planning on doing. You need to do it tonight, or he is going to be cloned and he will die," Hext said, Kolivan nodding and running away. Keith saw himself walking over to Hext, pulling on his sleeve._

_He asked him what was going on and Hext looked at him with sad-eyes and told him the hard truth,_

_"You know how we talk about how being evil is not always a good thing? How people shouldn't be made into war-machines?" Hext said and Keith nodded, his little self looking up at Hext, he was wearing armor, and his hair was sharp, recently cut._

_"Hext, am I going to have to die?" Keith asked and Hext kneeled down._

_"Don't say it like that," Hext said._

_"But it's for the good of the universe right? That's what Kolivan says," Keith explained._

_"It's for your own good," Hext said as he hugged Keith tight and told him to go to Daz. He said to go do anything he wanted._

_"Hext," Keith heard himself say as he went to go find Daz._

_"Yes?" Hext said, standing back up._

_"Dying, will it hurt? Will it hurt to die?" Keith asked._

_"Not even a little bit," Hext responded as he watched Keith walk away._

Another black flash.

"Is he okay?"

"Is he breathing?"

Keith heard as he started opening his eyes. He suddenly rose from whatever he was laying on, panting, gasping for air. 

He looked around and realized he just had a flashback. 

"Keith, don't do that for quiznack sake, you idiot!" He heard Daz yell as he felt an embrace around him. 

Keith let himself be hugged, processing the information. 

* * *

"So if we don't put a stop to this, they are going to make an army of Keith's?" Shiro asked Lotor.

"That is the plan yes," Lotor responded. 

"But Keith could barely defend himself. He was like the weakest thing-," Pidge started to say, stopping as Lance glared at her.

"As I presume, wherever you found him stopped his training and probably for a long time. They did something to him, making him weak, scared, the human whom you rescued," Lotor explained. "If he were at his normal state, he could have easily taken all of us and killed us without question."

"What they were making him was a weapon. The only reason they failed once is because emotions started getting in the way. This time, I'm sure the mistake will happen again," Lotor added. 

"So what? What can we even do, everything is damaged," Lance said. 

"I have supplies that will fix the ship and I know where you can locate materials and supplies," Lotor said. 

"How long do we have? Until their plan goes through?" Allura asked. 

"Not long. At minimum an estimation of three human years," Lotor said, the rest of the team sighed and looked at each other. 

It was either this or the universe would really be screwed over. They took a few seconds to process the information and Shiro gave the confirmation nod and let everyone get to work, unloading supplies and getting everything fixed. 

"I need the tools located in the right compartment," Pidge said. 

"These ones?" A raspy voice said and everyone's eyes widened as they looked at where it came from. 

"HUNK!" Lance yelled as he rushed over and hugged the wobbling figure. 

"How long have you been awake?" Pidge asked. 

"You shouldn't be standing, you need to rest," Lance ordered. 

"It's fine. I am fine. Just dizzy," Hunk groaned as he stood up a bit straighter to seem more okay. 

 

"And Coran?" Allura asked. 

"He-he's still not awake," Hunk said and they all looked down. 

"What about Keith? Is he awake? I didn't see him in the room with us. He's not in the crypods we were in," Hunk said. 

Lance looked down, another round of awkward silence filled the room. 

"Don't-no," Hunk gasped. "He's gone isn't he? Passed away?" Hunk continued. 

"No, no. He's alive, just he's with the Galra," Allura said. 

"He might as well be dead," Pidge said and Lance glared at her. She raised her hands up in apology, but continued to look around. 

"What-what is that supposed to mean? How-how did they even take him?" Hunk asked, holding onto the wall for support. 

"I-I don't really know. He just kind of disappeared. I-," Lance began to explain. 

* * *

"You just left. One day I was pulled out of combat and you were just gone," Daz said and Keith looked down. They were in the royal garden, sitting on one of the fountains. It was nice. It was something Keith had never really seen. 

"It's beautiful isn't it? Zarkon had it made just for you. He said it was simulated after an Earth thing. He thought it would be a nice gift after you killed Gernax," Daz chuckled as he got up and picked up a rock, throwing it up at a steady pace as he looked up.

"I don't remember much," Keith said as he let his elbows fall on his thighs, letting his eyes wander to the floor beneath him. 

"You were happy," Daz said after a couple seconds of silence. 

"I thought I knew what that felt like," Keith mumbled. 

"So you were with Voltron? Do you want to tell me, or am I going to have to beg you?" Daz chuckled once more as he threw the rock he was holding in the fountain, making a splash that hit Keith. 

Keith looked up at him and jolted, Daz smiling at him, holding his hands up innocently. 

"They-they rescued me. They took me from one of the prisons," Keith said, picking up a rock himself and throwing it, more as a way to focus on something and try not to remember the prison. 

"Prison? Is that where you ended up after you disappeared from here?" Daz asked, sitting down next to Keith. 

"I guess so," he responded. 

"Did they make you fight? Like in the arena?" Daz asked, making Keith stop throwing the rock, instead clenching it in his fist, he looked away. "Sorry, I'm pushing too much," Daz said as Keith started to go quiet. "You know, it never was a problem when we were young. We told each other everything."

"They called it a harem," Keith mumbled out, passing the rock to his other hand. "The-the nurse or reporter or whatever. They said I was sent to a small harem," Keith continued, looking away as best as he could at this point, letting his hair cover his face as best as it could. 

"Keith," Daz gasped as he didn't do anything. 

"I-I didn't talk while I was there. They killed my mom in front of me. They-they-I don't know what they did, but it hurt and it still hurts," Keith said as his voice started to quiver. Daz didn't say anything and just placed his arm around Keith, bringing the teen's head to his chest, letting Keith try to get it all out. 

"I-I thought I was still here. I-I thought they were doing experiments on me. I-I forgot about you, about Zarkon, all I remembered was the pain when I was small. I thought that when they rescued me I was s-safe," Keith said as his body shivered, Daz trying to soothe his friend as much as he could. 

"Voltron, right? They rescued you?" Daz said, Keith nodded. "They aren't who you think they are. They want to kill Zarkon, all he has done for the universe," Daz said, gently as Keith trembled. 

"I-They said they c-cared about me. Lance-He said he loved me. I-I didn't know what that felt like and I-I was stupid," Keith cried out as he lightly punched Daz's shoulder. He never got to talk about this. How truly betrayed he felt. He just tried to see the positive in it, seeing all he might have done wrong. But he was tired. 

He was tired of making excuses for them. They hurt him, Lance-he hurt him. 

"Keith, Voltron will pay, just like those Galra scavengers that did this to you. You deserve better, and you can get on with your life and do all the things that Zarkon planned for you," Daz consoled. "You can even come and command a war like me," Daz chuckled. 

"Was I- was I really happy? Here, training with all these Galra?" Keith asked, his breathing having calmed down, his face still buried in Daz' shoulder. 

"Yes, and everyone was happy with you here," Daz responded. "Now, will you stop crying and let me give you a proper tour of your 'forgotten home'?" Daz laughed, gently pushing Keith off. Keith chuckled as he wiped away tears from his damp face. He nodded and let Daz drag him throughout Central Command, to the place where he was starting to feel he  _really_ belonged. 

Maybe all that had happened was for the best, maybe it was true that Voltron wasn't all that Keith thought it was. Lance hadn't turned out to be what Keith thought he was either, what made the rest of the paladins any different?

* * *

As days passed, it soon a month passed. A month of Keith being in Central Command, training, interacting with Galra, and realizing  that he belonged with them. 

For the first week he was there, the 'crew' explained to him all that had happened, how his death had been faked, how everyone was distraught when hearing about his death, but mostly how life was before he was gone. 

He remembered the witch that was there explaining to him too, her eyes boring into him. He knew she experimented on him in the supposed time frame she was supposed to think he was dead, but he didn't bring it up. 

_I could be wrong._

He convinced himself he was wrong, because they wouldn't hurt him. They did all they did for the well being of the empire. He understood now that his blood had to be shed, so others didn't. 

He understood the sacrifice that all Galra faced inside the empire, he was no exception, no one was. 

So maybe that is why he wasn't surprised when he began his training a few days later. He wasn't shocked by how easily fighting came to him, how quick his reflexes and his mind worked as he was fed a proper diet and retaught how to defend himself, how to defend his emeperor. 

"Keith," Daz called out to him as he passed him in the hallway on his way to the mess hall. It was time for the soldiers to eat. As they made their way through they grabbed their meal and sat down. 

Keith remembered the first day Daz and him ate in the mess hall, two Galra kids ended up fighting each other, one getting so riled up that he repeatedly started stabbing the other one with a utensil, the screams were still permanently stuck in Keith's memory. 

It reminded him of the environment he was in, that this was no joke. That the empire was raising soldiers. The kid got send to confinement immediately, and Keith hadn't seen him since. 

At that moment, he didn't know if what he had witnessed made him more sick than the way Daz continued eating through it, like nothing happened. 

He was learning though, that the world was cruel and this facility was no exception. Despite all the gore and violence he encountered he also thrived. Daz was truly a good friend, and as the days continued, and the witch kept 'giving him back his memory' he started minding the way things were less and less. 


End file.
